I started following Clare Balding on Twitter today ( http://twitter.com/clarebalding1) after seeing the latest chapter in trashy ‘journalism’ taking a distinctly unpleasant tone and wanting to follow the story. Brief recap via that nice feminist blog  The F Word (no not that Klingon-foreheaded shouty cookery man):

Friend Of Jeremy and professional word shitter A A Gill said this in the Sunday Times:

Some time ago, I made a cheap and frankly unnecessary joke about Clare Balding looking like a big lesbian. And afterwards somebody tugged my sleeve to point out that she is a big lesbian, and I felt foolish and guilty. So I’d like to take this opportunity to apologise. Sorry. Now back to the dyke on a bike, puffing up the nooks and crannies at the bottom end of the nation.

Clare Balding complained and the paper’s editor John Witherow replied to her with a classic example of making matters worse:

In my view some members of the gay community need to stop regarding themselves as having a special victim status and behave like any other sensible group that is accepted by society. Not having a privileged status means, of course, one must accept occasionally being the butt of jokes . A person’’s sexuality should not give them a protected status. Jeremy Clarkson, perhaps the epitome of the heterosexual male, is constantly jeered at for his dress sense (lack of), adolescent mind-set and hair style. He puts up with it as a presenter’’s lot and in this context I hardly think that AA Gill’’s remarks were particularly “cruel”, especially as he ended by so warmly endorsing you as a presenter.

Massive space between editor and point there. Cue Balding’s response:

When the day comes that people stop resigning from high office, being disowned by their families, getting beaten up and in some instances committing suicide because of their sexuality, you may have a point.This is not about me putting up with having the piss taken out of me, something I have been quite able to withstand, it is about you legitimising name calling. ‘Dyke’ is not shouted out in school playgrounds (or as I’ve had it at an airport) as a compliment, believe me.

It may be your job to defend your writer and your editorial team but if you really think that homophobia does not exist and was not demonstrated beyond being ‘the butt of a joke’ then we have a problem.

Balding 100 – Editor Zero.I bloody love her thoughtful grown-up response which certain ‘journalists’ could learn a lot from.

It continued with talk of a PCC complaint (and we all know how well that particular organisation  works, right?) and various opinions being shared on Twitter, ending with a Guardian article appearing online this evening. So according to its editor the tone and language was perfectly ok but if we used the obvious example of swapping the offensive gay word for a different kind of offensive word for minorities (say skin colour) would it be ok in their eyes? Gill has always been a Clarkson-esque ‘shocking blah blah’ prick so no change there. I hope Balding’s saga of not taking this shit continues to get atttention and ends up with the resolution it deserves.

Talking of minding your blahdy language:

The Sun is also a Murdoch paper and the headline above comes from a piece by the ironically named Gordon Smart. Tabloid Watch wrote a good blog about this sort of thing. Louie Spence’s job  is to basically be a massive whoopsie for the straight people who “wouldn’t let one look after me kids” but that doesn’t excuse such playground taunt language.

HURTS started out bloody ages ago with their rather good single-but-not-actually-a-proper-single Wonderful Life. Now it’s back and has another video which cost more than the old one which was quite nice anyway but never mind:

It’s all very 80s in a stylish way.

The Divine Comedy have chosen I Like as the second single from the new album. Not a bad choice, quite commercial:

Odd but good.

I thought Architecture In Helsinki released That Beep as single ages ago but apparently not. I love it and the video is suitably weird:

Robyn’s first single from her second Body Language not-an-LP-but-more-than-an-EP is a more produced version of a track from the first Body Language. Diffferent I guess:

Robyn – Hang With Me official video from Robyn on Vimeo.

Nice simple video, works for me.

Bonus clip for the geeks! It’s Arthur ‘Rory from Doctor Who’ Darvill in Sooty, made at some point during the two thousand years where he waited for Amy, probably:

A modern version of the Holmes experience sounds like something The Daily ruddy Mail just have to get upset about.  What can they find to squeal about in this first episode which has had excellent press reviews?

Well:

That ridiculous paper is bloody obsessed with The Gay!

It’s the latest screen portrayal of Sherlock Holmes, but it is far from elementary. Not only are the detective and his assistant Watson fighting crime in modern-day London, but viewers hear the pair discussing their sexuality… and are left wondering if the pair are gay. While the scenes are meant to be comedic, they will come as a shock to viewers accustomed to the more straightforward relationship between Holmes and Dr John Watson in previous TV and film depictions.

Taking misinterpretation to new levels for editorial agenda reasons once again, then! What else could upset the readers?

In stark contrast to the classic sleuth image of deerstalker, pipe and magnifying glass, Holmes is seen brandishing a ‘smartphone’, using the internet and texting criminals in a bid to solve crimes.

I’m not even going to mention the whole Deerstalker never mentioned by Conan Doyle in the books thing… but internet? texting? They may as well have shat all over the Sherlock Holmes Museum itself.

So what does the article actually base its mad headline on?

In one scene, Watson asks Holmes whether he has a girlfriend. He replies: ‘Girlfriend, no. Not really my area.’ The conversation leads to Holmes saying: ‘John, I think you should know I consider myself married to my work and while I am flattered by your interest, I am really not looking for anyone.’

So Holmes has no girlfriend and jokes that Watson may fancy him. Let the outrage commence!

Pavlovian reader response time:

Why read the article when you have a perfectly good (dodgy) headline to get you frothing at the mouth?

Damn you, BBC! Ruining everything.

It must be so lonely and miserable being a Mail reader. Nothing is exciting or fun, just rubbish or scary or wrong and should be banned.

Patronising cow.

Doom Patrol peaked with the Grant Morrison written (and mostly re-created) ‘mature readers’ version in the 90s and various incarnations have come and gone since then. The current run is back in the regular DC Comics world and has shown promise as it has combined some of the best elements from all previous versions dating back to the mid 60s, with another old favourite making a return:

The geeks will love this and I’m hoping this book becomes as great as it should be.

So that’s another run of Manhunter over with again:

The final part of the Manhunter back-up story in whatever Batman comic that was has ended but it will be out in a collected edition soon. Snap up the four existing books in the range if you like your spunky leading ladies and quirky casts.

The Angel comic is still mostly the unpopular ugly brother of the Buffy comic (which has been wildly inconsistent in  the last year itself) but the current storylines by Bill ‘Fables’ Willingham have been far less messy than usual:

Dirty telepathic fishie and new floaty thing character that I cannot remember much about!

Marvel have been producing some good comics in the last month, including the long-awaited return of The Young Avengers (in Avengers: The Childrens’ Crusade) by their creators:

There are also superhero fights and that sort of thing, it’s not just scenes of teenage homosexual super-powered romance although that is rather sweet and lovely. Other teenage Avengers are available in the newest Avengers title to launch (that’s alongside Avengers, New Avengers, Secret Avengers and The Childrens’ Crusade): Avengers Academy!

It’s like the 80s again with all these Avenger teams! Rumours abound of another more cosmic team on the way… hopefully not with ruddy foil covers or holographic bullshit. Never again please, comic big cheeses.

Mutant time: Dazzler had a one-shot recently involving her dead-but-now-not-so-dead sister, among other things:

Someone reminded Warren Ellis that he has an unfinished arc of Astonishing X-Men to be getting on with and it was surprisingly good:

X-Factor continued to be probably the most consistently good mutant title:

Severl shits hit numerous fans in a big old crossover and big characters died, limbs were lost, things were changed forever, all that jazz… and then the titles slowed the pace right down to explore their characters, which was a nice bloody change:

No mutant baseball matches were played. Phew.

I’m sure we all have days like that sometimes.

The Smoking Room was the workplace sitcom that had many uncannily realistic moments which several of my old colleagues still like to go on about now when we get together (as you would). It’s not back but its creator Brian Dooley has been busy with a new project (or two, it’s complicated) and we went to Soho Theatre on Saturday to see how it was coming along.

What was originally planned to be a full cast reading of an episode each from two new sitcom projects became a double bill of Keep Smiling performed as part of Triforce Promotions ongoing work with writers and actors in the Studio room.  I don’t want to give the plots away as the first one especially has a plot that could easily be spoiled so I’m mostly keeping it zipped. I can tell you who had scripts and made us laugh,  sat in a long line opposite us:

It starred Tom Goodman-Hill (the vicar who turned into an alien wasp in Doctor Who that time, as you do) and Selina Griffiths (Janet from The Smoking Room and the star of long lost comedy pilot Marigold that we loved).

Also appearing were Jimmy Akingbola (currently appearing in Rev), Chizzy Akudolu (from Dead Set), Fraser Ayres (Clint from The Smoking Room), Debbie Chazen (Psychoville, Doctor Who: Voyage of the Damned and Annie from The Smoking Room), Juliet Cowan (from loads of things including Sarah Jane Adventures and Pulling) and Emma Kennedy (Heidi from The Smoking Room and a lot of other things).

Keep Smiling proved (as if there was any doubt) that Brian Dooley can pull of domestic comedy just as well as the workplace variety. Episode one had a slightly convoluted involving plot with Dooley’s usual high-contrast approach to the darker moments of life interspersed with funny quirky character-based comedy while episode two (which is actually planned to be episode three) was the standard Surprise Party sitcom episode but with a great mixture of oddball guests that showed off his talent for creating a wide range of character types so it never became cliched. Keep Smiling is in development with the BBC and if any of the big cheeses see the film made of the reading they would be fools not to take it further. This would be perfect BBC2 9:30pm during the week material and the man near the back over the right hand side of the theatre would certainly agree, judging by the loud guffaws.

Afterwards we had a nice drink in the bar and I looked at my new Eleven Doctors figures box set (mmmm plasticy), I realised that everyone in the world of comedy and Doctor Who fandom knows the same few people, resisted telling another writer how much I like their work but it was insinuated while  talking to his friend, discovered lillies make my allergies really bad when my eye went pink and had a nice chat with Brian Dooley himself. Hurrah for Twitter once again for that is where we became tweet pals or whatever the hell you call it.

Here’s the blurb from the publicity:

KEEP SMILING
Keith and Sheila are the happiest couple you’ll ever meet.  Madly in love with each other and with life, they won’t let anything bring them down.  They’re determined to spread happiness wherever they go, but with Sheila’s pessimistic sister Ruth to contend with, and a fleet of moaners and complainers to frustrate them, it isn’t always easy to keep smiling.  When they throw a party for Ruth she doesn’t want things don’t look set for a happy ending …

Brief recap: I knew David in 1996 when he had just got involved in a band called Grosvenor. They eventually morphed into Luxembourg who were active from the early 00′s up until 2008 (their unreleased 2nd album is free to  download here on Last FM) and my friend Cheryl recommended them to me a few years ago as she knows my musical tastes. I loved their album and then realised who their lead singer was, in one of those Small World moments that seem to happen. Luxembourg ended and David started the Melting Ice Caps, releasing singles via his website, much to my delight. Numerous tracks ended up on friends’ mix CDs and if I had to pick a few to recommend right now I would go for the following singles (with links for free mp3s):

Single 8 is the most recent one (download here) and includes October and My Wrong Turn which show their melancholic beautiful side off rather well.

Single 4 (download here) features Mise En Scene and Night School which are both quite demo-ish and pretty with the usual arch moments.

The gig on Thursday was part of Fry’s Unsigned (more on that here at the official site) which was for the mental health charity Mind. Unintentional rhyme there! The set included one new song plus a selection of the best of their catalogue, including stonking versions of How To Appear Well-Adjusted, Happy In Crewe, Mise En Scene and Through A Prism. The band versions are not as indie rock as the Luxembourg era but had a new energy that was well-received by the audience, especially the man in the vest who was bopping away through all the bands’ sets that night in-between taking photos. Hopefully some of those images will turn up on the Fry’s site soon.

The venue had good ale, we had a nice chat with David and I won a prize in the raffle and then we went home. It was a good night.

The Melting Ice Caps will return soon: 4th August at 229 (more information here). Very recommended if you like happy/sad wistful indie with strong songs and a sense of humour.

That nice chap from our bloggers & musicians meet earlier in the year Rod Thomas has been in the news this week with his Bright Light Bright Light debut single proper aka Love Part II which is coming soon via a combination of his own label and Popjustice’s new imprint. This man who has been called “The Disco Morrissey” (by me) brings his “introspective euphoric pop” (me again) to a bigger market than the current bloggy music geeks:

The b-side Cry At Films is fantastic and there is a free mp3 here.

Marina and the Diamonds: Oh No:

Oh yes! This must surely be the final single off the debut album though.

Cee Lo Green: No-One’s Gonna Love You:

Another potential great album to look out for from the Gnarls Barkley man … whenever it actually comes out.

Monarchy: Love Get Out Of My Way:

There’s definitely a gap in the market for a duo of Autons who make electropop instead of having the end of their hands flip over to reveal guns… hurrah for Monarchy !

Performance: Unconsoled:

Performance have had a string of great singles so I think we deserve the album now.

Bim: My friend Mr Steven ‘Middle Eight’ Sears (great blog) recommended Bim to me and they’re rather good, aren’t they? Well you’ll know if you sign up on their site for the free download of Head Over Heels. Like a more hectic Mandalay maybe. Older song Stay In My Memory is nice and acousticy:

While I’m on the musical theme, we’re going to see The Melting Ice Caps tomorrow night! With a full band! Rather bloody excited about this as they/he (complicated) is one of my two favourite newish music things of recent times. I shall report back on this… not been to a gig since Lamb in probably 2001 or something. Mostly because I dont like crowds, queues, long periods of standing up or too much noise. Yes I am a grumpy old sod.

Ah, happy memories of attending those warm-ups , recordings and schmooze-a-thons with nibbles and booze.

Download Bedroom Nightclub Mixtape vol 11 here.

01. Black Box: Hold On (The Strong)

Another one of those Martha Wash-sung Italian house tracks, this time in a lovely remixed style. The vinyl album is long gone, along with all the 12″s (I swear there was a mishap with a record box as I would never have chucked them out) but there are plenty of cheap CD copies of various compilations out there.

02. DSK: Read My Lips (Original Mix)

This track has been sampled quite  a bit since its release and still exists in 12″ format in my record collection. It’s the more funky original version.

03. Kariya: Let Me Love You For Tonight

Can I say ‘house classic’? I can? Again? Oh good.

04. Climie Fisher: Rise To The Occasion (Hip Hop Remix)

Odd remix from Phil Harding (also involved in  the next  track in this mix), which consists of dull ballad + whole chunks of obscure track Rookie’s Revenge by Lou = odd sample-laden track with weird bits. Fun in a tacky way and probably bought in a long gone record shop in Brentwood High Street.

05. Mel & Kim: Respectable (Extra Beat Vocal Version)

The best version of Respectable is on none of the bloody endless M&K compilations so I made a rip of it from YouTube so it could live in my iPod.

06. Betty Boo: Doin’ The Do

I would have chosen her No Smoking Rap from the No.1 magazine flexi-disc but that might have been pushing it a bit.

07. Technotronic feat. Reggie: Money Makes The World Go Round

Ah, the long-forgotten second Technotronic album! I has this on 12″ with some good remixes but found the original in the internet so here it is. Nice corny rap halfway through.

08. Chic: Your Love (Def Mix)

The also long-forgotten second version of Chic from the 90s: this is a David Morales remix of Your Love which is rather nice.

09. Lisa Stansfield: Time To Make You Mine (Youth and The Orb Mix)

I always loved Ms Stansfield, since her pre-pop Tyne Tees Television pop show presenting days. The 12″ of Time To Make You Mine had mixes from Youth and The Orb (as you’ll hear) plus Masters At Work, how bloody versatile. Nudey video too (below)!

10. Titiyo: This Is…

Titityo’s second album is pretty good stuff and this was a single that probably hardly anybody bought. Fools!

Videos time:

Those Mail readers sure are unpleasant cunts.