The other other Doctor Who thing is on later and i nearly forgot about it …

BBC7 (the digital radio one) at 6pm tonight and then repeated as the Noooo Yeeeah comes along.
Camp Daleks.
Paul McGann.
Nick Briggs doing voices.
That annoying woman from Two Pints Of Lager.
Angie Watts.

Trailer!

Oh yes. I am twelve years old again…

Tomorrow afternoon. Happy New Year, nerds!

The final two Torchwood episodes are on tomorrow night and look like a lot of fun. Stupid fun of course, but with dead people and monsters and shit happening it might just entertain me enough…

No gaylien bisexual invasions in the trailers though. Boo hiss boo!

That Mark Gatiss is looking good for 76 years of age, isn’t he?

Huh?

Press play and all will be explained…

After making a meme out of the Independent‘s mini interview thing the other week I felt it only fair that I turn my newspapery attention to The Guardian, where I found their Is This It? column in The Guide. Presenting: Another bloody meme!

What’s new pussycat?
The Jarvis Cocker CD that came in the post this morning. It’s great and has funny little notes on it. I think you’d like it. And I am not a feline so don’t call me pussycat. Bah.

How do you mend a broken heart?
Double sided sticky tape usually works for me. It’s been a while since I had one of those. I think it was the first one that hurt the most. By the third one I didn’t really care all that much. There’s progress for you!

Are friends electric?
If they are a tin dog then yes. Usually I would say no but with some of the people I know they spend an awfully long time in front of their computers so I could be led to conclude that they plug themselves into the USB port for a quick charge.

Who let the dogs out?
I don’t have any dogs. Anything that has more than two legs is just not right.

Where is my mind?
In the pizza delivery girl?

What’s love got to do with it?
Quite a lot actually. But not Love Actually as that kind of film makes me queasy. Life is not a Richard Curtis production. Love is the most important thing and not just sexy love. Love for all yer regular people, be excellent to each other. Can you tell I am on the Benylin?

How deep is your love?
As deep as the deep end of the swimming pool. No heavy petting please.

Why don’t we do it in the road?
Because we’re not slags.

What became of the likely lads?
They got old and made other telly shows. One of them was a robot in Doctor Who. I don’t really care what happened to them.

Who’s gonna drive you home tonight?
I am not going out. I am ill.

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
With a large amount of common sense and some duct tape.

How clean is your house?
As clean as my conscience.

How do you sleep?
Badly. If it’s not a horrible cough it’s a stuffed up nose and if that’s okay it’s a snoring man next to me or the sentral heating coming on really early or the post man or…

Are you lonesome tonight?
No. I am most unlonesome. I have hugs and love on tap here at home and I love it.

Ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn’t've)?
Yes but that happens to everybody at some point, doesn’t it? Looking back on it I realised it was stupid but then it usually is with the gift of hindsight. He had a very small winkie. But that’s not why it didn’t work.

How soon is now?
Quite soon. I’ll let you know.

Is this it?
It is. Unless there are any more questions based upon songs and stuff. Good day!

I love a bit of hot meme action, as you know, and in my search for an appropriate end of year one I found this via the marvellous Shez’s MySpace thang. Almost decided on Mister Bate’s meme which was similar but it’s time to show some MySpace lurve…

1) Where did you begin 2006?
Only mildly tipsy at a party with a strange cat and a woman who would soon become my assistant.

2) What was your status by Valentine’s Day?
Same as it ever was. When I say ever I mean the last 6 and a half years. I am old and comfortable.

3) Were you in school (anytime this year)?
No. I am 33 years of age and not a teacher. Or a cleaner. Or really really dim.

4) How did you earn your money?
With blood, seat and tears. That and running several businesses throughout the year. One at a time, not all together (although there was that two weeks of overlapping in the Summer).

5) Did you have to go to the hospital?
No. I seen them cats wiv wimples and they scared me!

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?
Is this a sexual question? Any truncheon fun? No. I am a good boy. But I know someone who isn’t.

7) Where did you go on holiday?
To Barcelona in the Summertime. We slept quite a bit and ate when not asleep.

What did you purchase that was over £500?
A wedding reception.

9) Did you know anybody who got married?
Funny that you mentioned that.

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
Not personally, but Linda Smith died and she was nice. I never got to lunge her after a comedy event though.

11) Have you run into anybody you left high school with?
Not literally as that would cause bruising. One person from school was at the wedding reception. I don’t really see school people anymore.

12) Did you move anywhere?
Didn’t move house but moved work locations. A grand total of three shops this year. I never know what to say when I answer the phone.

13) What sporting events did you go to?
What is this sport that you speak of?

14) What concerts/shows did you go to?
Concerts? No music ones this year. I am too old for the noise and lack of comfortable seating. Loads and loads of comedy gigs though. I am sure I have mentioned them all bloody year already (Boosh, Mitchell And Webb x 7, hundreds of Radio 4 things).

15) Are you registered to vote?
Yes. And not just for them reality show fings.

16) Who did you want to win Big Brother?
Someone intelligent, witty, opinionated and interesting to watch… but there is never anyone like that in the show.

17) Where do you live now?
At home. Same as last year and the ones before. Inbetween the nice part of town and the chavs. I should write a piece of musical theatre about it.

18. Describe your last birthday.
I can’t remember what I did… I shall check the blog entry for that day… Oh yes I had a phlegmy cold, was upset about Linda Smith and bemused by Abu Hamza’s son trying to be a rapper.

19) What’s the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2006?
Get married. I always wanted to but it was never an option until a year ago. And yes I know it’s not technically a real marriage but it is except for a different name so nerrr!

20) What has been your favourite moment?
See above. I am so sentimental.

21) What’s something you learned about yourself?
That I must be much better at my job than I think I am. I got promoted twice, yes, twice! Madness!

22) Any new additions to your family?
We have been trying for a baby but I am, alas, barren. We have ‘the pets’ which are not real animals but they’ll do.

23) What was your best month?
I have to say June what with the life changing events and that. I left my West End shop, got married, had the whole family round my house, had the wedding reception which was also my first ever party for myself, and had a nice noliday in Spain with The Husband.

24) What music will you remember 2006 by?
See the post from yesterday. There’s millions of musics I like.

25) Who has been your best drinking buddy?
I don’t tend to do drinking buddying but I shall nominate Adam and Wendy as they do the pub quiz thing with us and we went out with them the night before The Big Day.

26) Made new friends?
Oh yes. Mostly on t’internet though. See my blog roll for details.

27) Best new friend?
Do I look like a ten year old girl? Don’t answer that. We befriended Voice Of Diarrhoea adverts’ Sue Perkins one night. I stared at her and pointed madly, shouting her name to try and disturb her and then we had a nice chat about lesbians and comedy and things. I also had a nice chat with TV’s (and novellist) Will Self about gays and marriage. What a nice man.

28) Favourite Nights out?
The Mitchell And Webb rehearsals at The Dill Hall were pretty special times as we saw the sketches develop and had a lovely chat with the cast afterwards… Must mention the final telly recording as well if only for the bizarre spectacle of discussing our wedding presents with the warm-up in front of the entire studio.

29) Any regrets?
Je ne regrette rien. Except for not seeing friends enough even though they are mostly as rubbish about that kind of thing as I am anyway.

Hot Chip, you say? Exclusive remixes by them of other people and other people remixing their stuff? All available for nought pence separately or in a couple of big zip files? Click here to get them? Okay. Thanks.

I love Blue Walrus. For that is who has the tunes.

I always say I don’t do drugs because drugs make me crazy and I’m already crazy enough. This zero tolerance policy usually extends to cough medicine as it makes everything go all swirly and sparkly and a bit Tori Amos-y. I had to give in. The evil cough/cold had given me two almost completely sleepless nights, one of those spent shivering on the sofa inbetween coughs. So I went to the pharmacist and got drugs. Nose strips to help me breathe and Benylin for dry coughs and stuff. I slept most of the night and took some more this morning before going to work and…

… it’s been freaking me out all day. The nonsense-censoring part of my brain has been turned off by the drugs. I was swaying more than is normal although any movement when stationary is surely not right? I had to give up and leave work early as I was about as much use as The Black And White Minstrels at a diversity training session. The world has stopped spinning and I have a nice cup of tea and some comics. The Wonderful Husband will cook dinner. All is good. Zzzzz….

Thanks, Benylin.

Thenylin.

Zzzzz….

Another day another list. I have to do a music one as it’s what sountracks all my stupid moments and a day without music is like a fish without a moped. Or something or nothing. Anyway, in a sort of an order and after much whittling down…

Amy Winehouse
I knew she was good but the madder the hair got the better the tunes got. Is it all about the hair? I don’t really know but having Mark Ronson onboard for most of the tracks certainly helped. Well it worked for that other loudmouth Lily Allen and some of Robbie Walliams’ Rudebox and …er…

Mika
Like Rufus with tunes? The new Freddie Mercury? He tried to be like Grace Kelly but all her looks were too sad. He’ll hit the big time in 2007 but he’s been hanging around for a while now on the internet and has built up a good collection of songs. And fans, which helps.

Sia / Zero7
Sia did a single on I-Tunes so she’s on my list. She sountracked some perfect visual moments last year and I’ve kept on playing her last album. Appearing on some of Zer0 7′s latest album cements her position in my favourites. Swedish and complicated but with an ear for a good tune. Etc.

The Feeling
A little bit gay but then so am I. Cheese can be good as long as you have the skills to back it up and their album got played to death all year. They wrote several of my theme tunes.

Gomez
Gomez slipped back into my world with their finest album yet. Nobody really cared. So I played it at work for months.

Jarvis
Mister Cocker returned with a stonking good song with naughty words via Myspace and then the album that followed made me very very happy. A wide range of musical moods all in the Jarvis style. He looks a mess, yes.

The Pipettes
They pull shapes and they are The Pipettes. They are the musical equivalent of jelly beans and their only fault is that the album is really really short. Loved the b-sides too.

Cat Power
Her The Greatest album was re-issued and kept getting played here. She sountracked a scene from V For Vendetta and still I played the album. I haven’t got bored of it yet and I have a terrible attention sp…

Scissor Sisters
Big Gay Disco! A bit similar to the first album but that was pretty good as well. They have some of my theme tunes too.

Morrissey
Mister grumpy got a bit less grumpy this year. Maybe it’s because he got to play hide the sausage? Mozz soundtracked the journey to and from our wedding and it fitted so well.

Also rans include the following:
Lily Allen: The music matched the hype.
Belle And Sebastian: Was is this year? Er…
Pet Shop Boys: Return to form. Synthesizer Patel would be proud.
The Divine Comedy: Splendid as ever.
Jamelia: Rather great pop album.
Joan As Policewoman: Pretentious? Moi?
Van Hunt: Proper soul, not like that modern shite.
Hot Chip: Anything with lyrics about monkeys with cymbals…
Paolo Nutini: I thought I’d hate him but I was wrong.
Scritti Politti: Back again and still good but not good enough for my list.
Captain: So much better than the over-rated likes of Snow Patrol.
The Zutons: Songs about girls and mad videos. Must get the album.
Tahiti 80: French. But don’t let that put you off.
James Morrison: Not all hype. Good for selling books to.
Badly Drawn Boy: Same old but still a fan.

I could go on all night but I shall stop now.

The thing I must rate for the year next has to be blogs. We love a bit of blog! In a sort of order, here are my Bestest Blogs…

Clive’s Rambleshambles
The leader of Equal Rights For Gingers, he is a proper English eccentric and will one day be the new Alan Bennett. Or maybe Lennie Bennett. He reminds me of how stupid student life was but in a funny and always entertaining way.

The Zapping
Mostly pop music but with heaps of mp3s and filmy things to keep me entertained. What a good entertainment blog should be like… and written by one of the Gays What Did Marry A Gay types.

Fighting In Pubs
Ben Baker is one of the funniest people I know but don’t really know. I will read anything he writes, within reason. Comedy for people who care about comedy, plus random weirdness as a bonus prize. He is not a gay.

Imitation Of Life
The First Lady Of Blogger. Jemima doea poetry and clever talking writing, plus has a wicked sense of humour and strong beliefs. The Anti-Daily Mail with prettier words and pictures.

The Christopher Bate Propaganda
One of the old school. When not having Freakends and lovelife woes, Christopher writes rather good films and short bits of writey stuff. It’s all good. He is an honorary gay because he can express his emotions a bit too well.

Mick’s Secret Identity
He draws comics. He has opinions. He’s good. What more do you need?

My Citrus Sarcophagus
Orange cat thing from Egypt or something. Or metropolitan metrosexual homosexual about town? You decide!

Norton’s Occasional Opinions
He needs more opinion time but when he does some he is usually the acceptable face of grumpy young men.

Cheznoir
Comedy Stalker Supreme!

Life Is Cock
I don’t know what he is… but I like it. Weird and obnoxious at times but always funny and interesting, Mister Cock is an original voice.

And as a runner up due to lack of regular posts …
My Tangled Web
It’s not been untangled for a while but there is usually something involving his odd pets or friends who come to stay. Country walks, fireworks, Christmas… it’s a snapshot of a fun life.