Monday Madness. Well, only Baggy Trousers but…
The following picture is not a spoof. Honest. It’s a genuine front page of ‘The World’s Greatest Newspaper’ and it has broken my Express Covers Bingo Equation for the week. And it’s only Monday.
I think I know the answers to the questions today’s headline poses about ‘the new book that everyone’s been waiting for’:
Just what did happen the night she disappeared?
What’s the truth about the mysterious sightings of her?
And who do the police really think is responsible?
Is it:
Nobody knows. That’s kind of the point. But why not exploit a tragedy for newspaper sales?
They were all not her and just another way to exploit the tragedy for newspaper sales.
The parents of course. But nobody wants to look mean by saying that.
What a weird day. Moments to remember included squeezing the Scary Manga Monkey Toy that makes the best screaming ever monkey noise (it would scare a real simian) and having to resist doing it again as I really really like it but it’s a bit wrong to be so obsessed, explaining cochineal to a disbeliever, trying to work out why a credit card machine would not work by trying endless cunning plans, Christmasizing a dull card stand by adding tinsel, listening to a reggae version of Sarah McLachlan, discovering the best worst ever Daily Express front cover ever (see above for the horror of The Express publicizing a book about Madeline McCann being serialised ‘all week’ as if that’s any change to their usual made-up tat), not getting delays on public transport for the first time in ages, laughing at a crapper than the usual crap level Hollyoaks, inserting that Kylie CD into my PC and watching it go all funny but loving having those songs in a top quality format at long last, eating another of those packs of Mentos that I bought that may not be totally vegetarian but it’s all so vague, wondering just how exactly we sold out of Al Murray’s Pub Landlord book (even though it was half price, I mean, come on!), eating a pie, tormenting the staff with Christmas music in the shop, and buying things I really shouldn’t but it’s Christmas and I deserve presents, damnit!
So how was your day?
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