I love a Bank Holiday and I’m not even a bank… except when the poxy phone rings at 8:30 and it’s a ‘number witheld’ who then phones back five minutes later when you’ve got back into bed and it turns out they are waffling on about selling you windows because your husband didn’t tell them to piss orf the last time they called you. Bah. They then came round to look at the existing windows and one of them did a wee all over the toilet, which I discovered after they had left. No chance of Cannot Piss Properly windows company getting any of my hard-earned cash now, filthy buggers.

We went to That Pub Quiz last night where I voted (in my head only) a man named Rupert as Twat Of The Quiz. As if being named Rupert was not reason alone, he was with an unfeasibly large quiz entourage of mostly braying women who flattered his ego by laughing at his ‘hilarious’ ways which included singing along to hair rock anthems and talking very very loudly. Bonus points for all of them being filthy bastard smokers (I cannot wait until July when the sensible law begins) and we beat them at quizzing anyway. Pah! Third out of thirteen teams, winning chocolates that we don’t even need as we are swimming in chocolate. Not literally, although if they provided armbands I could cope with that.

I saw this and got scared:

Patrick Wolf! What were you thinking????

I am so glad that Life On Mars is finishing next week. I loved that show but it’s becoming Torchwood In Vests with smoking fags replacing insinuations of gaylien bum fun. And that cannot be good, can it?

Future telly potential bags of fun: David Cross (you know, Tobias from Arrested Development and other things) has been cast in a new pilot for CBS called I’m In Hell, described as follows: ‘highflying Wall Street player (Jason Biggs) who dies in a BlackBerry-related car crash and is reassigned to Hell on Earth where he must figure out a way to get by without his career and all the trappings of his former existence. Cross is set as Scott, a sharply dressed man who serves as an emissary from hell, while Erica Christensen will play a nanny, a potential love interest for Biggs’ character who also is in the Hell on Earth program.’ This could be very good or very shit. I don’t know as I cannot see the future. Yet.

Who wants to go see Menopause: The Musical at The Shaw Theatre with me? It stars Su Pollard from Hi-De-Hi and Sinitta’s Mum Miquel Brown! It’s where we saw David Mitchell last Sunday (not performing in that, it was another show) and all the staff had to wear Menopause t-shirts. They looked so pleased by this development. Anybody? No?

Phew!

I have just been informed that I may be spending several hours of my life watching Sue Perkins grilling Brian Blessed sometime at the end of this month. Damn my husband and his obsession for freebie BBC Radio tickets. But Brian Blessed? I have a strange admiration for the man and he was, of course, in Doctor Who that time…

Peri!!!! Nooooooooo! etc.

Easter Egg Update: We have eaten half of the massive egg. Other half and six Creme Eggs to follow. Very soon…

I could blog about David Beckham stealing Elton John’s ‘hair.’ But I won’t.

I could blog about the horrible popular chemist’s own brand cough medicine that tastes like liquorice from hell. But I won’t.

I could blog about that woman who tried to sue her landlord because she got drunk, climbed through a wondow and danced on a skylight that she then fell through. But I won’t.

I could blog about my quest for my very own nemesis. But I won’t.

I could blog about that Weakest Link that’s on tonight featuring the tin dog coming last and my shiny head in the background. But I won’t.

I could blog about the cheapo clothing company who sacked my friend for blogging about them and their unfortunate bad press due to 45 million UK and USA customers creditcard details being stolen by hackers. But I won’t.

I will blog about an excellent book that I have chosen as my Manager’s Book Of The Week even though that term does not really even exist. How can any sane person resist this marvellous item?

It’s both entertaining and educational. Learn how to stuff your beloved pets (once deceased of course) and make them more useful than just a regular rotting carcass. Wind chimes, coffee tables, jewellery, etc. Marvellous! A bargain at £4.99!

I will also blog about clicking here to get a free mp3 of Get Lost by Patrick Wolf which is pretty damn special.

I will blog about that new trailer for my favourite programme which appeared on the BBCi yesterday and then turned up on YooHooTube. New clips! Jess! Daleks! Gatiss! Pigs in space! Sir Derek! How bloody fantastic!

I need more cough mixture after watching that (for the fifth time).

What is The Magic Position? I would ask someone like Paul Daniels but I am frightened by what I may learn. It’s also the name of the third album by Patrick Wolf and it came out yesterday. It’s very hard to define as he’s a bit all over the place but in a very good way. If I had to be a lazy bastard writer I would say a male Tori Amos / Kate Bush with fiddling instead of pianoing but there’s also loads of synths and guitars too. Patrick Wolf is one of those annoyingly clever people who does everything himself and has produced his most coherent album yet. I found it a bit hard to get into his previous work and condensed them into one 80 minute playlist to make them more palatable to my listening mood but this CD has nothing I want to delete. It features brooding, piano and fireworks on Bluebells (a previous single), a manic song about love with a fair bit of strings and handclaps on The Magic Position and a similarly themed song with loads of what sound like retro computer game noises and percussion on Get Lost. In a way it’s mostly an album about falling in love… but then the love went wrong. Bah.

This isn’t the real cover but I prefer it to the real one as it might put people off with its wackiness. Wacky is rarely a good thing.

It’s all the bits and pieces for nerds that wouldn’t fit anywhere else…

In keeping with the geek rule of every comic-related film, Heroes (which is not actually a film but nevermind) has got a certain icon with impossible hair doing the obligatory cameo soon.

Did somebody mention Gwen Stacy?

Patrick Wolf is in The Guardian! He’s not got the right elements to become the next Mika, unfortunately, but it’s almost time for The Magic Position. Hopefully not the same one Paul Daniels does with The Lovely Debbie McGee though.

I watched the long-awaited new episode of Lost yesterday. It were alright but it’s as slow as Jade Goody on Countdown. More answers, more questions, more shouting at my computer. Much better and with no hype at all was Bones where Booth shoots an ice cream van clown and has to go see an English psychiatrist who talks about latin words and makes lots of tea and just happens to be played by that Stephen Fry. Meanwhile, the science geeks investigate the dude from Bill and Ted who wasn’t Keanu Reeves.

Either I’m getting good or 24 is getting lazy. I guessed the ‘shocking’ twists this week straight away. I am loving George from Six Feet Under as Jack’s old yet very tall father and Doctor Romano from ER as Jack’s shorter and balder brother.

Geek Monthly (yes, really) has a nice big interview with Joss Whedon. What more can I say?

Why is Dawn rather oversized? You’ll have to buy the comic. Soon.