It’s back…soon. Thursday 17th November is the confirmed start date for the third and probably final series of Little Britain. On BBC bleeding 1, you know!

Weird evening… Harry Hill Senior did a dance to Franz Ferdinand on his zimmer frame then later did a bit of tap dancing, a hairdresser called Philomena from Milton Keynes played swingball with a glove puppet called Abu Hamster, Harry’s nan died again then a man from the audience dressed up as her, Giant Stoufer fought a badger and killed it, and then Harry’s son Gary from his first marriage who just happens to be a ventriloquist’s dummy was crowned the overall winner of inter-species swingball when he beat Stoufer who had beaten Abu Hamster.

Yes, we went to see Harry Hill in Milton Keynes. In a theatre, as he doesn’t live there. It was great.

Due to actually having some time to be self-indulgent for once, we have updated the website. The one attached to this blog. You know…
New! Dan’s self-indulgent page about himself!
New! Dan’s Life Coaching Fing!
Changed and updated! The Little Britain Shop!

What do these pictures mean? They mean… updates!

Podcasts. Some are good, some are bad. Some are ugly. An example? The Ben Baker Monday Fandango for instace. Every Monday from 9 at the above link. A strange northern man makes a mix of weird comedy, funny comedy, stupid comedy and a bit of gayness no doubt. And some silly music. And spoofs. And so much more. I keep forgetting to actually listen to it every week and will miss it again this week as I am seeing Harry Hill in Milton Keynes. I catch bits of it on mp3 though if that helps, such as the ESure Mouse Chatshow and the Aphex Twin Christmas Greatest Hits advert…
Sample quote:
“Join Paul Gannon and fiends as he celebrates his last day on earth and promises to go out with a bang. Or at the very least a quick tongue sandwich from a skellington. Then on Monday, Baker returns with more of the usual rubbish but this week – HE’S USING SOME VAGUELY ATMOSPHERIC HALLOWEEN BACKING MUSICS! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Also: music from Big Fun.”

Another northerner who casts his pod is John Slater and his Little Britain Voice. Said voice is a bit emotionless and repetitive and he desperately needs a script and some editing but he keeps on trying. His podcasts usually appear weekly where he will talk about Little Britain stuff. It’s all very funny, mostly unintentional of course but it keeps the Little Britain fandom nerds entertained. Sample quotes :
“The DVD is coming out in Australia so , er, that’s good news for people in Australia”
“The Little Britain DVD is a great present for Little Britain fans”
“It’s a 15 certificate so you have to be 15 to buy it”
“It’s quite a nice calendar. Well I say little, it’s actually a standard sized calendar”
“People with Freeview might as well get rid of it coz it won’t be on there. It’s yay for BBC1″

My ears are bleeding.

My blog icon Andrew Collins has a big blog once a week. This week, as usual, he tackled something that annoys me too: those smutty softporn trashy mens’ magazines like Zoo and Nuts…

‘These are huge magazines, and offer a shall-we-say simplistic view of the opposite sex. I would call it an extension of readers’ wives, except the readers of these smutty mags don’t have wives, or – let’s face it – girlfriends. These readers are encouraged to exist in a hormonally-charged world of implanted breasts, skimpy knickers and celebrity “nip slips”, with a bit of football, comedy and gore thrown in. What worries me – and I know it makes me a bit Mary Whitehouse, but I don’t propose censorship – is that a whole generation of young men is growing up thinking that women are only useful if they take their clothes off and have cosmetic surgery. What a shock they are in for. (Having said that, more women are having surgery at a younger age. Why?) …
Zoo magazine has been criticised by the Advertising Standards Agency for a competition it noisily ran offering a “boob job” for your girlfriend (again, the irony is that most of its readers, a girlfriend is as much of a fantasy as a boob). “Win your lady a brand new set of expertly crafted tits,” is what it actually promised… In its submission to the watchdog, Zoo said the competition was written in a “tongue in cheek style” and was “intended to be a parody of the view that men objectified women and of society’s obsession with cosmetic appearance”. I’m just checking and . . no, I’ve never heard such tosh in all my born days…
As I say, I don’t believe these mags should be banned or censored, just made a little more difficult to buy. Perhaps put an outer cover featuring a nude man on them; see how many spotty-chinned schoolboy-consumers would take them to the till then. (I remember when, in the mid-90s, Q put a naked Terence Trent D’Arby on the cover and sales plummeted. Red-blooded male readers revealing their innate homophobia? Or just the fact that Terence Trent D’Arby was rubbish?) ‘

Mister Collins also covered for Mark Radcliffe on Radio 2 this week but I missed most of that. Bugger.

I prefer this earlier version of Zoo Magazine. Apes have much more self-respect for one thing.

I shamelessly stole this picture from the fantastic The Superficial because it made me laugh. And laughter is the best medicine. And I have a snotty cold…

Spot the difference? Phil ‘Murder Sus’ Spector and Arrested Development’s scary slightly racist muppetesque puppet Franklin. It’s uncanny. One murders songs and the other murders actresses. Allegedly.

“I didn’t mean to shoot her. It was an accident.” Er…

Eastenders is pretty dire. It keeps bringing back dead people to kill all over again and digging up old comedy stars for guest roles… And bringing back Brentwood hardman Ross ‘angry and bald’ (and fat) Kemp of course. Desperate! But now something even more desperate has happened…

Yes, that’s right. Sonia is lezzing it up! One for the lads’ mags then. Not.

Hurrah! It’s time for our quiz ‘Face Or Arse?’ The clue is in the question…
Is it a picture of a face… Or is it an arse?

Answer:

It’s a trick question. It’s actually a stupid c*nt.

Or is it Sharon Osbourne?

The Sun is a comic, or is it printed toilet paper? I was not surprised by the George Takei story being covered in a pathetic way as it is exactly as I was expecting of such a chav paper…

What then pissed me off even more was this bit from their website:

THE Sun has shown considerable restraint with its headlines on this story. Let’s hear your suggestions (printable, of course). Email mailto:startrek@the-sun.co.uk

Is is a good idea or a bad idea to propose a telly series based on that popular graphic novel series turned popular movie ‘Sin City’? I cannot decide. The Guardian reported about it earlier in the week and I forgot to look at it until now…
Sin City TV series on way
Yellow peril … Sin City TV series in the pipeline
Sin City, Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller’s adaptation of the latter’s noirish graphic novels, is to be made into a TV series. The project is one of several on a tantalising slate for a new TV production company being set up by the Weinstein brothers through their new outfit, The Weinstein Co. The Miramax founders, who left their own firm after a dispute with parent company Disney over their desire to make larger, more costly films, look set to use all their big screen connections as they vie to make inroads in the television sphere…

I wonder if Nicolas Cage will want to appear in it?