Big Brother has been going on for at least twenty seven weeks now. Today I decided to catch up with the house of horrors and watched a bit of telly. The spinoff show thing had a competition where three nerds wanted to become lookalikes of Eugene. Luckily they already had nasty teeth, an overbite and a monotonous dull tone. The dreadful Kemal was interviewed and met his own lookeylikey, who had better watch himself or he’ll be pounced on for a truly horrific doppelgangerry sexual encounter of some sorts. Kemal is the kind of gay who has spent a week in his bedroom with boxsets of ‘Absolutely Fabulous’, ‘Will And Grace’ and ‘Queer Eye For The Straight Guy’ and has created a whole persona around what he has watched. With a touch of Margarita Pracatan. Truly shocking! That dreadful Orlaith has walked out and got her rather firm unreal boobies out already. I am not surprised by this as the majority of women who go on this programme tend to do that sort of thing anyway. Hardly ‘girl power’ now is it?

Put ‘em away for God’s sake. Haven’t we suffered enough already?

The Rock Profile DVD is wonderful. I recommend everyone who likes comedy to rush out and buy it on Monday, as it has the comedy content from all the episodes plus some brilliant extras that I cannot watch again as the DVD player doesn’t like disc 2. The DVD drive on computer 1 is fucked and plays sound with green flickery shit so computer 2 entertained me for a while… except for the crashing every ten minutes problem. So far so good (ish) but now it will only play sound with a black picture and has lost all the screengrabs that were to illustrate this wonderful disc. I shall have to stare at the walls for the rest of the day. Computers must die!

Those lovely folks at Fluxbox have an exclusive live new Scissor Sisters track online. Nice!

Probably won’t be there for long, mind.

The stressed looking Asian man with the rucksack in your carriage of the tube is just that: A man with a bag in a crowded hot rubbish train. Calm down, people!

London means comics and off to Forbidden Planet I trotted. Worth working ‘Up West’ when you can nip to the cool shop after work. Damn you, evil chip-n-pin credit card! Officially poor this week with all the food and drink, coffee addiction, comics, graphic novels, magazines, shoes, trousers and bag. Loads of precious things cheers me up though so it’s worth it. And it’s payday so I can justify pretty much anything. Even two Teen Titans books from the 80′s. Totally retro!

Gotta love ‘The Ultimates’ from Marvel Comics…

Randomness:
Gwen Stefani is a brunette in her new video. For some reason this also makes her look much more convincing as a woman than the trashy platinum blond look she usually has. But I am still not convinced.

When is Will Young going to be the subject of a tabloid kiss and tell? Surely someone’s done him and wants to make a fast buck?

Why is James Blunt? Why why why why why?

And what is Meg White?

Today I have been mostly working on Little Britain page ideas …

I thought I had found a new mole but it turned out to be a bit of Belgian chocolate. Phew!

The day off away from working life ‘up west’ is a chance to do boring shit like all the washing, ironing, dusting, hoovering, cleaning of kitchen and bathroom and going to the local shop for local people for bread. And a Creme Egg. And a pack of Skittles. Mmm… and so to the telly…

Rubbish TV pilot of the week is ‘The Night Stalker’ which is a sort of remake of ‘Kolchak The Night Stalker’ from the olden days. It wasn’t very good and had a lot of cliches and such, with the usual ‘a bit creepy by being vague’ kind of style you get in mainstream American telly. Unlike the new series of ‘The Shield’ which added Glenn Close kicking some ass as the new Captain. Much better… and another new ‘Family Guy’ which is a feature lengthish special with plenty of inappropriate gags. Weird American animated comedy is always a hit with me.

And there’s today’s Chris Evans Photo Of The Day. Because I can.

One of these people is a twisted loon with terrible hair, and a serious personality disorder.

The other is Craig from Big Brother. Craig got upset with Anthony when he was compared to Myra Hindley and he wouldn’t let it lie. Something new to sulk about is never a bad thing for Craig, though. It’s not as if he has anything elsse to do all day.

Working a funny late shift today so doing internetty things in the morning when I would rather be getting extra sleepytime. As usual the papers are full of hysteria and scandal. Who really cares about if a rubbish actor who had an affair with his kids’ nanny’s ex-girlfriend has been kissing a new man? Not me. I want more new Doctor Who information… Meanwhile, in ‘Express Yourself Corner’ I feel certain tabloids are more bothered about ‘their taxpayers money’ funding Islamic Fundamentalists’ dolescum existence than the fact that there is a serious terror threat…

I would prefer ‘Bombers are all evil murdering loons’ myself. And weren’t most of the actual bombers born in this country anyway? Not that their nationality excuses what they did.

*Update* I don’t like the shoplifters no more! They are a different breed ‘up west’ but I did get to be ‘bad cop’ today which is always fun! … A rude woman rambled on on the tube about whether it went to Wembley Park or not, even though the display clearly stated that it did… she then fell asleep but unfortunately a nicer man than me prodded her just as it reached her desired destination. She then proceeded to drop her bag, travel card and a piece of paper as she slowwwwwly walked to the doors… and the damn thing waited for her. Damn! I love seeing people get jammed in the doors, how annoying to miss out. Still, I had a nerd and a German girl discussing German terms for homosexual to keep me unamused for the rest of the journey. No security alerts, though, which was nice.

No London Transport issues to report today so I had a pleasant journey in, although I was semi-asleep which helped. Nice quick efficient journey home too. Well done!

This is one of the attempted bombers from last week… How vile!
Fucking ugly cunt with a fat head. Tries to disguise the multitude of chins with a rubbish beard but that doesn’t work. Was wearing cheap nasty uber-flammable sportswear when trying to blow up a bus. I bet he has a terrible B.O problem and halitosis that could strip pine. Wannabe – murdering loon. Just fuck off and die, bitch!

Phew. I feel better now.

Working in London this week. Grrr. I got to observe the Londoners living the Spirit Of The Blitz or whatever they have been calling it. We Londoners are so ‘brave’ with our city under siege and at war with an unknown unseen enemy. Or some such cliche. I was so brave to get on the tube and go into the West End to work. Not that I had any other way of getting there and I had the choice of going to work or not having a job, not paying bills and the mortgage and so on. Bravery doesn’t come into it, the daily lives of Londoners have to go on as usual as that’s all there is…

… and right on cue, on the way home the Jubilee Line train I was on was stopped at St John’s Wood for ages (I gave up after 15 minutes and went back to Baker Street to try the kerfuffley alternative diversion route) and we were told it would stay there until further notice due to an ‘incident’ at Swiss Cottage (the next station) that the police had become involved in. Hope they didn’t blow away any more innocent people in coats… It’s getting a little bit too ’24′ for my liking. Need a change of subject…

Here’s a preview pic of Steve Seagle’s new comic for Vertigo : ‘American Virgin.’ A weird story about religion and sex! I know I’ll be spending my pennies on it, if it’s anything like previous Vertigo greats like ‘Preacher’ or ‘Y: The Last Man’ and stuff.