I could blog about packing up the bloody office, orgasnising a sales conference and attending it while some men move the office contents to a new location and then having to unpack it all over a period of several days, making me rather tired, but I won’t. I’ll show you some pretty pictures from comics instead:

Doctor 10.0 is still having fun over in those wacky comics, and is currently getting in a pickle with an Orgon, a Draconian and a Sontaran. As you do.

Mike ‘Lucifer’ (the comic he wrote, he is not the devil) Carey’s X-Men run is a jolly good load of fun, and not just because he included a cameo from long lost (perhaps for the best) 80s character Ariel. No not that one, the other one. You know, from that Fallen Angels miniseries you’ve forgotten about but I remember buying in Basildon.

Meanwhile, in Gotham, District Attorney Kate Spencer (this is becoming like a Manhunter fansite) goes for a swim and meets a Dick. Mr Grayson of course.

Not a lot happened in my finally-found issue 4 of Phonogram Singles Club but they did play some good tunes.

Early period every time, none of that generic anonymous mix & match R&B tat.

So do I. I also like Phonogram. Talking of Phonogram writer Kieron Gillen…

He also writes the new S.W.O.R.D series for Marvel featuring a rather belligerent Lockheed.

It stands for Sentient World Observation and Response Department in case you were wondering. Blame Joss Whedon, he created the idea.

Busy week, inluding the inevitable packing up the office leading into the Big Sales Conference Organised By Me taking place while ‘some men’ moved all the stuff to the new premises. Which I have not seen yet and still have no key for. Whoops. Hmm… I am looking forward to getting in there and sorting it all out and resisted the urge to leave a gift-wrapped poo on a certain lazy liar’s desk before I left. She’s never at it so would not have noticed until Christmas even if I had done my dirty protest. I am a grown up so I thought better of this, as proven by my wearing of a suit on Thursday. No tie of course, so last year.

Unexciting things this week:

Trying to find a copy of issue 4 of Phonogram Singles Club in London and failing.

Sanding down painty lumps in the lounge walls very badly.

A lot of cardboard boxes and parcel tape. I swear I dreamt about this too.

Attempting to watch Funny People but deciding that as there were no funny, just lots of people, and its 4.3 hours running length was a bit long that it may be best to not bother. Damn, Apaptow was one of my big entertainment cheeses in his TV era and the films bug me because of this. If I wanted to watch ugly dumb potty-mouthed men bragging about pussy I would still be managing a Pizza Hut delivery unit.

Exciting things this week:

Sia leaked a song from her 2010 album!

The BNP befriended a Muslim-hating Sikh and the usual tools failed to see the irony.

Daily Mail readers love the now-no-longer-racist party. Ironies.

Patrick Wolf done made a video for that good song:

I liked the new Muse single:

The first part of that Doctor Who animation appeared and it was alright if you like that sort of thing.


I am old skool so I find the CGI-ness a bit creepy, and the characters just look stoopid when running. Animated Who can be great though, see the DVD of The Invasion for an example.

The Sarah Jane Adventures finished and it was overall a good old fun load of nonsense. Really deserves a repeat slot in a more prime time timey wimey zone though as it definitely deserves a wider audience. The first story was the weakest but there were some strong ones this year including a mad wedding episode, Floella Benjamim vs ghosts, the absurd but funny loopy northern Mona Lisa rampage and some good gungeing this week.

Roll on series 4 please. CBBC is so much better than it gets credit for (is it Ed & Oucho December yet?).

Well, another Doctor Who special has been and gone. How was it for you?

It was certainly a vast improvement on Cyberzilla Smash! or The One With Lee Evans And That Bus. Oh yes… a modern version of the classic Troughton era ‘base under siege’ with just enough scary shit for the kids and grownups. This was the first new episode we’ve watched on our new fancy modern big telly and also the first where the sofa has not been against a wall so I could have sat behind it had I wished to do a little bit of cliche, but I thought better of it.

Lots of great things about this: The cast were all very good, the water was suitably menacing (even though it looked liked a souped-up version of those ‘hilarious’ Little Britain vomit pumps at times, the monster make-up was brilliant and just Ice Warrioresque enough to make this old geek go all hmmmm about the common visuals and location, the (I hate to use the expression but) character arc for Ten got a bit more interesting too. Hurrah.

The only things that bugged me were a few Shouty Tennant moments but then that’s always been the case. He’s been, to quote another incarnation, fantastic in the role and it’s time for change soon which is exciting. Gadget was meant to be cheesey so I’ll let them off for that one but that bloody multi-skilled sonic blinkin’ screwdriver gets on my nerves. I am a grumpy old man though.

So… Ten is having his long time coming (since Nine) nervous breakdown? Makes sense, good idea, I look forward to seeing how this all ends. There will be some stroppy squealing fangirls come new year but change is what it’s all about.

The trailer for the final two specials looks pretty special, as you would expect.

With one day to go until a certain Timelord returns to our screens I thought I’d fill some blog space by mentioning an amusing article in today’s Guardian about the political inspirations of Doctor Who monsters (yes really) and then show this picture:

Looks a bit like a classic series DVD cover design to me.

Also: Trailer

Might as well remind the world (or the dozen people who read this) about The Sarah Jane Adventures being on the BBC iPlayer )coming to a Wii near you soon!) where the latest story has the Mona Lisa running riot in an art gallery in that camp brassy northern manner that she is famous for…

Before all that I have to go to the supermarket, finish off my skirting boards (not a euphamism) and paint the lounge ceiling. It’s thrilling to be a grown-up.

With Jamie working in sunny Milton Keynes for a couple of days (boo hiss boo) I had time to catch up on my comic reading and this might seem like an easy way to fill a blog post up with pictures but… you’d probably be right.

Astonishing X-Men still exists in a ‘Continuity? What continuity?’ state as it does so like its slow writers and artists which make it difficualt to place chronologically. Never mind, it currently has Phil Jiminez drawing Warren Ellis’ freaky stories and he’s a great fit because he can draw people and things very well indeed. The characters still have a tendency to lapse into Ellisisms occasionally but I can cope with that.

X-Factor (no not the nothing-to-do-with-music TV ‘talent’ show) is still consistently entertaining and amusing and the 200th issue is almost here!

While DC are bringing black loads of dead characters as super zombiefied Black Lanterns in Blackest Night, Marvel’s mutants have their own dead-rising-from-graves problem in Necrosha. It could be horribly crap but so far is quite nice. Well as nice as resurrected slightly-possessed versions of old dead folks can be.

Talking of the revolving death door, Psylocke has a mini series of her own where they look like they’re sorting out some of the shit done to her character since someone had the dumb idea to turn the telepathic English rose into an Asian ninja because it was more “cool.”

Spider-Woman’s new series sure is pretty but not a lot has actually happened yet.

Kate Spencer has pissed off Two-Face in Manhunter (in her back-up strip in that other Batman book called Streets of Gotham). Oops.

James Robinson’s Justice League mini series is still going strong. I am glad to hear that Congorilla and Mikaal will be turning up in the regular series soon too, as every book deserves a super boffin gorilla and a blue gay alien Starman.

Right, time to read some more comics…

@Cheznoir (yes I now speak in Twitterese) came round on Friday to audition as a part time wife and housekeeper and she did quite well by eating a medium pizza (no Christmas Pizzzza available yet, damnit!) while watching some Look Around You and then making an apple crumble in the kitchen. I supplied the custard, which is not some kind of sexual excitement euphamism. As it tasted good I promised to share it with the world of the internet folk so here is how to make an apple crumble:

Step 1: Get a woman into your kitchen with some apples, ready made crumble mix from Sainsbury’s and chocolate drops.:

Yes we have Cillit Bang. Are you jealous?

Step 2: Chop them apples on chopping board, peel skins with peeler:

Step 3: Put apples in a saucepan with a bit of water. Not enough to cover apples though…

Step 4 : Squish ‘em while boiling until you end up with hot apple mush:

Step 5: Once boiled and smooshed enough, pour apples into handy oven dish:

Do not add balsamic vinegar, even though you may want to.

Step 6: Pour crumbley mix on top of spread-out apple mush:

Also add chocolate drops, not worth a separate photo really.

Step 7: Chuck it into oven which has been preheated at the temperature you cook everything at anyway i.e. 200 degrees:

Then wait…

Step 8: Once it has been cooked enough (maybe 25 minutes-ish) take it out of the oven, using oven gloves for it will be hot. If you don’t know that you shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen:

Step 9: Scrape crumble out of dish into bowls (not bowels as I originally mistyped) and add custard which has been microwaved by your assistant while you were faffing about:

Then eat the bloody thing. Delicious!

I suppose I should show this wonderful clip in the spirit of eating too much:

Also should mention Slimby, which we had for 2am snack:

The latest thing from my childhood to get the remake/reboot treatment and make me feel my age is V…

Alion ships turn up, smiley happy alions say hello can we have some water and a cup of sugar and we’ll give you some nice alion stuff in exchange, look we are nice and we have uniforms for people who want to join our fan club but wait oh no they might be bad alions after all…

As usual Great Britain is London which is Big Ben. Meh.

It’s pretty much a rehash of the original series but with modern twists and changes. Old geeks will recognise a lot of it but the mix has been updated to include a pinch of Battlestar Galactica (new version of course), some clunky Obama campaign references, a smidgen of David Icke paranoia and a nice load of non-annoying characters unlike the recent yawnfest that was Flash Forward. No spoilers here as some surprises are to be had in the first episode. I say give it a go. It’s a great pilot. And yes I know how to spell alien really.

We all like a nice cup of tea but the self-proclaimed World’s Greatest Newspaper likes it a bit too much. With lots of world news to choose from for today’s headline they decided to go with something very odd (but not that odd for a low grade almost-spoof of tabloid trash like the Mail):

A DAILY cup of tea can fight heart disease, boost brain power and even help you live longer, experts said last night.

A global review of research papers on the health effects of caffeine has found that drinking up to eight cups of tea a day offers “significant health benefits”, including a lower risk of heart attack and stroke. Caffeinated drinks such as tea, coffee and cocoa also have positive effects on mental function, increasing alertness, feelings of well-being and short-term memory. The research even suggested that people who cut out tea and coffee from their diet in a bid to be healthy may be doing more harm than good.

The major review of 47 published studies was carried out by independent dietician Dr Carrie Ruxton.

Remember that name, it will become relevant later.

She found that an optimal intake of 400mg of caffeine a day – equal to eight cups of tea or four cups of coffee – delivered “key benefits in terms of mental function and heart health” without any adverse consequences.

Tea is Britain’s most popular beverage, drunk daily by 77 per cent of the population. A number of studies have already linked its healthy antioxidant properties and high flavonoid content to preventing heart disease and cutting the risk of some cancers.

So why is this established fact front page news exactly?

One cup of coffee a day has also been found to halve the risk of cancers affecting the mouth and gullet. However, large amounts of caffeine can result in negative health effects, such as a higher risk of having small babies. Dr Ruxton’s review aimed to “debunk” many of the myths surrounding caffeine.

Sod coffee, I want to hear more about lovely tea. I wonder why she is so tea-obsessed?

I have cut loads of the article at this point as it’s rather tedious and repetitive. Basically, tea is the elixir of bloody life.

Dr Catherine Hood, of the Tea Advisory Panel, said: “Caffeinated drinks have been unfairly demonised.

They have a Tea Advisory Panel? Is it for tea ladies to try new blends?

“Black tea, in particular, contains polyphenols, which are natural plant antioxidants. These have beneficial effects on many biochemical processes in the body because they protect cells against harmful free radicals. Flavonoids are thought to be especially useful, with a number of studies reporting a link between them and lower risk of heart attack.”

So The Expresss has a load of boffins saying hurrah for tea, tea is great, blah blah blah, as their top story? How could this be? And why is chief boffin Dr Carrie Ruxton so into her tea trivia?

Oh. That’s why… how odd that her membership of a tea pressure group is not mentioned in the article. The same article which is a slightly rewritten version of the Tea Advisory Panel’s press release. I know the World’s Greatest Newspaper doesn’t have the funds for proper journalists seven days a week so the Saturday girl must have done this piece. It doesn’t mention immigrants or muslims after all so something’s not right. I wonder if Express owner (Dirty) Richard Desmond is a member of the Biscuit Advisory Panel (which I just made up)?

Sometimes Amazon goes a bit loopy:

What? Whaaaat?