Who would be the perfect person to front the new Asda ad campaign? A famous face who is known for being a down to earth working mother, who may have actually shopped in Asda and know the value of money? No. Sharon fuckin’ Osbourne, that’s who! Sharon the multi-millionairess. Sharon with the bizarre inhuman squawky voice. Sharon with the children who have revolving personal doors at the local rehab. Sharon the woman who has probably not been to a supermarket in the last 20 years and doesn’t know how to microwave a lasagne. That’s who!

The vile Daily Express had a particularly nasty piece about the navy ‘recruiting’ gay people. The usual loons were quoted, including Project76′s favourite unchristian Christian Dr Adrian Rogers who basically said that as gay people don’t have children (since when?) they had no place in serving and protecting their country. Aside from all the gay people who do have kids, what about the childless straight people? They should be made to resign? Hmm… Twat!

Luckily I discovered something nice on their website. I love being a noun! :

Date set for first ‘gay marriages’
Controversial new “gay marriages” will come into force in December.
Ministers said same-sex couples will be able to notify Register Offices of their intention to form a civil partnership from December 5. The first partnerships will therefore be in place by Christmas after the 15-day waiting period has passed. The Civil Partnership Act, which won Royal Assent last November, allows gays to sign an official document in front of the registrar and two witnesses. Registration will be available only to homosexuals and not as an alternative to heterosexual marriage. The partnerships will allow gays to benefit from a dead partner’s pension, grant next-of-kin rights in hospitals and exempt them from inheritance tax on a partner’s home. The Act does not use the term “gay marriage”, but the civil partnerships have clearly been designed to be as close to a marriage contract as possible.
Partners will even be able to dissolve the agreement in a form of divorce.
Deputy Minister for Women and Equality Jacqui Smith said: “I know how much this legislation means to a great many same-sex couples across the country who are eager to finally get legal recognition for their relationships. “This legislation is going to make a real difference to these couples and it demonstrates the Government’s commitment to equality and social justice.”

© Copyright Press Association Ltd 2005, All Rights Reserved

From an article in The Sunday Times comes this lovely snippet on style from Mr Walliams. And on that note I can sadly announce that Mr Dolce and Mr Gabbana are no longer bumchums. At least we still have Colin and Justin to make us feel slightly uncomfortable. I never knew D&G were gay or even men but then I tend to shop on the high street. Not JD Sports or Baron Jon or chav shops like that with ‘designer labels at discount prices.’ Anyway, here’s David …

“David Beckham — an icon of style? What?” scoffs David Walliams, comedian, actor, dark renaissance man and unlikely hero of our times. “I don’t buy it. He’s just a man who has a lot of new clothes. That isn’t style. Style is John Lydon or Quentin Crisp. It’s looking like someone extraordinary and standing out on your own. The Libertines’ Carl Barât. Andre 3000 in plus fours and a stripy shirt, with an afro. David Bowie in a canary-yellow suit. Gilbert and George. Pet Shop Boys projecting that look of the City gent and his rent boy. Morrissey inventing the cult of the man in vintage dinner jacket and jeans. Franz Ferdinand in Dior Homme. Tom Wolfe in a crisp white poplin suit. That’s style. Not opening parcels from Dolce & Gabbana.”

And here’s a picture of the new series of Doctor Who. Except it isn’t cos I am lying. It’s Mark Gatiss as The Doctor with David Walliams and Paul Putner from Little Britain as some very annoying aliens. And it was most amusing!

I am so behind on my DVD watching now. I know, what’s the world coming to? Another one appeared today when I had to get out of bed at half seven to sign for the Angel Series 5 Boxset. Mmmm…. niiice! If the postie was frightened by my pidgeon legs he didn’t let on. But as I couldn’t see and was squinting I doubt I would have noticed or cared. Luckily for me I have a week off soon so I shall be in geek heaven all day everyday except for our trip to Bath when I shall be amusing some very lucky children. Or maybe scaring them a little bit. I haven’t decided yet but I shall certainly buy them some books. And no sweets as they are either extremely hyper as it is or have no or little teeth.

Angel Series 5 is out now!

Michael Jackson can get a few days worth of sickies from his kiddie-fiddling trial with a bad cold so can I have a week off work if I have cobbles?

The plagiarism is sorted. I got an apology and the offending articles removed. Hurrah! Time for a nice cup of tea and a sit down. Again!

Today’s random celebrity picture is of cheating cokehead footie player Maradonna. He’s something of a slimfast dodger these days!

Little Britain Tourism is a site that has stolen a load of my work. The big graphics for my Little Britain character pages took ages to design and make and now this site has cut and pasted them to do pages of their own. Their other pages strangely have a lack of pictorial graphics, just simple text graphics. How lazy and dishonest! I actually quite liked their site until I realised that at least 3 of my pieces had been stolen. Boo hiss boo lazy dishonest people! And to make matters worse they link me on their main page as ‘highly recommended!’ Imitation may be the highest form of flattery but complete thieving of ideas is not.
e.g.

Shamelesly cut-n-pasted from The Guardian’s Guide Blog site comes this:

New York has A Night Of 1000 Stevies, a tribute to Fleetwood Mac’s great Ms Nicks. London now has A Night of 1000 Jay Astons, a lip-synched transvestite salute to the frisky one from Bucks Fizz (think hard, you’ll remember). The show covers all the landmarks of her stint with the 80s pop outfit: the rip-away skirts, the tour bus crash, the overdose, that time she went on Razzmatazz with a tape measure tied round her head.
Four Aston impersonators pout their way through chart-topping pap such as Land of Make Believe: two of them look like Kenny Everett in drag, one looks like Baby Jane. It’s mildly tasteless, but funny. The costumes are rara-tastic. The choreography looks like it could be disturbingly authentic. Creator Johnny Woo has obviously spent a terrifying amount of time watching old TOTP videos. Frankly, it’s amazing that anyone could be bothered…
It’s at the PS2 Cabaret Room at Bistrotheque, Wadeson St, E2, every Thursday at 9pm for the next two months …

Hurrah! The ranks of celebrity gays have been graced with a noooooo membah! Eastenders star Jake Maskall (yeah I know, it’s rubbish and I don’t watch it either) has told a celeb trash mag
“I’m gay and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 12 years. It’s not a secret. But my relationship is part of my private life and I hope everyone respects my privacy.” Cool! Exactly as it should be, no big drama and no shocked tabloids getting upset. And in an amusing reversal of the usual straight actors playing gay characters and going on about their girlfriends he says he doesn’t mind having love scenes with the ladies at all: “I love bedroom scenes, and I’ll happily give Nigel Harman a run for his money.” Hmmm… now there’s an interesting image!

And on that note, I spotted ex-Big Brother dreadful gay MarcoFromBigBrother5 today when he bought a book off me. Yes, I was shocked that he can read too!

OK I apologise for that remark, he was actually very polite and did not clap maniacally once. I would have called security if he’d done that anyway.

Cat Deeley has a certain Dickensonian look about her, don’t you think?