It’s time for mega Nerd Nonsense Comicon-related uber-geeky excitement round-up time!

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Item! The Prisoner remake is ready and looks good to these eyes. It’s not spooky swirly 60s marvellous nonsense in Wales but for what it is it is good.

Item! The trailer for Dexter series 4? Oh yes!

New book on its way soon too, in that whole Earth 2 Dexterverse way.

Item! Russell T Davies has been talking about the (over) reaction to certain things what did happen in that Torchwood thing off the telly. No, not the whole giving the 10% least academic children to a freaky three-headed projectile-vomiting alien but the fourth killing off of a member of the team from the first episode:

It’s not particularly a backlash. What’s actually happening is, well, nothing really to be honest. It’s a few people posting online and getting fans upset. Which is marvelous. It just goes to prove how much they love the character and the actor. People often say, ‘Fans have got their knives out!’ They haven’t got any knives. I haven’t been stabbed. Nothing’s happened. It’s simply a few people typing. I’m glad they’re typing because they’re that involved. But if you can’t handle drama you shouldn’t watch it. Find something else. Go look at poetry. Poetry’s wonderful.

On accustations of homophobia (yeah, really):

I think you can forget about people picking up gay rights as an issue. It’s rather like children picking up nursery blocks and waving them in the air but having no idea what it entails. We’re talking about issues in my entire life here, not just one small television program. If they did research they’d go and look at the history of gay and lesbian characters that I have put on screen. They should simply grow up, do some research, and stop riding on a bandwagon that they actually don’t know anything about.

That told ‘em, Uncle Russ!

Oh… stop it.

Item! How will the delicate little Torchwood fans (do they have a group name?) cope with Caprica? Probably not well. Big Cheese Jane Espenson (remember her?) let some cats out of bags about the forthcoming Battlestar Galactica prequel:

Caprica is set in the colonies 58 years before the events that launch the BSG series (the Cylon attack). It’s the story of the events leading to the creation of the first Cylon (not the first skinjob), and the events that follow. It’s not like BSG in that it’s not a war story. It’s more serialized, with stories based in the lives of characters living in a culture that driving itself toward its own destruction.
We’ve got organized crime and religious conflict and terrorism and show business and corporate misdeeds and robots. The tone is not unlike Mad Men or Rome or Sopranos — lots of events, often dark events, but with a light enough touch to allow all the irony and denial of real life. We concentrate on two families: The Graystones and the Adamas, and the people around them.

Hmm… I do believe I might well be watching that. More nerdy shit tomorrow as my limp wrists cannot take any more typing today.

As I am on holiday I have time for nice things like cookery, cleaning, sorting out bookcases, ironing, reading books, writing stuff and watching telly stuff of the web. Here are some things:

True Blood’s first episode is pretty much the same as the leaked pilot but with a nice title sequence (why is it only ‘grownups’ channels have them these days?) featuring Jace Everett’s Bad Things song and some harsh imagery. Loved the ‘God Hates Fangs’ sign but the maggoty animal was a bit much! Ruttina Wesley replaces Brook Kerr as best friend “uppity” Tara but everyone else is still there, including Vampire Bob from Brentwood, Essex aka that place where I was born. I reviewed this ages ago and I still love it. It’s still something those Whedon fans who miss the old vamp shows will enjoy in between all the comics.

With The Shield on its final season, FX needs a new show for men! How about Sons Of Anarchy? It’s a small town motorcycle gang extravaganza and it features Hellboy, Nathan From Queer As Folk, Peg From Married With Children, Skinner From The X-Files, Adriana From The Sopranos, Anita From Six Feet Under and Dutch From The Shield. Lots of rude words, bikes, shooting and tragedy. Shakespeare with (motorcycle) helmets? Anybody? I quite enjoyed it and will give it a go.

Dexter’s back!

In episode 3.1 Dexter goes to the dentist, makes pancakes and buys some donuts. Deb gets a new hairstyle, gives up bad habits and makes an enormous faux pas in front of Special Guest Star Jimmy Smits. Someone gets promoted, Masouka writes an article, the new guy is under suspicion and the season arc involves Dexter’s ‘Code’ violation…

And finally, something I heard from some virtual lesbians made me happy:

The previously announced online spinoff of The L Word will revolve around Leisha Hailey’s Alice, Showtime announced today. In-between shooting The L Word, Hailey has been busy promoting her new rock band, Uh Huh Her, which recently released its first album, Common Reaction.

The best new show of 2006 (yes, not Heroes) finally arrives on Proper Telly tonight. Dexter is on ITV(1) at 10:35 and I very much recommend you watching it / recording it / getting your butler to trascribe it in a notebook while your housekeeper draws courtroomesque sketches of the action. It’s based on those books that we’ve sold loads of at The Bookshop since I got a bit obsessed with it but there are key differences between the two genres, as with most novels that get adapted for the screen as a long-running series. This is not a bad thing at all, just don’t read the first book before watching the first season if you haven’t already done so as it’s so nice to watch each week having no spoilers as to what is going to happen next.

I think Dexter (the books) creator Jeff Lindsay can explain the appeal better than I can so here’s an article he wrote for The Guardian last Saturday:

Just because Dexter likes slicing up bodies, doesn’t mean he’s weird. In fact, his creator Jeff Lindsay reckons we’ve all got a lot in common with him…

Life would certainly be easier if we all came equipped with our own personal FAQ lists. When we meet someone, we could pass them a business card with the list on the back, and then step back and let them read before we tried to talk. That way, instead of forcing us to hear the same questions ad infinitum, our new friends could refer to the FAQ list for a quick and painless answer. No, I am single. Yes, the hair is real. I prefer red wine, thank you. And so on.

My title character, Dexter Morgan, is a serial killer. But he only kills other serial killers. The rest of the time he works for the police as a blood spatter analyst, and hides his true passion for his hobby of slicing and dicing the wicked. He is quite good at it, and just as good at blending in with the rest of us in such a way that we never suspect. It seems obvious to me that this is fiction. But it does engender some very odd looks from people when I meet them for the first time. I think they would like to believe that everything in the books is true, the result of extensive personal research. But I don’t really look like the type to do that sort of thing. And so the first question I always get, and therefore first on my FAQ list, is “where did you ever get the idea for a character as weird as Dexter?” This is mildly annoying for several reasons. First, as a professional writer, I can think of dozens of better questions, starting with: “Would you like a drink?” Secondly, I have answered this particular question over 4,000 times by my count. And thirdly – damn it, Dexter isn’t weird.

I am not trying to claim that serial murder is a common American practice, although you might think so based on our network television, or from visiting certain parts of Miami and Detroit. My point is just that 99% of the time Dexter is a hard-working contributor to our culture, who does his job to the best of his ability and without complaining. He spreads good cheer among his co-workers, pays his taxes, and is always kind to children. He is, in general, an ideal member of society. The only thing even slightly unusual about him at all is how very good he is at maintaining his public face, much better than most of us. He fakes being a really good guy so well that he might as well be one. And if he slips away quietly to kill somebody from time to time, is that really such a bad thing?

Even when he is actually chopping up somebody, you may be sure the victim richly deserves it. Dexter is very thorough in his research, leaves nothing to chance, and always selects someone that we can all agree is better off permanently out of the picture. And as a bonus, Dexter is, in his own words, “an extremely neat monster.” He cleans up very carefully, so there is never a trace left of anything gooey or awful. No runaway fingers left lying about, no sticky red spots remaining on the carpet. Everything cleaned up and tossed away in a professional and environmentally-friendly manner, and nothing left behind except a rap sheet.

All these careful habits apply to his make-believe life as a human being, too. His girlfriend and her two children really like him. His co-workers do, too, only partly because he brings in doughnuts to share.

It is true that all the positive aspects of his character are synthetic, artfully managed to keep him at large and make him look innocent. But this is behaviour of which we are all guilty. A single moment spent in a business meeting or at a pub is more than enough to reveal the basic human truth that we are all faking it most of the time. We congratulate a rival on a triumph when actually we are choking on spite. We are cordial and attentive to crashing bores. We smile at people when we secretly wish them dead. Inside we are all monsters, but we pretend otherwise.

And I do not say this is a bad thing. Pretending is the basis of civilised society, and it is sometimes necessary for all of us. Without it we are nothing more than a pack of snarling dogs. Dexter is simply pretending all the time – and he is a lot more honest about it, too.

We all pretend, we all hide things, so why not take the concept to an extreme? That is the basic idea for the character of Dexter. Pretend to be human, while quietly and carefully living out the life of a monster on the side. And that leads to one of the next questions that would have to figure prominently on my FAQ list, something I am asked almost as often: “You’re kind of a sick bastard, aren’t you?”

Maybe. But I’m pretending not to be.

She’s back. (Maddie sightings from fantasists)
It’s back. (The shit campervan)
That’s back. (The ‘NOW’ phrases)
He’s back (Brown takes all YOUR money)

No you didn’t spot Maddie. Unless you drew a spot on the Scary Picture. Just stop it.

It’s just like the old days. But where’s Diana?

That was on Wednesday, aka Fantasist Wednesday. But who is the bigger fantasist? Fayed? Or Diana? Only one way to find out…

Dexter starts next week on ITV. Yes, that channel 3 button where Harry Hill lives. It seems like years ago that Dexter (Version TV) started and now regular telly viewers can see it too. Lucky people.

So what did I do on my day off? I finished reading The Hood by Brian K Vaughan (as very good as expected), I listened to the newest Doctor 8.0 Big Finish CD (a mostly unamusing Top Gear In Space style thing), got some new clothes and ironed them (well you know how things arrive in the post), watched two episodes of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (still silly ridiculous but still fun, with big orange school buses covering up the parts of the exterior sets that don’t look like John and Pinochiette’s School For Twentysomethings, and guest starring Penny From Lost, Dennis From 30 Rock and David Silver From Beverly Hills 90210), the latest Nip/Tuck (where almost everybody hurts, due to car crashes, stabbings and shootings), a new Brothers And Sisters (my guilty pleasure, this week featuring Keith ‘Veronica Mars’ Mars as a middle-aged friendly gay) , a new Skins that was once again rather great (and featured Sam Sparro’s Black And Gold music on a trailer. How wonderfully obscure) and some of the usual shit.

Meh. Who thought getting Duncan From Blue to do ‘acting’ would be a good idea?

Now it’s time to go to work.

In a bonus blog (more than your recommended daily allowance of one blog) here is some of the usual shite that should have been featured had I not done just the music lists. Nothing interesting as I have mostly been eating fudge, biscuits and fruit while watching my endless Shield DVDs. Yummy!

Good news, telly geeks! ITV1 are showing Dexter from January (that’s very soon. Yikes!) and ITV2 have Pushing Daisies from March. ITV having great shows? Two of my favourite shows? Whatever next?

Bad news, comic geeks:

The Magical Reboot Button has (sort of) been pressed over in Spider-Man land. Editorially-driven plot overhauls are a bad idea, especially when written so bloody awfully… *spoler alert* So in order for Aunt May (who must be 100 by now) to survive her ‘fatal’ shooting Peter makes a deal with the devil to have his marriage to Maty Jane belong in the ‘it didn’t ever happen at all actually’ category? And nobody remembers that he is Spider-Man? And Harry isn’t really dead any more? Oh dear. What a crock of spider shit. I shall stick with the Ultimate version from now on.

In other comics thangs…

Angel issue 5 does the inevitable tribute cover. Now where have I seen that layout before?

More reasons why I cannot stand Liz Jones, as if I needed any. This week she has mostly been moaning about how she has left that horrid London for the countryside but doesn’t like to show off. On her London past: “I went to Boy George’s birthday party at the Camden Palace where a member of Spandau Ballet tried to pick me up, sat through Marx Brothers nights at the Scala in King’s Cross, and hung out with Adam Ant… I survived the riots in Brixton – the only London area I could afford to live in – and was touched when my parents sent a food parcel. London was the centre of the universe and I looked down on people forced to live elsewhere.” How reassuringly charming of her.

On her London home what she has now gone done sold for a packet: “Georgian townhouse in an Islington square with Dido as a neighbour, mid-20th Century furniture, an Art House cinema round the corner, thrice-weekly meals in fancy organic restaurants.” Are we meant to be jealous? One of the reasons she left the capital: “Meeting a friend for dinner meant you had to spend £70 a head for a bit of flatbread and houmous and endure the waiter endlessly looking at his watch, wanting his table back.” I don’t know of this version of London. Maybe it is for the special people with more money than sense.

On how her social life transformed when she went all rural: “I now talk to so many people who drop in that in the first few days of moving here I lost my voice.” Hurrah! But unfortunately for us she could still type her verbal diarrhoea. On not showing off at all about her relocation: “I was able to buy my enormous, if completely unmodernised farm for less than the price of my London house with its hankie-size garden and, as a writer, I can work from home.” But she is a writer! Why does she need to buy a farm, if not just for something to show off about? “The average wage in Exmoor is £17,000, while houses in the National Park have risen by a third in three years; no wonder so many young people have had to leave or resort to taking drugs because there is nothing much to do. I understand the resentment towards rich urbanites such as me, who swan in and start remodelling the ancient barn as a minimalist screening room (if I can ever get dozy old West Somerset council to green-light my planning permission). But at least I am employing local people (dozens: holistic farriers, equine chiropractors, vets, plumbers, a gardener), shopping locally and looking after the land.”

Oh such a modern Mother Theresa, giving them poor yokels work. Yes, Liz Jones. And they don’t really all talk about you behind your back, you poor deluded self-obsessed thing.

My New Year Resolution, if I had one, would be to become just like my icon Liz, and spend my days writing articles about how wonderfully generous I am yet all the men in my life are mean horrible creatures for no good reason, and not at all because I moan on and on about them in the national press every bloody day until they leave me. Oh no. Then I shall complain about being told off by the police several times in a small time frame for repeatedly breaking the law, have a silly strop about how this country is prejudiced against the white middle classes (boo hoo), move to the countryside and be horribly vulgar and shallow. Excellent!

Well it’s either that or make a fansite for Melanie Phillips.

Today is Sunday is a day of rest. Not because of any imaginary supernatural beings or that kind of thing but because I’m bloody tired. I watched episode 5 of Meadowlands and the trailer for episode 6 sort of explains why it has been re-named Cape Wrath in the UK. Still a stoopid thing to do, but it’s getting better.

I thought I was being cunning when I watched the pre-air of Dexter series 2 episode 1 but then I found out that it isn’t due to be shown on (American) telly until 30th September. I have a very very long wait for episode 2. Bah! Dexter lost his mojo after the shocking climax of season 1 and has to resort to excessive amounts of bowling to get his kicks. Deb is over-exercising to cope with the shocking climax of season 1 and Rita has a nasty surprise. Yes, Dexter is back. And it’s still my current favourite thing that I am watching at the moment. Am I a weirdo to laugh at Dexter’s kerfuffles when his intended victim is too tall and heavy to move easily? No, I think we’re meant to find it amusing. Freaks!

Weirdest thing I saw today: A pushchair outside a house down the road with a cat sitting in it like a furry stripey baby with better cunning. And another cat sat on the grouns next to it, guarding it like a stern pussycat mother. Those kerayzy felines, eh?

There are loads of gay things on Channel 4 this week. I shall pass on most of them as I am feeling rather post-gay these days but the film written by Kevin Elyot that’s on tonight should be good as he knows how to write and it has proper actors who have done films and plays and everyfink. Although it looks like it might disturb me. As most things do these days…

Today was mostly like that ‘control P print’ Eddie Izzard sketch. Bloody technology fails me and I have the computer death touch apparently. It’s a wonder I ever get any of these nonsensical blogs published.

On the way home I saw an old woman pick up a poo. Her dog had curled one out on the path and she got out her plastic scoopy bag thing and grabbed it like a chav in a fake tan sale. It was quite weird to watch although i approve of her responsible attitude towards pet faeces. Then I heard then saw a car that looked like a trainer on wheels. Oh these local chavs and their ‘pimping’ techniques. If your ‘wheelz’ sounds like it has the completely wrong engine in and the hippity hoppity music has to be on so loud to drown the engine noise surely this is not healhty? Then to dress the car up like an Adidas shoe is surely a sign of inbreeding somehow.

One day to go now…

A Harold Pinter queue, today, in London. Not outside my bookshop. Bloody hell!

Spike is in Torchwood. Playing a naughty psychopath allegedly. Again. Oh well. I bet Cap’n Barrowman’ll well try to gay him up.

(Channel) Five have just announced that they have bought 30 Rock. About time. And look! The Emmy nominations are out and about. 30 Rock (with both Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin getting a mention in their categories too) and The Office (Gervais-free edition) have been nominated in Outstanding Comedy Series and damn funny they are too. BSG didn’t get a mention in Outstanding Drama Series (meh) but it got nominated for Outstanding Direction For A Drama Series, Outstanding Writing For A Drama Series, visual effects and some sound editing stuff. Dexter got nominated for its theme tune and its title sequence. Stoopid Yanks!

There’s a new series of Dexter coming and I have a preview of episode 1 to watch when I get past Harold Pinter Mayhem Day. Seeing as I live in a bookshop, I can reveal that the third Dexter book is coming out in September. Or the end of July if you believe Amazon. I am in two minds as to whether I want to read it as I love the surprises the telly show gives me. I’ll buy it, of course. Because I’m worth it.