Grant Morrison writing the real DC Universe Batman?

How can it fail? It’s got just the right level of weirdness.

Who said comics can’t be funny and poignant at the same time?

Birds Of Prey should be shit but it’s really very good.

For the next Celebrity Boxing travesty I recommend Mad Anti-Semitic Drink-driving infinite kid-spawning Mel Gibson who is no friend of the gays and certainly not the Jews after his latest outburst, and Mad Zionist Daily Mail Nasty Shrew Melanie Phillips who is far from a friend of a Friend Of Dorothy. When you consider their extreme opposing views and the general shoddyness of both their work, plus the fact that they have the same name, you’re onto a winner.

Think of the children, Mels!

I hate memes with a passion but I have given in and done a ‘Meme Lite’ of JVS and Orange Anubis’ most recent one…

Favourites
Season Last year’s Doctor Who was great butthis year’s finale beats it so I am unsure.
Time Hammer time? Or time for tea.
Sport Are you having a laugh? I spose uphill gardening is more pastime than sport.

Currents
Feeling Like James Brown I feel good. And a bit clammy.
Mobile Shit Nokia. My first mobile was so shit that the muggers threw it in the bin: Fact!
Underwear Clammy, clingy and black.

First
Kiss With a man? On a freezing night in Brighton with some crying. Him, not me.
Job Little Chef. I still know the whole 1990-1995 menu off by heart.
Date Is that the things that don’t end up in bed? An indie bar in Camden, maybe. Er…

Lasts
Drink A nice cup of organic tea.
Meal I made a very nice broccolli cheese garlic tomato pasta bake thing.
Phonecall A conference call with a cameo by some tumbleweed.

Have you ever
Broken the law Do mp3s count?
Kissed someone you didn’t know I’ve kissed someone I didn’t like!
Skinny dipped Of course not. I have a tiny enough cock without adding cold water.

I feel so cleansed by this experience!

Oh how we love Little Skaro.
They’ve put up a new ‘episode.’

Hyeeeesssss…

Project76 loves Brian Bendis’ writing. Here’s some panels from the latest issue of New Avengers, from Marvel Comics. Gorgeously expressive illustrations by Leinil Yu and a focus on Jessica Jones and Luke Cage (and baby) make it my kind of comic…

Heh.

Oh dear. The saintly world-saving beautiful intelligent yet mediocre Angelina Jolie harps on and on about the problems of the world and jets off to stop poverty and stuff yet she decided that she needs to take her latest child out for a spin in a fucking landrover? Jolie bad show!


Of course we all know that to put a baby seat in a normal car is utterly impossible and you need a whole monstertruck for the little critter. Maybe she should carry him/her/it next time and get the bus. I think Ange needs to read this.

I think the geeks will want a time machine so they can purchase these things now!

They’re all forthcoming in the next few months. Look them up yourselves… I could provide URLS but I have a lot of housework to be getting on with as I went to work yesterday on my day off and sweated to death. Having no aircon and keeping the doors closed as the shop wasn’t actually open (the city is virtually people-free at the weekends) means that faffing around with deliveries, books and beautiful displays while the entire database is upgraded and re-installed is particularly hot work. The feeling of your scrotum being stuck to your leg with clammy sweat is most definitely not recommended. You have to peel it away from the leg like removing a less sticky than usual plaster. Nice.

George Michaels has turned himself into a scapegoat for gays now. I have some sympathy for him today, even though I don’t like him, as he’s provided the nasty media a handy excuse to re-jig their usual printed load of arse about ‘destroying the morals of society’ and all that jazz. Well maybe not jazz but rubbish MOR pap but I digress. That awful shrew Amanda Platell (are all Mail women shrews?) cunningly started a column with as near to a bit of support for the men who like Hazell Dean as she is capable of, which must have shocked her regulars:

“George Michael’s attempts to justify having sex with strangers on Hampstead Heath – or cruising, as it is known – have not only besmirched his own reputation, they are an insult to our fair and tolerant society. Michael claimed in an interview for the BBC that ‘a very large part of the male population, gay or straight, totally understands the idea of anonymous, no-strings sex’.
No, they don’t, George. Such sordid, anonymous and public promiscuity is understood only by a tiny minority of the gay community. The rest of them – and, I would suggest, the great majority of the heterosexual community – abhor such degrading behaviour. But by claiming his conduct is in no way abnormal, Michael is merely the latest example of the moral inversion whereby the values of an extreme minority are deemed to be superior to those of the mainstream majority. Let me be clear: the persecution of homosexuals is utterly wrong …”

See? She’s almost pleasant! But before Outraged Of Brentwood chokes on their croissant she cunningly flip-reverses it:

“… But it is also utterly wrong for a tiny fringe element of the gay community to demand that sordid, self-indulgent behaviour should be accepted unquestioningly. Too often, it seems, mainstream values – and the place of the traditional family as the bedrock of society – have been shunted aside as the gay lobby have demanded ever more ‘rights’. Thus the introduction of civil partnerships for gay couples, in the name of equality, is no longer enough. Gay groups are now lobbying for full ‘marriages’ – equal in every way to traditional unions. Then again, no sooner had the Church shown greater understanding toward gays than the latter threaten to tear the Church of England apart. And now we are supposed to condone the depraved rutting in our public spaces by a tiny element of the gay community. Sorry. What cannot ever be tolerated is the debasing of the moral standards that we, as a society, have a right to expect of all people, gay or straight. Equality means just that – that we judge all people by the same rules. And by any standards, George Michael’s behaviour is utterly contemptible. “

So not only does George Michaels delude himself into thinking that he respresents the imaginary ‘gay community’ but he has unwittingly (or maybe he isn’t bothered) given more fuel for the nasty bitter journos who can use his silly behaviour as another reason why gays are bad and the idea of equal marriage for all is insane and demanding and silly.

Stupid lazy fucking journalists. Focus on something important, not a popstar’s continuing mid life crisis please. And yes I am well aware that i am focusing on it rather than having a go about the whole Middle East thing but that’s not what this place is for. Bah! I shall have a George Michaels amnesty then show the press all of the discarded cottaging and DUI stories that have accumulated here. And the shuttlecocks of course.

Did anybody ever wonder what would happen if Mike Carey, writer of Vertigo’s ‘Lucifer’ and Chris Bachalo, illustrator of Vertigo’s ‘Shade The Changing Man’ and ‘Death’ took over an X-Men book?

It’s all rather good. Mad energetic mayhem with multiple sub-plots, fun dialogue and way too many mutants… X-Men 189 is out this week.

And Rogue just so happens to be unintentionally quoting a Mitchell & Webb catchphrase, as well as leading the new strike team that also includes her estranged (and slightly evil) stepmother Mystique and stepmom’s crazy ex: Sabretooth!