Archive for the ‘Gays!’ Category

More of the same Part 2 (but no Torchwood spoilers)

Monday, July 27th, 2009


Item! Bleeding obvious from the picture but this is Miles Fisher:
Miles
My friend Ben Baker (comedy and pop pimp extraordinaire) pointed him out to me and I must say oh yes rather good etc etc even if the song I like best from his free to donwnload from his website EP is a cover. It has a very good video too.

With boobs.

Item! The Angel comic may well be redeemed with the news that one of my favourite comics people aka Bill ‘Fables’ Willingham is taking over the writing.
Angel
“The last thing we’ve found out is that Angel is now known in LA as a vampire and he’s famous. So we’ll see what happens when you’re a hero who’s suddenly so famous that, wherever he goes a crowd develops because he’s famous, but then they start getting panicky because, doesn’t he fight demons wherever he goes?”
Dru
That Drusilla Vampiric Look is out soon too, as part of the ongoing series. Co-written by the woman also known as Juliet Landau.

Item! Variety article makes me go “ooh”: Watchmen producer Lloyd Levin has acquired screen rights to Echo, a comicbook series by Terry Moore. Deal was six figures. Echo tells the story of a photographer who is preoccupied with her personal problems until she gets doused by liquid metal from a military experiment gone awry. She discovers she can now harness the power of a nuclear bomb, and soon the military wants its walking weapon.

Terry Moore is bloody great and also created this…
SIP
…which should really have been an HBO series by now.

Item! I love a bit of literary culture, what with working in publishing and shit:
Codshit
Phwoar. I do love a nice natural pretty well-mannered lady writer…

… I believe this is far more accurate.

Item! Codshit ‘Journalism’ Award of the week goes to the Daily Mail again:
Attitude
Harry Potter boy in exclusive “revealing of big secret” to gaymosexual mag? What could it be? Surely not…?

Nah. It’s this shocker: “I rather like Nick Clegg. At the next election I will almost certainly vote Lib Dem. If all the people who liked them voted for them you could change politics overnight and we could have a proper three party system.”

*Gasp*

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I am not Heather Small

Saturday, July 4th, 2009


To celebrate Gay Considering It Merely One Facet Of My Personality day in London I present a round-up of The Gay Problem courtesy of the last week of Daily Mail news. They’re the reason you nearly got knocked down by an angry man dressed in a Wonder Woman costume on roller skates and dontchoo go forgettin’ it…

Exhibit A:
girls!
Yes folks, that grotty child-snatcher and her befuddled lipsynching babysitter could make your middle class daughters go lezzy. But only if they are middle class because that’s the setting on the lesbian kiss ray they use. Phew. Middle class middle class middle middle middle class, er…

Olivia and Lara had their first kiss at their friend Clara’s 15th birthday party. That is, they first kissed each other then. They’d both kissed boys before, and they will do so again, because neither girl considers herself a lesbian. But after a couple of drinks, they thought it would be fun to see how it felt to kiss each other. Both girls come from smart homes with professional parents, are well-spoken and attend a well-respected Inner London day school.

Gasp!

So while there is a generation of young female celebrities trying to shock us (or garner media attention) by sending a message that girls can like girls, and then boys, and then girls again, what’s really disturbing is that this trend is being emulated by many of today’s teenagers… *sniiip!*

Exhibit B:
David Cameron has issued an extraordinary apology on behalf of the Conservative Party for legislation banning the promotion of homosexuality in schools. He said the party had ‘got it wrong’ when it introduced Section 28 in the late 1980s.

Bloody hell, opposition party in Wanting Votes shocker! I wonder how this will do down with the Maily Wailers?

The Conservatives just lost my vote. Pandering to any special interest group is no way to lead a country.
- John, St Albans, 2/7/2009 1:26 Rating 439


Just for that? How very …er… fucking pathetic.

Sorry Mr Cameron you are wrong, Gay or homosexuality should not be promoted in schools.
- hjarta, falkirk stirlingshire, 2/7/2009 1:09 Rating 983


Neither Gay or homosexuality? What about basic poovery?

School children whilst growing do not require the burden of further ‘gender alignment’ by gay rights groups. By all means spread your ‘word’, but certainly not in the classroom, in this predominant heterosexual and Christian Society.
- shergars ghost, London UK, 2/7/2009 0:24 Rating 363

Cue the stock images folder being raided again when searching for a photo to illustrate civil partnerships:
marriage
That looks just like the one I had!

Exhibit C:
Platell
Mand’s got her kickers in a twist again and her usual format of ‘Attack, “I’m nice, me” , “I got poofy mates” , Illogical conclusion’ is becoming extremely tiresome:

Attack: Judging by the behaviour of Gordon Brown and David Cameron this week, I wonder if the pair of them believe that Sacha Baron Cohen’s gloriously camp new comedy ‘Bruno’ is a serious factual documentary. How else to explain their unedifying efforts to outdo each other in courting the pink vote?
First it was Cameron, hosting a high-profile reception for gay and lesbian Tory candidates on Tuesday night, at which he formally – and gratuitously – apologised for Section 28 – the legislation introduced by Margaret Thatcher’s regime to ban the promotion of homosexuality in schools. Not to be outdone, Gordon Brown was soon signalling his support for the Gay Pride march by telling campaigners that ‘you can’t legislate love’ and boasting about the Labour Party’s gayfriendly policies. His wife is even expected to join the Gay Pride parade today
.

“I’m nice, me”: Now let me be unequivocal I believe in a fair and tolerant society in which everyone – regardless of their sexuality – is treated with dignity and equality.

“I got poofy mates”: I have always supported acceptance of different lifestyles and, as regular readers may recall, I am fortunate enough to count among my closest friends a good number of gay men whom I love almost as brothers.

Illogical conclusion: Besides, what does it say about our leaders’ priorities when they’re so desperate to flaunt their gay credentials, yet have so little to say to the 16.5million hard-working middle-England families worst hit by this Government’s criminal mismanagement of the economy.

Meh. She also had this other little piece in the same column:

Dawn’s porky pies
I’m a huge fan of Dawn French, but have often wondered how she can live with herself being so obese. Yesterday, she gave us an answer. She says she has ‘body blindness’, a condition that stops her from seeing herself as she truly is. Nothing to do with eating armfuls of Terry’s Chocolate Orange, then.


comments

I think my sarcasm about Dawn’s size confused the commenters who vehemently disagreed with the previous commenter about gay people being members of families. I of course was made in a laboratory like all of the gaylord species. Also of note: the moderators edited my comment… comment is not free on some newspaper sites.

Happy Pride if that’s your kind of thing. My Pride is to get on with my life as honestly as possible and bore the homophobes into submission with our happy gay married life(style) and “I’m as normal as anyone” flippancy.

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I’m not retarded but…

Monday, May 18th, 2009


Oh what a load of cockin’ arse (missus) …
Slurrrr
Someone in a guide to adoption refers to people who are against gay adoption as “retarded homophobes” so the Daily Wail takes offence and calls then “Nazis.” Then the nazis pulled the retarded homophobes’ hair and made a rude joke about their mum. Cue Richard Littlejohn with his crowd-pleasing (retarded is an offensive term but…) ’satirez’:

We’ve become used to the tiresome bigotry of homosexual fundamentalists smearing anyone remotely opposed to even the wilder excesses of the gay ‘lifestyle’. But the accusation of mental handicap is relatively recent. It marks a new low in the nastiness of what was once a perfectly respectable cause.

Littlejohn has a short memory. Who was it that called Gordon Brown a retard recently? Gordon was up against Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em, on UK Gold. If you want to see some accident-prone retard, 30 years out of date, stumbling from one fiasco to another, Frank Spencer wins hands down. Like the man ‘hilariously’ says every bloody week, you couldn’t make it up.

It’s bad enough that the adoption service has become an instrument of social engineering, obsessed with furthering the new state religion of ‘diversity’. Time and again we read of children being taken away from their families and handed over to gay couples. Why the hell are we bankrolling these fanatical cultural fascists? The next Tory government should immediately stop funding these spiteful gay rights activists and outlaw adoption by same-sex couples.

How many cases have there been exactly? I can only think of the one where the grandparents were turned down and the children (who had been in care for quite some time) were ‘handed over’ to a gay couple. Cue grandparent rebranding, cue the usual suspects, cue the music…

I love the new ‘mark it good or bad’ system where Mail readers can agree or disagree with the comments left on the stories. Take this example:
101
Minus 21 from someone who was actually in care themselves expressing their own opinion. What clever Mail readers and their “I reckon” opinions.
125
Tony from Bushey is obviously wrong because he only knows someone with gay parents and didn’t get told what to think by a man who lives in a big house in a gated community in Florida where he gets paid a fortune to churn out shit about how bad this country is.

Amanda Platell got upset later in the week because some nasty gays didn’t like the endless shit-flinging in her columns. She can give it but she obviously cannot take it (no bum fun pun intended):

I was subjected to a vile and filthy campaign of personal abuse from the gay media. In one online forum, a contributor suggested the only reason I held such views was that I obviously ‘wasn’t getting enough’.

It wasn’t me, honest. I just questioned her qualifications for preaching about marriage and parenting when she is a childless spinster.

I know it may seem a cliche to state that ’some of my best friends are gay’. But in this instance, it just happens to be true.

Uh-oh I can see where this is going…

My best friend, whom I regard as a brother, is gay and a high-profile advocate for gay rights. Several of my close friends have had same-sex civil partnerships. I have lost two dear friends to Aids. I don’t have a homophobic bone in my body. I just happen to believe that vulnerable children face the best possible life-chances when they are adopted by married heterosexual couples – a view backed by an increasing weight of academic evidence*snip!*

I think that’s quite enough of that sort of thing now. What about the readers’ comments?

no opinion but
That’s an awfully big opinion for someone who says they have no opinion. Also: Is it retarded to not know how to turn the CAPS LOCK off?

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A Tale of Two Alans

Sunday, March 15th, 2009


I have got so used to micro-blogging on Twitter that stringing actual paragraphs together for the blog and Facebook (Nu-Nu-Facebook?) requires actual brain power these days. Inbetween sales conferences, bookshop stockchecks, horrible bus journeys, rubbish comedy for charity and too much Red Riding I managed to find some geeky stuff to waffle about…

Oh Yes, the new Pet Shop Boys album is looking good. Well the sampler I acquired is rather great so I have high hopes. No Mike Leighs were harmed in this record and The Way It Used To Be is one of their best songs.


Attack of the Cybermen is out on DVD! It’s been a long time since I last saw it and it has some good ideas but goes horribly off the rails. The new aliens are bloody awful, I cannot embrace the 80s emotional “Excellent!” Cybermen, but it has some good (but ultimately pointless) guest stars and Telos was just down the road from where we had our wedding reception. Best bit: When Ian Levine claims that contrary to popular belief he actually wrote the story.

Stop! Alans time!
Alan M
The Daily Mail make a load of fuss and nonsense about Alan Moore while Alan Carr makes me want to stab my eyes and ears out as usual:
Alan C
Carr is the poofter of choice for Star and Sun readers who find queers funny but wouldn’t want them near the kiddies.

Hurrah for Fridays on the Mail moderation boards:
friday
There’s definitely a method in getting comments published. 50% mock-bumlicking, 50% sarcasm. Folls them every time.

Still not seen the Watchmen film but this helped pass a small amount of time:

Alan might like it.

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Snow business like not being in show business

Monday, February 2nd, 2009


You might have noticed that is has snowed. A lot. Which is different, interesting, etc. Also: Annoying if you have to go to work and cannot. But hurrah for Working From Home on the world’s slowest remote access which I believe might actually be powered by tiny mice. With asthma.

Obligatory snow photo, using my fancy new camera’s ‘Snow’ setting:
snow outside
Without ‘Snow’ setting it is a little bit blue. No, not in that way.
Dalek
Brrr! I fancy a nice cup of coffee…

coffee
Oh bugger. Science story in The World’s Greatest Newspaper says no!

Talk About The Passion Singles Club episode 2 is up and I enjoyed taking part, again, but I think I ruined it by sharing the anti-LOLz of this photo of Alan Carr blacked up to be the world’s poofiest Barack Obama impression, ever:

Carrobama
Does not compute! Delete!

Now if Alan wants lessons on how to be rather poofy in a comedy stylee then he is in luck as a certain DVD is released on 16th March:

little bit poofy
Now this is more like it!

With Miriam Margolyes AND Michael Sheard alongside John Inman and Rula Lenska? How can I resist? I could cry tears of laughter / horror / shame…
cry
Is Barack Obama the new Tiny Tears? What?

Mail readers have final say on the cold weather:
climate
Don’t smell the coffee! You’ll see dead people! Read the science!

Bonus excellent trailer:

Now THAT is how to edit a Hartnell story (or two in this case) for maximum excitingness!

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Racist logic loop outrage over BBC’s Brand (the other one)!

Sunday, February 1st, 2009


I wasn’t going to do another Daily Maily blog for at least a week but I couldn’t help myself with this:
brand
Their readers are thoroughly bored with all the Ross bashing now so they’ve managed to beat that little storm in a tea cup with the new ’scandal’ which makes all other examples of fine journalism pale into insignificance:

The remarks by Jo Brand concerned the leaking of the British National Party’s membership list. Brand, 51 – who is a staunch Labour Party supporter – joked that as a result of the list becoming public knowledge on the internet, she now knew the addresses where to send the ‘poo’ through the post.

“Poo”? Oh no. That’s not very sporting, is it? I bet she’s that ‘orrible Russell Brand’s mum.

The details of almost 13,000 BNP members were leaked last November – including those of teachers, solicitors, church ministers and even a doctor and a serving policeman. Their names, addresses and phone numbers were published, exposing many to the risk of vilification, disciplinary action and dismissal from their jobs. Brand’s routine was a hit with the live audience, who laughed and cheered at her remarks. However, the joke, which was broadcast on the late-night BBC1 show from Hammersmith Apollo on January 16, offended members of the BNP.

That’ll never do. Can’t offend the people who make it their business to offend. It’s all getting terribly paradox-y.

The following day, Simon Darby, the BNP’s deputy leader, made an official complaint to Hammersmith police alleging that Brand’s comment had been an act of incitement to cause racial harassment.

When did ‘Racist’ become a race? Is it part of their ‘poor discriminated-against white male’ thing?

A police spokesman last night confirmed: ‘We have received a complaint and officers will be reviewing the programme to see if any offences have occurred.

So it’s just wasting police time? What about taxpayers’ money, eh, Mail readers?

Last night the BNP’s Simon Darby said: ‘The BNP is technically an ethnic group and, under Section 26 of the Race Relations Act, we would suggest there are grounds that an offence of incitement to commit racial harassment has been committed.’

Irony overload explosion in my brain. Is this a spoof? Do the BNP actually believe that they are “technically an ethnic group”? I suppose if they were all white but that would mean that they had to be racist to only allow white people to join and that would bring the alleged racism full circle and…

A BBC spokesman said last night: ‘We do not comment on police matters. However, we believe the audience would have understood the satirical nature of the remarks.’

Well they obviously, to quote a silly man, misunderestimated some of their more knuckle-dragging audience. Damn you, biased ZaNuLieBore Broadcasting Corporation. It is not a joke. Racial harrassment against racist harrassers is a very serious offence. Even when clearly a bit of televised satire.

1
Calling Jo Brand a fascist for disapproving of fascism is particularly amusing. That kind of thing may be ok in Croydon but not round these parts, mizz… Bring on the red thumbs down for any sensible comments, yawn, etc… and Owen appears to have replaced his blood with racist vemon, which is at least an interesting science story waiting to be told.

2
Jerry: the nasty people who vote up all the racist comments do not like it when someone calls them racist. Haven’t you learnt? Nice try though.

Moving on…
recycle poll
recycled comment
And that is all you need to know on that subject.

Meanwhile, some Saturday highlights:
31 jan
So, the Gay Adoption ZOMG saga continues with some sensible and non-emotive (and “I reckon”ed words) in a piece where they have given the children names (not their own) to add to the imagined circumstances:

The graffiti-scarred concrete block, of the kind still common in Eastern Europe, is where the social services department is based, and as a metaphor for what was about to happen, these soulless surroundings are apt.

What?

It was Mrs Rush — who has two children herself by different fathers — who contacted them again. She had some ‘good’ news. They had found a new home for Stewart and Fiona. They were to be placed with a ‘male couple’.

Two children by different fathers? She has no right being around normal people’s kids!

The children’s grandmother burst into tears. Their grandfather was furious… The family are not homophobic; they have a number of gay friends. But if believing that children are best raised by a mother and father living together constitutes homophobia, most people probably are.


How simple it all is. the Mail found a woman who used to work in Social Services (now known as The SS for heightened drama) and asked her what she reckoned:

“Political correctness is a big issue in local government, especially in social work. I am not aware of any official quota system, say, to ensure a percentage of adopted children go to gay parents. But if you ask me, could it be happening informally in certain areas that like to be seen as progressive — and that usually means the big urban authorities? Then, yes, I believe it is more than possible.”

Case closed!

More scandal:
Tranny Invasion
Crikey!
Fabuliss – ‘where boys are girls’, as the group literature chooses to phrase it – has been hiring the Hampshire parish’s community centre after advertising cabaret nights, fashion shows, dressing-up sessions and girly deportment classes. On selected evenings for the past few months, lavishly-dressed figures have been seen emerging gingerly from expensive cars or click-clacking in stiletto heels across the nearby Sainsbury’s car park to join like minded ‘TVs’ in the Millennium Hall. While St John Ambulance cadets meet in one part of the building, Fabuliss occupies a private room in the other. But suspicions were raised after one local resident noticed that many of the ladies seemed to be uncommonly tall, and speaking in rather deep voices.

Did they have rather large hands too?

Now Bramshott and Liphook parish council, which is responsible for the hall, is facing a simmering rebellion from those who prefer to accommodate more traditional meetings, currently including a bridge club, amateur dramatic society, Pilates nights and Age Concern events.

The ‘rebellion’ appears to only be in the minds of the Mail though.

All harmless fun? Probably so. But what has concerned some locals is that both are pictured cosying up to Alison Dale, a 6ft 2in ‘pre- op transsexual’ whose own website (‘the home of hardcore transsexual porn’) raises the startling question that there could be far more to this TV malarkey than Fabuliss’s ’strictly non-sexual’ burlesque and beauty nights.

Neither Miss nor Mr Dale (her website poses leave no doubt that she is both) has ever attended a Liphook meeting – Fabuliss was merely planning to invite her to judge a beauty contest.

So that was the red herring to get the readers all hot under the collar then? Bravo! But what about these outraged locals? Surely you can find some?

“Parents were dropping their children off for a Scout meeting when these people started tottering out of their Mercs and BMWs in wigs and make-up. I can’t imagine what they were doing inside, but at one point, one of the walls seems to have been covered in a display of flouncy dresses and frilly knickers.’”

Burn the witches!

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Still in ur Dailymail, still stealing yr Grandkidz

Friday, January 30th, 2009


Blah blah blah…
Mail
Such positivity warms my dirty gay cockles. People who have actually been through the adoption process obviously know nuffink in Mail World. Bring on the red arrows!

The secret circumstances behind the Gay Adoptiongate case continue to be “I reckon”ed by Mail readers who wouldn’t give a damn about these kids whose grandparents who were turned down for adoption for unspecified reasons if they weren’t being given to ‘The Gays’ who obviously were not vetted whatsoever and just turned up at Social Services shouting “Want kidz now!” or something before they were “handed over”. How bleedin’ tiresome, and now unsurprisingly that Littlejohn has rehashed it from his big house in Florida to stir the “silent majority” up all over again…
littleturd
Hmm, he uses a nice analogy by starting off describing an imaginary case of child-kidnapping by paedophile which is too tedious to repeat here and then…

Meanwhile, in Edinburgh, a five-year-old boy and his four-year-old sister are snatched from their grandparents and given to a gay couple and there’s barely a peep outside the pages of the Daily Mail. No police appeals, no Panorama special, no public outcry. Why? Because they’ve been taken by social workers, not paedophiles. So that’s all right, then.

What? This makes no sense as an attempt at journalism! Making a point by comparing a real situation to one you just made up? What?

The crux of his piece is that the potential adoptive parents are selfish. Let’s see why…

We don’t know anything about them — how old they are, how long they’ve been together, whether they’ve got any medical conditions. What makes them better prospective parents than any other heterosexual couples on the list? More to the point, what kind of selfish individuals would even consider acceptingfor adoption children who don’t want to be adopted and who would rather live with their own natural grandparents, who are perfectly willing and able to offer them a loving home? If they had a shred of decency they would tell Edinburgh social services: thanks, but no thanks.

So they should give their place in the ‘queue’ to heterosexuals? Why? I imagine they have been on a waiting list for some time after lots of background checking so why would they just say “nah, sod it, I hate kids now”?

As for anonymity, does anyone really think that two gay men, living together in an Edinburgh suburb, who suddenly start playing Happy Families with a five-year-old boy and a four-year-old girl, are going to go unnoticed?

Hunt them down and get the burning crosses out?

Coincidentally, this story emerged in the week in which details were revealed of the millions spent in the search for little Maddie McCann, who was abducted almost two years ago and is still missing. On the face of it, the cases have nothing in common.

Hurrah, he is correct about something. But it continues:

But stolen children are at the heart of both.

How? The ones we are talking about have not been stolen.

Does it matter whether your child or grandchild has been taken by a complete stranger or by social workers?

Quite a bit actually.

What’s worse: not knowing, or knowing — and being utterly unable to do anything to get them back, after being told that if you try, you will never, ever see them again? In each case, the key question is the same: what kind of monsters could do something like this?

Are the “monsters” the social workers or the evil gays who want to give a home to the poor kids? Who bloody knows how his mind works?

Some stunning Mail Reader Logic in the comments:

craft
BJM should remove his/her tongue from a certain columnist’s botty and learn how platonic male heterosexual flatmates differ from two men in a relationship. Or maybe ignorance would be bliss.

thumbs down
Hurrah for James from Cardiff, with his evil logic. Red thumbs indeed.

Singapore
That’s why I don’t have any interest in visiting Singapore. Clifford lives there.

Lock ‘em all up!

threatening
David Hawk (is he a crime fighter by night?) sounds like he is being rather threatening from his New Zealand home, where he knows all about the British family court case.

silent
Bloody Stalinist Nazis have given this an enormous amount of red thumbs down. Commie scum!

inclined
Kay really needs to discover punctuation as well as some manners.

Time for an abnormal cup of tea with my abnormal husband I think.

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Not even one wise man this Christmas

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008


Shocking news today as The Pope says something like the gays doing gay things as as dangerous to the world as the destruction of the rain forests. Or something. I lost interest as it was balls…

Pope1
Pope2

Never mind the gays, some straight people should never be allowed to do the naked fandango just in case they hit the target and create a puny human.

I wonder why Bluenote has “never jelled with homosexuals of either sex”? Unless jelling is some kind of new sexual manoeuvre. Where’s Ken Ford from The Joy of Sex book when you need him? Maybe it was his predeliction for the word “aberration” that prevented the jelling? Trying to resist Abba verb reference here…

Humanity needs a culling and I know just were to begin…

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Save the children!

Thursday, October 9th, 2008


Bloody hell, I’m busy. My ‘half day’ became a whole day and I had to force myself to log off the work machine by leaving a trail of cake crumbs from thre kitchen to the home office. No I don’t work at The Home Office. Anyway… I could waffle about the strange bus people like the randomly-timed-grins man who had a funny walk and a Daily Express or the disappearance of the teenager I named Chinese Yet Tall (one point for comedy reference identification) who used to get on every morning, or the unhilarity of the bus breaking down after only five minutes of the journey, leaving the road blocked and people getting all uppity but that would be boring. I could mention the nice old Polish lady from the 1980s Bakery in the village who gave me the advice of putting a cactus on my desk to absorb the electricity from my computer screen after I mentioned eye strain headaches. But I won’t. I could mention by brother having his 40th birthday and my sister finally leaving home to be a proper student (hurrah for student halls, she’ll love it) but I’ll just do more of the usual expected stuff, with comics to follow tomorrow…

Thom sent me a video clip that startled, amused and disturbed me in equal measures. From the ‘hit’ BBC show Duet Impossible where live modern singers ‘duet’ with dead old ones comes this

Which disobeys all the rules of the show. I love the arrogance and rubbishness of it, plus the expected banter and wonky hat.

Cover any small person’s eyes, it’s a man in a dress!
A childrens book
David Walliams has a children’s book out and people in the know whose opinions I value say it is a rather nice book. With Quentin Blake illustrations and everything! It’s about a boy who wears a dress and is called, unsurprisingly, The Boy In The Dress. I thought the Daily Mail would love it, especially when David posed in some dresses to ram it down their throats. Or something:

I find his behaviour and these pictures rather sickening to say the least. Is he supposed to be funny ???
- Jan, North Oxfordshire, 8/10/2008 13:22

Ugh. These pictures give me the creeps. And what are children going to think if they see them?
- Sarah, Belgium, 8/10/2008 9:40

It just looks so weird……
- Jacqui Weems, Southampton, 8/10/2008 11:34

A childrens book – wrong, wrong, wrong!
- Lynne, Durham, 8/10/2008 12:33

What if children see pictures of David in a dress? It’s promoting a fucking book for children, you imbecile! Yes, a children’s book! For children!

I had a great spam email the other day from a nice African chap. There are so many of them who have thought of convoluted schemes to give complete strangers money, I am like well impressed. The way he ended the email put him in a class of his own though:

Note I am a man of 49 years old, i’ll not lie to you, please do not do the same to me.

Yours truly,
Mr. Eric Igwe

He’s 49? Why didn’t he say that at the start?

Where’s all my money gone?

I do so enjoy Heroes, it’s like X-Men comics for the masses, you never know what bit is going to be homaged next. I liked talking about it on Facebook and I am a lazy git so here are some thoughts:

Dan liked the Veronica Mars moment in Heroes Unmasked. But they don’t wear masks! and Super Suresh is just wrong. All baby-oil Spider-Man wrong! 10:16pm
Weevil for sound
Dan Hollingsworth at 10:31pm
I liked that there were several moments where I thought that the writers had spent their strike time watching Hollyoaks.

Dan Hollingsworth at 10:54pm
It was good, in a Hollyoaks-with-powers way! Today’s Hollyoaks was actually more ridiculous than Heroes, wth the bending of time and space, spider-sense and super strength on show.

Dan Hollingsworth at 10:54pm
Why is that awful woman with the killer tears suddenly
A) Not a baddie
B) Glamorous
C) Very American
D) Sampling Super Mohinder’s special black todger tears?

Dan
I love Sylar’s special blend of sinister, eyebrow acting, vests and camp. But why do all future timeline version characters have scarred faces?

Tabloid crap time (again):
Stiff
At least nobody would be able to tell by looking at her.

eastbenders
Oh dear. It looks like the Grinning Eastenders Gay Man had a bit of a canoodle on Arfur’s bench and upset some people. I wonder if all the violence, murderings, paedophile grooming (that phrase always makes me think of My Little Pony for some reason) and abuse of the English language also got them upset?

Complaints pour into BBC after EastEnders screens gay kiss before the watershed
By Daily Mail Reporter

The BBC has been flooded with complaints after screening a gay kiss on EastEnders before the 9pm watershed.

The ‘offensive’ scenes were screened on Tuesday’s episode of the soap and showed Christian Clarke (John Partridge, 36) and Lee Thompson (Carl Ferguson, 27) engage in a passionate kiss.

One viewer wrote on the BBC’s Points Of View internet messageboard: ‘I am appalled by the display of homosexual kissing before the watershed shown on EastEnders.

‘This is disgraceful whilst young children are watching and sets the wrong example.’

Another, Pat, wrote: ‘I had to explain to my seven-year-old son what was happening. He now thinks he is gay because he kisses his dad.’

I hope Pat’s seven year old son who thinks he is gay because he kisses his dad gets taken into care if Pat cannot adequately explain the absurdity of the situation. I don’t think she has done very well so far. Not to mention letting a seven year old watch Eastenders. Surely something more appropriate like the lastest Saw film would have not had any gaiety?

The BBC statement read: ‘We approach our portrayal of homosexual relationships in the same way as we do heterosexual relationships. We believe that the general tone and content of EastEnders is now widely recognised. Parents can make an informed decision as to whether they want their children to watch.’

Whatever next? Not tattooing gay people’s bottoms with ‘Sodomy Kills’?

Mail readers mostly thought Pat was insane (phew) but there were a few of the usual suspects whose brains malfuctioned enough to prompt them to comment:

What’s the point of having a watershed then? Either move Eastenders to 9pm or don’t show scenes like these. I have a 12 year-old and I don’t let him watch Eastenders for this very reason.
- sarah, dorset, 9/10/2008 14:47

I just do not want to see this ever. Forget all the PC crap about it being ‘legal’. If the gay community is 10% of the whole, how come they are constanttly shoving it into our faces? Pensioners don’t and they are a much larger part of our community.
- Bob Baillie, Southampton, 9/10/2008 14:54

There are no pensioners on Eastenders of course, and what is this obsession with “shoving it in our faces”? If it’s not that it’ll be “ramming it down our throats.” Are they trying to tell us something? Actually, I’d rather not know.

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Holiday At Home: Day Three- Art

Thursday, May 8th, 2008


Day three of holiday@home involved going to London again and pottering about in The Tate. No, not Donna Noble, the other one. It was a bit rubbish actually, unless you like hordes of French students with bloody rucksacks and badly-behaved English kids wrestling each other to the ground in the cubism room. I had a lot of art history deja vu when looking at the funny pictures and was reminded why I really couldn’t be bothered with all the arty-fartiness of the olden days life. We took some pictures on the bridge previously known as the wobbly bridge but it was rather sunny so they were mostly squinty, except this one:
Jamie bridge
After that we went off to ye olde docklands to visit Peter and Jeremy in their swanky flat which is probably called an apartment these days.
Jamie balcony
The views included that bloody dome, city airport, the DLR and an enormous pile of junk, which sounds rubbish but it was very nice indeed. We had a barbecue (although mine was ovened as I am one of those funny vegetarians) and lots of posh squash, some rambles about the old days when we (me, Pete and Kate) were students with varying degrees of studiousness (in the 90s), a disagreement about Madonna’s status as anything other than a woman with mediocre talents and a good eye for marketing, and some more posh squash. Then we eventually went home, which took a while…

… We had to watch The Apprentice before going to be of course. It was nice to see the sneaky horrible Chin Bint get fired (although her Environmental Awareness greeting cards idea the other week was genuislike) and then Other Jenny went too, just in time fot the B*Witched reunion. Probably. Her lipstick scared me anyway, giving me Una Stubbs Aunt Sally flashbacks every week. Shame it wasn’t Michael “I am 100% arrogant” Sophocles too, with his random Jewishness that only appears when it suits the ‘plot’ and not when he has to know what a kosher chicken is. As a vegetarian non Jew I thought everyone knew about those things. Siralan wasn’t having any of that bloody nonsense but three “you’re fired!”s in one show would be a bit much.
Jennies
To tie these bloggy events together, I avoided Apprentice spoilers at the barbecue that afternoon when our friend Pete revealed that he had been filmed for a forthcoming episode involving the Apprentices attempting to convince people to hire expensive cars. Now that’s something I look forward to seeing, if he survives the edit. Stay tuned…

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