The latest Google Analytics (the weird searches people use to get to my blog) results are particularly baffling. I have removed most of the usual ones from this tiny highlights list as it’s all tits and bums and willies plus a celebrity’s name…
unmarried to a bankrupt
I blame the recession for this one.
horse fucks my wife
You bad bad husband.
heart disease blog
Oh I hope not.
celebrity vag
So many to choose from.
wardrobe interview thong
What?
fucking big minges
Katona, I presume.
abbey titmus shame
Which particular shame?
rehab derek acorah
I think that would be a good idea.
cheryl baker in magazines
Is she? Not here she isn’t. No Eggs ‘n’ Baker Monthly to be seen.
joanna nearys magic hole
That could be a pervert who likes comedian ladies.
lois griffin naked
It’s a bloody cartoon you weird men!
lord lucan paedophile
Find him and burn him!
wet yourself before wanking
I have never ever mentioned that.
bladder burst wet myself
What’s this wee-wee obsession?
is ben whishaw gay
Oh not here too!
arlene phillips face cream
Is that about sex?
asymmetrical bob
Maybe they meant “boob.”
john inman dr who
Never! Although there are still the RTD specials…
is gene pitney bisexual
I know he is dead but was married with children if that helps.
probic vent
Son-Ta-Ra!
his todger was massive
Is this Barrowman again?
fanny fun
Naughty Welsh lesbians.
sheridan smith porn
Upgraded from just “tits” this time!
ianto jones tummy
Hmmm…
limahl is gay
Yeah I know.
janet fielding gay
No, she is Tegan.
sue perkins is excellent
I am sure she would be happy to hear that.
illegal lols archive
How bad would the LOLs have to be to have been deemed illegal?
ginger gay chav
Pass.
cornish pasty keyrings
Are they edible?
sneaky naturist
Damn those sneaky naturists!
badger costume adult
Is it for the Badger Parade?
michelle heaton wet herself
Was it just a little bit?
jona lewie gay
Is he? Well he is always in the kitchen at parties.
utube firestar ticklish
I would like to see that.
janet fielding in norwich
Via Tardis?
gillian taylforth snooker table
Taylforth also scored high is various nudey related searches as usual.
anthea turner wasp
A wasp with the face of Anthea?
transvestites in bridgend
I am sure there are.
sheridan smiths tits
Gotta have that, it’s our most popular search.
And now I have made it all worse by repeating those phrases… again.
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