I'm so behind with my comic waffle. Got a bumper week of new stuff to read so here are some highlights form the last fortnight ...

Angel comic is very hit and miss but new writer Bill 'Fables' Willingham may be able to sort it out:

Gotta love those floating purple telepathic fish. Only in comics (probably).

Buffy has also been a bit crap/good/crap recently but they 'leaked' (on purpose) a big future revelation (not spoiling it here for non-comic website geeks) and sales may go up. Anyway:

I am such a nerd.

Other odd Buffy plot (which is not a spoiler now) is the slightly iffy Xander/Dawn thing. Here's the blatant justification from Mister Whedon:

Not all my comics are TV tie-ins but...

I should stop now.

That issue of New Avengers was quite fun. Art currently being done by Stuart 'Nextwave' Immonen if that means anything to you. It does to me.

Meanwhile, Spider-Woman is still pretty but sloooooow:

She thinks too much, bless her.


While I remember, Talk About The Passion Magazine issue one arrived and is wonderful. You can buy it here and look at my column*

*Not a penis reference.

Honest.

Labels: comics

A break from the 2009 lists with some comics waffle, although these are also kind of Best Of in their own way:


Warren Ellis has been writing those X-Men geezers (and birds) this year so it's been a slightly slow at times experience with loads of good ideas thrown up in the air and some of them stuck. The current story is a bit too similar to another one going on in the same fictional universe but it's good stuff and looks pretty so all is forgiven.


Another anthology mutant title (Nation X) has a nice bit of Mike Allred art this month and some mutant urinal chat rule-breaking:

Meanwhile, over in Uncanny X-Men, Storm has gone all regal:

Psylocke is back and only slightly less convoluted than before:


DC Comics' highlight of the year has to be the current run of Detective Comics with the Bat Woman tale as it is a work of bloody art that is crying out for an oversized hard cover collection:

James Robinson's Justice League is taking shape nicely, using an interesting mix of characters. I am rather biased as I'm a massive fan of his work:

Gotta love them funny-coloured aliens!

Tomorrow will probably involve more lists of some sort.

Labels: comics

I could blog about packing up the bloody office, orgasnising a sales conference and attending it while some men move the office contents to a new location and then having to unpack it all over a period of several days, making me rather tired, but I won't. I'll show you some pretty pictures from comics instead:

Doctor 10.0 is still having fun over in those wacky comics, and is currently getting in a pickle with an Orgon, a Draconian and a Sontaran. As you do.


Mike 'Lucifer' (the comic he wrote, he is not the devil) Carey's X-Men run is a jolly good load of fun, and not just because he included a cameo from long lost (perhaps for the best) 80s character Ariel. No not that one, the other one. You know, from that Fallen Angels miniseries you've forgotten about but I remember buying in Basildon.


Meanwhile, in Gotham, District Attorney Kate Spencer (this is becoming like a Manhunter fansite) goes for a swim and meets a Dick. Mr Grayson of course.


Not a lot happened in my finally-found issue 4 of Phonogram Singles Club but they did play some good tunes.

Early period every time, none of that generic anonymous mix & match R&B tat.

So do I. I also like Phonogram. Talking of Phonogram writer Kieron Gillen...

He also writes the new S.W.O.R.D series for Marvel featuring a rather belligerent Lockheed.

It stands for Sentient World Observation and Response Department in case you were wondering. Blame Joss Whedon, he created the idea.

Labels: comics, Doctor Who

With Jamie working in sunny Milton Keynes for a couple of days (boo hiss boo) I had time to catch up on my comic reading and this might seem like an easy way to fill a blog post up with pictures but... you'd probably be right.


Astonishing X-Men still exists in a 'Continuity? What continuity?' state as it does so like its slow writers and artists which make it difficualt to place chronologically. Never mind, it currently has Phil Jiminez drawing Warren Ellis' freaky stories and he's a great fit because he can draw people and things very well indeed. The characters still have a tendency to lapse into Ellisisms occasionally but I can cope with that.


X-Factor (no not the nothing-to-do-with-music TV 'talent' show) is still consistently entertaining and amusing and the 200th issue is almost here!


While DC are bringing black loads of dead characters as super zombiefied Black Lanterns in Blackest Night, Marvel's mutants have their own dead-rising-from-graves problem in Necrosha. It could be horribly crap but so far is quite nice. Well as nice as resurrected slightly-possessed versions of old dead folks can be.


Talking of the revolving death door, Psylocke has a mini series of her own where they look like they're sorting out some of the shit done to her character since someone had the dumb idea to turn the telepathic English rose into an Asian ninja because it was more "cool."


Spider-Woman's new series sure is pretty but not a lot has actually happened yet.


Kate Spencer has pissed off Two-Face in Manhunter (in her back-up strip in that other Batman book called Streets of Gotham). Oops.


James Robinson's Justice League mini series is still going strong. I am glad to hear that Congorilla and Mikaal will be turning up in the regular series soon too, as every book deserves a super boffin gorilla and a blue gay alien Starman.

Right, time to read some more comics...

Labels: comics

I bloody love a good read, I do.

For instance James Robinson's Starman, which I will never stop wittering on about to anyone who will listen. The perfect self contained 80-odd issue series about family legacies, the value of old 'junk' and a trip into space featuring some brand new characters alongside classic DC ones from the last 60 years and set in a city that was as much a character as any of the humans. Well Robinson is currently writing Superman (which is merely alright, I was never a massive fan) and Justice League of America which is coming along just lovely...


Robinson has brought back the 1970s Starman Mikaal Tomas only to have his life pretty much destroyed by the villain of the piece. He's made friends with a bloke who is now a super intelligent and strong gorilla though so he might get through this. The latest issue has a little appearance by one of those classic DC characters that Robinson made his own: it's only the bloody Shade! :

This got me super excited. Justice League: Cry For Justice is a mini series with beautiful painted art and once this ends Robinson is on the main book. There's a nice video interview with him over at Comic Book Resources that I recommend.

The other mainstream-yet-smashing team book for me right now has to be X-Factor. Not the tedious telly talent sap-fest but a rather dysfunctional 'family' of mutants (and ex-mutants) who run a detective agency when they're not getting their friends pregnant, being trapped in an apocalyptic future, pitching in during alien invasions or other scrapes. The current volume is about to reach its 50th issue and then its numbering does that old chestnut of incorporating the old volume and jumping to issue 200:

There's an interview with writer Peter David over here for any interested parties.

In non-graphic books, Douglas Coupland has a new book out and I hope I can get through it when I buy it. I'm a bit fussy and won't waste my time if they don't grab me after the first 50 or so pages which I think is fair enough. Bonus point for his odd grumpiness in a recent Guardian interview:

When a mobile phone in a far corner of the room sets off a twinkly ring tone, he freezes again. "Oh, sometimes I really don't like 2009. Use your indoors voice, not your outdoors voice!" he exhorts under his breath, as the phone's owner begins to talk. A pair of guests pass by on the landing, talking quietly together as they walk; Coupland tenses, then relaxes in relief. "That's good," he murmurs approvingly. "They're using their indoor voices. Good."

Oh yes. I bloody hate outdoors voices used indoors, on public transport and even outdoors. Meh.

I'm currently reading Dexter By Design which is the quite recent fourth book in the series and it's coming along quite nicely. Non-spoiler: There's been a murder!

Labels: comics, Starman

So, what's been going on?

Well, I had a snotty cold which kept me awake at night making nasty green stuff...

How did that picture get there?

I went to a barbecue last weekend and a garden party on the weekend just gone. Mixing with humans two weekends in a row? With no major incidents of saying the wrong thing or an attempted adoption by someone looking for a gay best friend? Excellent! Makes up for the loneliness (and looniness) of the solo office work. Now don't get me wrong, I don't miss the joys of dealing with the public or the more petty and childish aspects of my former colleagues (ooh bitchy. But true) but some days the only thing I say is "large white Americano please." I say that only once (but I am not in a stage production of 'Allo Allo), it's not my catchphrase or anything.

Bill 'Fables' Willingham and Matthew 'Jack of Fables' Sturgess started writing Justice Society Of America, which was a bit odd:

Yes, I am weird.

I started watching Eastenders by accident and found it to be actually rather good. A well-written soap opera with character-driven plots (none of yer Hollyoaksy event-driven stuff), actors with chemistry, a whole episode devoted to just three characters the other day (which worked because of logical writing and more of that character-driven plotting which is the key to decent drama), a muslim family who don't just do stories about being muslims and a non-tedious gay character. Its only faults were some of the ever-present absurd ugly blokes getting hot women into bed (never the other way around) and some tedious soap villainy but that's what you get with yer soaps. Whatever next? Countdown? No. I leave that sort of thing to Jamie who has spent this evening watching a triple bill of Countdown, some new quiz presented by Alexander "Mr Smith, I need you!" Armstrong and Only Connect.

Normal service resumed: Marvel Divas, if judged by the cover, is a big chunk of camp cheese... or is it? Well I looked inside and found it to be not that bad. It stars Monica from Nextwave, Felicia 'Black Cat' Hardy, Patsy Walker and Angie aka Firestar, in a rather soap opera-ish Marvel (the clue's in the title) adventure where they mostly do a lot of talking:

They also do 'issues' but it was a success to this reader:

I think I recommend this.

I also recommend the almost-here Lost Stories:

The Doctor and Peri finally get to go to Blackpool after that fun on Necros in a new series of audio nonsense (I use that word in the loving way, I am a massive fan) from Big Finish. I have subscibed to this so now have three bloody Doctor Who series on the go from them.

Also coming soon:

Dollhouse is coming back and if it maintains the form of the latter part of series 1 we are in for a treat.

Ed and Oucho's Transmission Impossible has finished, leaving a cactinian gap in my weekend schedule but they are of making more Excellent Inventions episodes. They have also been turning up on other CBBC programmes as these clips show:




Oh yes.

And oh yes again.

I have run out of time and space so not going to do mini reviews of new albums by Theoretical Girl (beautiful music with an ugly cover. Very recommended and not just because she's my friend Cheryl's mate, honest), Erik Hassle (reasonable Swedish indiepop), or Calvin Harris (much better than I thought and good if you crave an early 90s dance music thing from the present. Or am I?

Labels: Big Finish, comics, Doctor Who, Dollhouse, Ed and Oucho, Music 2009

Item! Bleeding obvious from the picture but this is Miles Fisher:

My friend Ben Baker (comedy and pop pimp extraordinaire) pointed him out to me and I must say oh yes rather good etc etc even if the song I like best from his free to donwnload from his website EP is a cover. It has a very good video too.

With boobs.

Item! The Angel comic may well be redeemed with the news that one of my favourite comics people aka Bill 'Fables' Willingham is taking over the writing.

“The last thing we've found out is that Angel is now known in LA as a vampire and he's famous. So we'll see what happens when you're a hero who's suddenly so famous that, wherever he goes a crowd develops because he's famous, but then they start getting panicky because, doesn't he fight demons wherever he goes?”

That Drusilla Vampiric Look is out soon too, as part of the ongoing series. Co-written by the woman also known as Juliet Landau.

Item! Variety article makes me go "ooh": Watchmen producer Lloyd Levin has acquired screen rights to Echo, a comicbook series by Terry Moore. Deal was six figures. Echo tells the story of a photographer who is preoccupied with her personal problems until she gets doused by liquid metal from a military experiment gone awry. She discovers she can now harness the power of a nuclear bomb, and soon the military wants its walking weapon.

Terry Moore is bloody great and also created this...

...which should really have been an HBO series by now.

Item! I love a bit of literary culture, what with working in publishing and shit:

Phwoar. I do love a nice natural pretty well-mannered lady writer...

... I believe this is far more accurate.

Item! Codshit 'Journalism' Award of the week goes to the Daily Mail again:

Harry Potter boy in exclusive "revealing of big secret" to gaymosexual mag? What could it be? Surely not...?

Nah. It's this shocker: "I rather like Nick Clegg. At the next election I will almost certainly vote Lib Dem. If all the people who liked them voted for them you could change politics overnight and we could have a proper three party system."

*Gasp*

Labels: comics, Daily Mail, gays, Music 2009

It's time for mega Nerd Nonsense Comicon-related uber-geeky excitement round-up time!

This blog is sponsored by Jan Hankl's Patented Flank Pat System:



Item! The Prisoner remake is ready and looks good to these eyes. It's not spooky swirly 60s marvellous nonsense in Wales but for what it is it is good.



Item! The trailer for Dexter series 4? Oh yes!

New book on its way soon too, in that whole Earth 2 Dexterverse way.

Item! Russell T Davies has been talking about the (over) reaction to certain things what did happen in that Torchwood thing off the telly. No, not the whole giving the 10% least academic children to a freaky three-headed projectile-vomiting alien but the fourth killing off of a member of the team from the first episode:

It's not particularly a backlash. What's actually happening is, well, nothing really to be honest. It's a few people posting online and getting fans upset. Which is marvelous. It just goes to prove how much they love the character and the actor. People often say, 'Fans have got their knives out!' They haven't got any knives. I haven't been stabbed. Nothing's happened. It's simply a few people typing. I'm glad they're typing because they’re that involved. But if you can’t handle drama you shouldn’t watch it. Find something else. Go look at poetry. Poetry’s wonderful.

On accustations of homophobia (yeah, really):

I think you can forget about people picking up gay rights as an issue. It's rather like children picking up nursery blocks and waving them in the air but having no idea what it entails. We’re talking about issues in my entire life here, not just one small television program. If they did research they’d go and look at the history of gay and lesbian characters that I have put on screen. They should simply grow up, do some research, and stop riding on a bandwagon that they actually don’t know anything about.

That told 'em, Uncle Russ!

Oh... stop it.

Item! How will the delicate little Torchwood fans (do they have a group name?) cope with Caprica? Probably not well. Big Cheese Jane Espenson (remember her?) let some cats out of bags about the forthcoming Battlestar Galactica prequel:

Caprica is set in the colonies 58 years before the events that launch the BSG series (the Cylon attack). It’s the story of the events leading to the creation of the first Cylon (not the first skinjob), and the events that follow. It’s not like BSG in that it’s not a war story. It’s more serialized, with stories based in the lives of characters living in a culture that driving itself toward its own destruction.
We’ve got organized crime and religious conflict and terrorism and show business and corporate misdeeds and robots. The tone is not unlike Mad Men or Rome or Sopranos — lots of events, often dark events, but with a light enough touch to allow all the irony and denial of real life. We concentrate on two families: The Graystones and the Adamas, and the people around them.

Hmm... I do believe I might well be watching that. More nerdy shit tomorrow as my limp wrists cannot take any more typing today.

Labels: Battlestar Galactica, comics, Dexter, Geek, Torchwood

It's comic waffle day!

The Angel comic (set after the TV series and with bits of plotting imput from That Man Whedon) is never quite as good as the comics version of the show which spawned it but after recent issues being quite frankly poor the old creative team is back to move the characters on to the next phase so it deserves a mention:

Almost as good as the Buffy Season 8 comic:

Still loving every issue of this. May it never end... please?

The rather excellent Batwoman series debuted in Detective Comics with top notch writing and beautiful art and the world didn't end due to Kate Kane liking ladies...

It's a wiiiig!

Damnit. Can nobody have a successful lovelife if they also wear a cape?

Also in the Batty world we have part 2 of Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely's Batman and Robin comic with the new dynamic duo being a bit different to their predecessors:

Bloody weird comic full of fighty circus freaks. So just what you'd expect.

The first part of James 'Starman' Robinson's Justice League series finally arrived and it features one of my favourite Starmen but they waste no time in giving him a massive trauma of the relationship kind as his motivation. It's like Torchwood all over again!

*sob*

It's been a gay old month in The Comics what with X-Factor having the return of Shatterstar and a resolution of the long hinted at matter of his relationship with that Rictor bloke, as seen in the scene where some brainwashing gets undone and this happens as oon as he is himself:

Shocking! And not just because he is dressed sensibly and the ridiculous plaits and enormous phallic swords are no more (he still has a normal sword though).

1990's inexplicable uber-famous 'artist' and Shatterstar creator Rob Liefeld took time out from not drawing feet, indulging his gritted teeth fetish, illustrating women as gigantic-bazooked creatures with ankles so thin that the weight of their cleavage alone would make them topple over (kind of like a less orange but super-powered Katie "Don't call me Jordan... oh alright then" Price) to say “I have nothing against gays, I have gay family, nuthin’ but love here. Ditto gay characters if that’s what their true origins are. As the guy that created, designed and wrote his first dozen appearances, Shatterstar is not gay. Sorry. Can’t wait to someday undo this. Seems totally contrived... Shatterstar is akin to Maximus in Gladiator. He’s a warrior, a Spartan, and not a gay one.”

Hmm... let's no go into the whole Gay Spartans territory right now. Liefeld could have also had issues with the developments in the other characters he created for Marvel as they too were just shouty fighty teeth-gritting cliches when he was in charge of them. Maybe he did but that wasn't big news like a Oh-My-God-Super-Dudes-Kissing!

X-Factor has been the most consistently well written of all the Marvel mutant titles (and most other titles come to think of it) and is soon to reach its 50th issue. Writer Peter David put his opinion on the 'shocking' developments when asked:

"As for their relationship, I really had three options: 1) I could continue to play coy. 2) I could contradict it. 3) Or I could build on it. In light of such anti-gay activities as Prop 8, option 1 seemed kind of insulting and out-of-touch. Option 2 seemed gutless (what, was I so weirded out by the notion that I would feel the need to toss out what previous writers had done?). On that basis alone, option 3 seemed the way to go."

"Rictor is still the moody former mutant who believes he’s useless and yet keeps happening to save the day; Shatterstar is still a badass warrior. If we don’t spend every issue dwelling on the sex life of the straight characters, I’m not sure why anyone thinks we’d feel the need to do so with characters that are gay or, for that matter, bi."

So there. Nothing to see here, move on, get a girlfriend, etc. Or a boyfriend.

Labels: comics

Comics catch-up time led to some great new little bits of mini books with pictures being read, which is always nice. Maybe too many knowing winks to popular culture that will look horribly dated for the next generation but what the hell...

Paul Cornell's Captain Britain and MI13 may have been axed by Marvel (fools) but his Young Avengers mini series has something of the Harry Hill about it:



... and fight they did.

My beloved Manhunter got axed for the third and final time a while back (I am a curse on comics like I am with TV) but it's back as a back-up strip in one of those new maybe slightly unnecessary Batman comics...

... Kate is in Gotham so it makes sense. With art by Buffy Season 8 artist supreme Georges Jeanty (nice) and written as ever by Marc Andreyko (ditto).

Phonogram Singles Club issue 3: They're sill at the club (of course)...

... because it's all set there and each issue is from a different character's point of view.

Please support your indie comics.

Forget about X-Men (well don't, I quite like it) the most consistent mutant title is X-Factor...

... it manages to juggle multiple plots, chooses interesting characters and comes out on time.

Uncanny X-Men improves this week, helped by having an artist who can draw things (no weird traced porno women and poor visual story telling, oh no) ...

... and a nice big issue that contains a full story. Which is good news.

Labels: comics

It's Sunday and I am trapped in my room while Jamie does more work for work and my dad does more tiling for our bathroom. Occasional banging and drilling (ooer) means my reading of Under The Skin (halfway throught now and it is a proper book and everything) gets distracting so I shift to catching up on the Phonogram comics. Yes real comics not collected editions. Gotta support the indies and so I bought them on my London trip on Friday where I went for drinks and lots of chips & wedges with old bookshoppy people and micro-celeb spotted Denise Black from Queer As Folk in the pub and Rikki Beadle-Blair from all sorts of theatre and TV stuff in the newsagent next to Fopp where I bought a Snickers. It's a showbiz whirl, so it is.

Stuff of interest this week:


The Saint Etienne deluxe reissues begin and one of them is more of an 'issue' as Continental has never been out in the UK. My pirated copy will soon go in the bin when I get the real thing. It's got some of my favourite tracks on it plus some that have never even been released anywhere ever. Also out at the same time: Foxbase Alpha. That'll be my third purchase of it (I think the cassette lives in a dusty drawer) but I have deluxe fever and it has new songs called Chase HQ, Sally Space, The Reckoning, Sweet Pea and Winter In America.

If I was drunk I would have bought this in London:

Christopher Eccleston miniature Hero? With wallet, staff and pigeon? Who could resist?

Well me actually. Although I loved this week's BBC2 episode.

Another week, another last week's The Apprehensive episode.

Pants. Etc.

Other thrilling events this week include the moment I realised that eating a yogurt whose lid had puffed up and tasted a bit funny was probably not a good idea, the moment where I realised that all the bottles of Kopparberg pear cider in my cupboard were of the previously-unheard-of non-alcoholic variety (why? why? why?) and the moment that this wek's episode of Dollhouse was rather good and surprising again. Which means of course that it will be scrapped as I am a sucker for those prematurely-cancelled telly shows.

Labels: comics, Heroes, London, Pigeon, pub, The Apprentice

Hurrah, it is Friday again and it's been a busy week. My first London Book Fair where my feet were ruined by grown-up shoes but I experienced the joy of lumberjack chips in the pub, tons of Christmas Highlights kits for head office buyers to look at, a whole load of printing and a fair amount of doing stuff on Amazon meant it was busy busy busy but it had a great soundtrack: new Patrick Wolf album leaked (an essential purchase for June, lots of mad beats, funny instruments, good storng melodies and peculiar voice bits), the Noisettes album was released (I bought it as it is so much better than their first one and quite disco-y in a good way), some new Jarvis Cocker tracks landed on the internet (that 8/1 blog is rather smashing) plus the pants song from The Apprentice of course.

Oh no, I fogrot to eat my Wake Up Call this morning. This might explain the pants problem. Brilliant cereal box design though. Honest.

I have become slightly obsessed with prematurely cancelled (by Fox of course) early 00's comedy Undeclared.

Maybe because, like The Inbetweeners, some of it reminds me of awful people I have known. The terrible music fight in the linked clip especially so as I once shared a house with a couple of not-at-all-from-the-hood white blokes who only played hip hop and only played it very loudly. Very Westwood (Tim not Vivienne).

Obligatory comics recommendations (mutants spesh):

I still love X-Factor even if the art team changes every other issue. No it is not the talent show off the telly. It is quite camp sometimes though with the fabulous bitchy one.

Meanwhile, in Uncanny X-Men where artist Greg Land is still copying images from catalogues and porn:

Uh-oh! Obligatory continuity-messing sort-of-resurrection alert!

Also: gays and stuff... at least good old Northstar is a stroppy one. Who could blame him after he was killed by a brainwashed Wolverine then resurrected as a zombie by evil ninjas only to be somehow restored to normality in an ending I must have forgotten about?

So... what's going on with Dollhouse? Well it improved bloody loads after a few episodes which wasn't hard as it started very badly. But now it might be dead or might be alive. Well it is on Fox. Damn rumours...

What's that? The Daily Express reckon Gillian Anderson from The X-Files is going to be playing The Rani in Doctor Who? Hmmm...

In other news, the new Big Finish play (story 1 of 3 of the McCoy mini season) was damn fine, I wore shorts outside today (which is not right), bought a part for my oven in a shop for men (an electrical shop) successfully and made my first vegeburger mix burgers. They were yummy.

Labels: comics, Music 2009, office manager, Patrick Wolf

I've been a bit lazy writing about The Apprentice but everyone else has taken up that role so well. This week I have mostly been not using my Wii Fit but wondering if the home gym machine contraption the Apprentices had to invent would be more fun....

Hmmm... that'll be a "no" then. I could be all obvious and talk about Ben with his wanker braces, twat socks and horrible smug 'I would go fuck myself if I actually could' face but instead it's gotta be Maj. Or Madge as I want to type his name... "Me and my friends from school have set up a theatre company called One Life. We go around schools doing plays on knife crime and workshops. We all came from the rough area of Coventry, we didn't go to the best schools and we came up with idea of educating youngsters on how we succeeded. We wanted to let them know that there is another way out. Knife crime is so rife in the UK right now it's unreal. We are hopefully doing something that gets youngsters off the street and change their lives. We want them to realise there's so much they can do if they put their minds to it."

Maj is in the real Legz Akimbo?

This week's Apprehensive video is not up yet so here's last week's:


Comics highlight:

Doctor Who Big Finish 'coming soon' highlights:


Irony highlight:

Danny Dyer (multi-ranged star of The Football Factory, Doghouse, Dead Man Running, Outlaw, Severance, The Business, Mean Machine...) told some tabloid "Mathew Horne is one of the worst actors I've ever seen in my life. Corden's obviously OK but Mathew was terrible in The Catherine Tate Show. He's just got nothing about him, the geezer. No substance and no depth. It annoys me a bit that no one's clocked that. I'm not trying to do anyone out of a pound note, I just think they're s**t. Mat is absolute rubbish."

Hmmm... while I am no fan of Horne's work (I would have chosen the word "tedious" if I was Danny "hard man" Dyer) I was amused to see that Dyer is secure in his own highly versatile talent to criticise a fellow thespian for having no substance and depth... but at least he is not trying to take hard-earned money that has been out of circulation for 25 years away from his fellow actors. Phew. Don't send a hard man round to my house please Mister Dyer.

It's not quite cancer but...

Shocking news from the Daily Mail! Pupils who spend time doing other things when they should be doing that studying they should be doing will do worse in exams... says an expert.
Experts have confirmed what parents and teachers already feared - youngsters who use Facebook do worse in exams... The American research found that Facebook rituals, including building an empire of friends, adding applications, joining groups and 'poking' other users, can swallow up hours of study time. Some users were spending as little as an hour a week on academic work. 'Our study shows people who spend more time on Facebook spend less time studying,' said Aryn Karpinski, a researcher in the education department at Ohio State University.

Eating cakes instead of studying means less studying, picking your nose instead of studying means less studying, having a wank instead of studying means less time studying, reading stupid Daily Mail stories instead of studying means less time studying...

University student D**** Jones, 21, said: 'I was in the library trying to write a 2,000-word essay when I realised my Facebook habit had got out of hand. I couldn't resist going online. You do that, then someone's photo catches your eye. Before you know it, a couple of minutes has turned into a couple of hours and you haven't written a thing.'

There's always gotta be a stupid person to use as an example. Thanks, Miss Jones.

Labels: Big Finish, comics, Daily Mail, The Apprentice

Another week, another sales conference. My glamorous job in the world of publishing means I get lovely yummy cnapaes and wine from rather good caterers, unlike the ones those feckin' Apprentices made this week on the telly:

Mmmmmm lettis!

I am so glad the return of The Inbetweeners lived up to my expectations:

There'll be complaints from fish people, mark my words.

It's Comic Catch-Up Weekend. Unless I get horribly addicted to Wii Fit Hula Hoop again, but my muscles (yes I have some) have only just recovered from my last session. I may have a great BMI but my Wii Fit age is sometimes 'pensioner.' Anyway, comics:

Peter took his mask off (again but for the first time. Oh don't ask) and Jessica remembered him from the retcon in Alias. Which was nice, if rather geeky.

Buffy issue 23 was a return to form...


Did I imagine this? No, it is here for all to see:

Fuck me, that makes K9 & Company look good!

Tools of the week are the residents of an 'affluent' village formed a human chain to stop the Google car taking pictures of their lovely big houses for Street View as they were concerned about burglaries and then talked to the Daily Mail who published loads of photos of their lovely houses:

"I ran outside to flag the car down and told the driver he was not only invading our privacy but also facilitating crime. This is an affluent area. If our houses are plastered all over Google it's an invitation for burglars to strike. I don't mind estate agents taking pictures but this shows people how to get in and how to get out. I was determined to make a stand so I called the police."

Surely somebody should have pointed out their fail at missing the point?

Labels: Buffy, comics, Daily Mail, Inbetweeners, office manager

Hello Blogfans. I am rather busy having a life for once (whatever next?) although that life mostly involves working (boo) so here are some things that excited me this week:

Comic Relief! 21 Radio Times covers to collect! Etc! LOLz!
I bought the Harry Hill cover as it was not Simon Pegg. One cover is enough for me.


Caprica! Someone had the clever idea of bringing the pilot out on DVD (in June) so the fanboys can decide if it's good or Dollhouse. We shall see...


New Mutants! After 32 failed young mutant series, Marvel are bringing back the old lot. This picture is new (by Alex Ross) but they will look a bit older than that. I shall give it a go.


Mission To Magnus! (Google it but if you are going to be interested you'll already know what it is. Clue: Big Finish, full cast, audio play, 'missing' Season 23, nerdgasms.


Red shoes and blue suit with brown coat! And that lady from all the telly and theatres! With a Robot Wars thing?

Labels: Battlestar Galactica, Big Finish, comics, Doctor Who, Mitchell and Webb

Neil Gaiman's Batman has arrived! The man Gaiman has been busy with films and shit (lots of Twittering about the Coraline premiere) but he's done a nice job here:

Also out and about is more of that Buffy stuff. Some more of the old TV writers have been turning up recently but the Harmony issue was quite crappy last month.


Meanwhile, in time and space...

From the publicity: In The Whispering Gallery, the TARDIS lands in a maze-like gallery filled with thousands of talking pictures, and the Doctor and Martha discover they've come across a planet where showing emotion has been outlawed. The inhabitants have good reason for their supression, but it wouldn't be like the Doctor to leave them in fear of truly living.

IDW are getting good at the old Who comics, and Tony Lee (who did the recent miniseries) should be back soon. His Twitterings are fun too, and not just when at a Doctor Who convention that involves a special game of Just A Minute and saying how lovely Nicola Bryant is.

Talking of the Who creators, Paul Cornell is writing a Dark Reign: Young Avengers mini series for Marvel! He's already doing one of their best titles (Captain Britain and MI:13), proving Marvel are no dunces.

Also making me "oooh": Manhunter may be dead but the cast have got new jobs: In Streets of Gotham, you’re going to get a chance to see the supporting cast of Batman’s world, meaning that you’re going to see Batgirl and Huntress and also the new DA of Gotham City, Miss Kate Spencer.

&

"The fun part about Escape for me is that you’re going to see a lot of familiar faces in some very unfamiliar situations, and the primary leads of Escape are Nemesis and Cameron Chase, and you’re finding out that they are being held against their will by the Global Peace Agency as they last appeared in Final Crisis."

Excellent.

Talking of Manhunter...

The Shield's Michael Chiklis and writer Anny Beck have teamed up to bring “Olympus” to IDW Publishing later this year. The new series is set for 6 or 7 issues with Marc Andreyko writing and an as yet unnamed artistic team, to be edited by IDW Special Projects editor Scott Dunbier. “Olympus” is a classic battle between father and son. In a world similar to ours, in the not too distant future, the human race is struggling and looking for answers to all the problems that plague them. The world finds their answer when the Greek god Cronus returns. The once failing world’s fortunes change with Cronus guiding their way to a life of prosperity and relative peace. However, that turn of events is not long-lived as Cronus grows mad with power and the world suffers as a consequence. It’s at this point that his son Zeus returns, to challenge his Father and save the world from his growing evil.

Hmm....

And in a alt-maneouvre of the above method:

Writer Brian Michael Bendis has confirmed that the Powers television series is in active development as a pilot for FX. Bendis had teased in September that the adaptation might be bound for the cable network, home to such dramas as The Shield, Rescue Me and Damages.
“I just handed in a draft to the network and we’re getting our notes from the network as soon as this thing is over,” Bendis told MTV’s Splash Page today. “So next week I’ll get the notes, and as long as they don’t involve sock puppets and some sort of orgy scene that I’m not interested in, then hopefully it will go in the right direction.”

There's a lot of to-ing and fro-ing between the comics and the teevee this year.

Not off the telly:

Terry Moore's run on Runaways is almost over. Shame, but there's still Echo to buy. And you should.

Keith Giffen is doing Doom Patrol! “I’m a freak. You are a freak. OK, then why don’t you go live in a cave? If I thought I was a freak I wouldn’t put on a costume and go fight crime. There has got to be a rationale to that. It’s like the leap between superpowers and wearing spandex. I can’t cover it in my head. I’d probably do the Spider-Man thing and get my uncle killed. But he was wearing spandex. It’s trying to connect a couple of dots there from you think you are a freak and you are reclusive by nature. And because you are in Doom Patrol, you’re not necessarily going to all the superhero mixers. So why are you doing this at all?"

Next: Will Whedon's (no not Wil Wheaton) Dollhouse be any good? Word on the street is that episode 1 is a bit "meh" but 2 is better. We shall see, I hope for the best... even with the Fox connection.

Labels: Buffy, comics, Doctor Who, Manhunter, Twitter

No Daily Mail today. Bored of their pathetic attempts at outrage over Teh Gays and foreign-looking types. Instead: a round-up of recent comics what I have read:


Warren Ellis continues his Astonishing X-Men tale, with pretty pretty pictures, weird panels and Warren Ellis-y dialogue. The plot's not bad too, it's like the X-Men have been plonked in the middle of an issue of Planetary. Now there's an unfinished comic I had almost fogotten about.


The other great Mutant (ish) book at Marvel is of course Paul Cornell's consistently great Captain Britain & MI:13 aka Pete and Dane and Faiza and Blade and Lady Jac. The first story is out in a collected edition and it's marvellous fun British superhero-ey stuff.



Oh no. The Very Bad Thing that we must not spoil happened in the other other great mutant comic aka X-Factor. No, not the shitty TV talent show but they have enough sob stories to keep the unimaginative people who like that sort of thing all tingly inside.


Oh yeah, Illyana is back from the dead (ish) again. With horns. Sort of. It's X-Infernus, innit?


Not a mutant book, Mighty Avengers refocuses to bring you a new post-Secret Invasion team made up of very Avengers-y characters. Hank's now The Wasp and Jocasta is back, with that whole Her Personality Is Based On His Dead Wife's Brain Patterns thing being the new elephant in the room.

Special mention to Manhunter with its final issue:

I had to get some gays into this post somehow after all :-)

Labels: comics, Manhunter

In the real world, I went to Old Work's post-Christmas Christmas party last night...

... and I liked it. Then today I had another sodding stuffy nose lurgry headache and went blind from too much computering so I came home early and recovered with tea and cuddles. And nice shower gel and moisturiser. Mmmm...

I was never interested in the franchise until the current volume. Maybe it's because a certain robot stars?


How can Marvel Zombies 3 fail?


Spider-Man: Not gay.


Buffy issue 21 wasn't really very good, maybe because it was a bad idea.

24 is back but I haven't had time to watch more than the first episode. No "damnit!"s and no Chloe but Janeane Garofalo seems to be channeling her a little bit. Plus: Jack threatens someone with a biro, Tony is ZOMG alive and a baddie!


I am quite excited about Big Finish's 2009 Doctor Who schedule. So much so, I subscribed. With the return of Susan Foreman (with Doctor 8.0), some guff about the Key To Time, and a forthcomig tale featuring those chaps from The Talons of Weng-Chiang as just three of the things worth mentioning , it's all rather nice. They have a new podcast on iTunes which should tempt any geeks.

And Daleks. Always Daleks.

I've been Twittering, ever since the thing with the real comedian turning up to dispute the fake comedian. It's odd (Facebook for the short attention span generation) but I like it.

Bonus video:

I am not pulling any shapes myself as I'd probably pull something else and go ouch.

Off to Prague tomorrow. With hats and jumpers...

Labels: Big Finish, comics, Doctor Who, Twitter

What a stoopid day. The office building had a weird semi-powercut so the electroinic key fob reader on the door was deactivated. Trust me to come in early on that morning and have to stand outside freezing my everythings off for an hour until the caretaker arrived. Still, it gave me a chance to meet some of the other people who work in the building and rather worryingly they knew who I meant when I described "the person with the disgusting cough" , "annoying shouty mobile phone man who always has a loud financial crisis" and "sweary angry mobile phone woman who I think has relationship problems" when I mentioned the voices I hear outside my door. Oops. Internet came on around 11, phones around 2 and lights at 3. What fun!

I empathise with the Black Widow, and recommend the new Captain America comic.

That Mark Millar is a cheeky bastard...

and Manhunter will be sorely missed.

Other lowlights today? The worst omelette I have ever eaten, the dirtiest bus I have ever travelled on and the worst episode of Hollyoaks. Not good bad , just bad. As many of you would expect no doubt.

My comedy nerd credentials came in handy at the pub quiz last night with the question about who was Britney Spears' first husband....


And just because I can, here's a picture of Kevin Zegers pretending to be having a poo and looking pretty:

How confusing.

Labels: comics, office manager, pub quiz

More end of year lists, and why not?



Doctor Who
Catherine Tate really did not ruin the show at all. Opposite of ruined.

Battlestar Galactica
Still miserable as sin most of the time but gripping none the less.

Lost
Back on track after a dodgy season. Heroes please take note.

The Inbetweeners
Sitcom of the year. Thank you Ben Baker, for showing me that the trailers were a bit misleading.

Harry Hill's TV Burp
Always fun.

Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Inevitably high-scoring nerdfest.

Tarvu
It's so easy to join!

That Mitchell & Webb Look
Series 2 was shown on TV and series 3 was made at the BBC. Still lots to laugh at.

The Dark Knight
The only time I went to the cinema in 2008. Great comic film with bad audience.

Underbelly
Violent Australian gangster series on cable. I am not a stereotype :-)

Hole In The Wall
Bring on the wall! Honorary 11th place in my top 10 because it is just uncomplicated fun.




All Star Superman by Grant Morrison & Frank Quitely (DC Comics)
A great Superman comic? Really? Yes, and there have been others recently. How odd.

The Writer's Tale by Russell T Davies and Benjamin Cook (BBC books)
Bloody big book took a lot of my evenings away when it came out. Essential geek writer tome.

Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman (Penguin books )
My holiday book that kept me amused. Corny as hell but loved it.

Manhunter by Marc Andreyko and Michael Gaydos (DC comics)
Superheroish favourite character of mine. Poor old Kate Spencer, cancelled yet again :-(

Fables by Bill Willingham and Mark Buckingham (Vertigo/DC comics)
A secret fairytale character society living in America? So much better than you might think.

Ex Machina by Brian K Vaughan and Tony Harris (Wildstorm/DC comics)
Political saga with a mayor who can talk to machines written by that guy? Excellent.

Talk About The Passion (interwebz)
What more does the enquiring mind need to read? My weekday lunch break highlight but I am biased.

Buffy Season 8 by Joss Whedon & Georges Jeanty and others (Dark Horse comics)
How to do a successful TV spin-off comic. Angel, take note.

Mailwatch (interwebz)
It's PC Brigade gone mad in a handcart or something. Ban this sick filth!

Freddie & Me by Mike Dawson (Jonathan Cape books)
A surprising lovely cartoony biography set to the music of Queen. Yes, really.

Labels: 2008, comics, telly

Comics highlights this week include:

The Phonogram Singles Club...

They appear to have a thing for The Pipettes this month.

Nerd stories that caught my eye include Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas (no, not that one)'s new show which reunites some Mars alumni (well, Dick and Vinnie Van Lowe, plus Bill from lost telly classic Freaks & Geeks. Oh yes, nerd factor 10! Old Mars guest star Paul Rudd is involved in the production side of the show, as are quite a few other boffins.

Did I mention this?

Well...

Anyway, never mind that musical hilarity, I am having a holiday in January. Oh yes, and abroad* too! I am almost excited... :-)

*Where those dirty foreigners who steal our jobs and women live.

Labels: comedy, comics, Flight Of The Conchords

So much for me thinking I wouldn't be hectic at Christmas time n the new(ish) job that is not based in a bookshop. Busy is good though but ouch my achey back,arms and leg. Yes only one of them. I realised that I still do not like most delivery drivers, especially ones who deliver bulk boxes for a living but do not have a trolley or any other kind of thing that moves boxes because this is of course the customer's fault. Yes.

Anyway, Doctor Who?

The artwork may have changed halfway through the story (boo hiss boo!) but there are still some nerdy in-jokes to be found in Doctor Who: The Forgotten.

Audio highlight of the month is this:

Whatever happened to Sara Kingdom? "She got horribly dead-ed by Daleks in that very long story which they then lost most of!" I hear you cry. Well yes but...

Marvel's Secret Invasion came to a slightly patchy end around the same time that Batman RIP went a bit "huh?" too but I promised not to mention that.


X-Factor is still good, and the art has changed back to someone who can draw people, which is nice:


There is another X-Factor, allegedly. On the telly. It is a competition for the greatest musical minds of their generation to compete for a chance to launch their own record label which they will micro-manage and release all those songs they have stored up just waiting for that big moment.

Just kidding, it's a puppet show made flesh, with evil puppetmasters manipulating fools into doing karaoke when not busy crying, weeping, wailing and doing that funny thing with their hand that seems to control the pitch of their voice. The contestants scare me:

The future of music? Hmmm...

Last week they spent the entire show sobbing and having group hugs:

What is wrong with people? There are so many great bands and artists just waiting to be discovered out there but they prefer the musical equivalent of chicken nuggets. Gah!

I must have played this track at least fourteen times. Thanks, iTunes play counter!

I am off to sunny The Midlands later for an evening as an IT wife. Yes, it's Christmas! I might report back with some pictures, although they might just be of cakes.

Labels: Christmas, comics, Doctor Who

Busy busy busy... sales conferences, Christmas bookshop orders, new music overload, addiciton to new Tesco vegetarian jellybeans, addiction to Amazon Marketplace, books everywhere, new shirt nipple chafing incident, too much coffee, loads of TV shows being axed (Pie Man! Noooo!) , loads of comics being axed (Kate Spencer! Noooo!) , disappointing new episodes of American sitcoms, Christmas shopping, missing Mitchell & Webb recording, sleep deprivation, sleep improvement, blah blah blah... What a long tiny blog that was.

Anyway, I never did get round to showing last week's comic highlights, did I?

Batman is still all over the place, with too many titles and too many v important 'incidents' seemingly happening at the same time but the key stuff is still rather good.


Cancelled: Nightwing and Birds of Prey... but there are bound to be some new titles to replace them that will start off popular and then slide back to the old numbers.


DC's Justice Society of America is still the best superhero title out there, and the specials that are coming out at the moment ae keeping the momentum going rather nicely. This panel is from Alex Ross' first fully self-written and drawn comic. Ever.


Manunter. Poor old Manhunter. You bastards.


Marvel Zombies 3 is actually a lot of fun. So there. Maybe it's the robots.

Next week: The Musical Review Of The Year. And cake, hopefully.

Labels: comics

I had about 6 consecutive sleep hours last night so I am nothing like how I was yesterday, i.e. the body of a pensioner and the brain of a retarded child. Bloody insomnia is a curse, I have no idea how I managed a day at work yesterday but took the opportunity to phone some friends who just happened to work in bookshops that were on the list I made for potential signing sessions for a famous author. Hurrah for the fleshy ones!

Today is another of my odd one day holidays (I don't want or need a whole week off before Christmas as nobody exists to cover my job but that's fine) so I am catching up on all those little things like downloading new music (new Duke Special album sneaked past me but Amazon have it in stock, I must stop clicking there as I have purchased about 10 CDs from there in the last month) and reading comics. Currently listening to that (leaked) Britney Spears album and it could be anyone singing it. I suppose that's what makes the Photoshopped robotic one so versatile (some decent pop songs though) ... unlike this week's new artist Val Emmich (brought to my attention by a certain musical blog) who's much more 'real' and even sent me a nice hello on a certain social networking site.

It turns out he was in 30 Rock last year (as Liz Lemon's too-young boyfriend) but he's mostly a musician and not a robot.

Quite nice, so I bought his new album. Damn you, Amazon!

Is it wrong of me to find this funny?

Dr. Manhattan: Thong Version. Damn DC prudes!

Weirdest telly moments of the week:
Ally McBeal mucking up her chance at adopting Greggs' (no, not the bakers, the detective) from The Wire's unborn child on Brothers & Sisters. And the news that President Laura Roslin is going to star in Grey's Anatomy as a surgeon with Asperger's syndrome. What?

Not that I would watch the televisual equivalent of those Mills & Boon medial romance books.

I've never been much of a Trekkie but the Star Trek trailer looked quite good...

Shame about a certain Scottish accent, and I am worried that I have a man crush on the new Captain Kirk.

We are off to the Mitchell & Webb screening at that venue with the frisky security procedures and doctors' waiting room-style bar. The squeezy beerz are on me!

Labels: Battlestar Galactica, comics, Geek, Music 2008, office manager

Some things that have been exciting me this week:


Dead Like Me is almost back, on DVD, in America, minus several of the cast but it's still back. Soon (February). I think I blogged about this about a year ago when I still used MySpace (geh!) , and it still has no Mandy Patinkin, and Laura Harris' Daisy is now played by Sarah Wynter who oddly enough played her sister when they were both in 24. Back when it used to be good.


Doctor Who magazine is out today and is very Briagadier-y. The most exciting thing in it is a little mention of the next Paul McGann / Sheridan Smith series from Big Finish, coming in March with added cliffhangers and weekly downloady stylee. It's sometimes a bit hit and miss but mostly fun, and I wonder if I can tempt you with the following: Guest appearances from Andrew 'Don't mention the Satanic Sluts' Sachs, Nigel 'Neil' Planer, Miriam 'off the telly' Margolyes, Colin 'that one set in the library' Salmon, and Sophie 'Big Suze' Winkleman, with some old school monsters like the Krynoids (shuffling veg monsters in audio format, hurrah) and Wirrn. Can I? I know I can.


The Mitchell & Webb DVD came out, eventually, and I remembered to buy it. I like spotting myself on DVD extras. I'm so vain...

Watchmen posters are out and about.

Hmm...

One of my favourite bands of 2008, Uh Huh Her, have a new video:

But where's the UK release date for the bloody album, huh?

Have another video. Why not?

Labels: comics, Doctor Who, Music 2008

What is it with that paper and the worst kind of women? The ones who get given huge sums of money to just bitch and moan about other women week after week after week? Head of Girl Power at the Mail must surely be Amanda Platell who really should be more aware of the glass house that she lives in. Here are some highlights from today's column, with the bold type added by me ...


•In a cruel twist of fate, Channel 4 has ditched the experienced presenter of 10 Years Younger, Nicky Hambleton-Jones, and replaced her with someone seven years younger - Myleene Klass, arguably the dullest woman on TV. They've even given the revamped show a new name, 10 Years Younger: The Challenge. Dare I suggest that the real challenge will be for the producers to get the shapely but dim Ms Klass to say anything even vaguely interesting in the course of an entire TV series.

• Whatever insults Madonna threw at him - that he was a grasping and emotionally abusive husband - Guy Ritchie has never wavered in his determination to get proper access to Rocco and adopted baby David. Now he's hired the finest children's lawyer in the country to battle to keep them in Britain. Like Paul McCartney before him, he's determined to carry on playing an active role in his children's lives - even if it ends up costing him millions in the divorce courts. Why is it that Madge, like Mucca, seems equally determined to prevent her ex from doing so?
Answer: Because women like them are selfish, spiteful and prepared to put their own desires before their children's needs.

• Michelle Obama the new Jackie O? Not with that frock she wore on the big night, arguably the most hideous acceptance outfit in the history of the free world. No, I suspect Mrs Obama will be more like Cherie Blair - her cleverness matched only by her chippiness, her humble beginnings rammed down our throats at every opportunity. 'My number one job as First Lady is to be Mom first,' she has said. In which case, why has she spent the most formative years of her daughters' lives as a highly paid hospital administrator?

• In an article for this paper, Ulrika Jonsson asked: 'How can I protect my daughter in a society that sexualises children?' A bit rich coming from someone who's been so free with her affections she's got four children by four different dads.

• A fabulous looking Lulu celebrates her birthday and says the secret of staying young is 'to be more open about your experiences'. Perhaps she'd like to start by explaining how it is that she doesn't have a single wrinkle at 60.







Well I know I was taking the piss with my comment...

In other exciting news, we went to Westfield, which is not a shopping centre but a retail destination. Or something. I bought a mac (the coat, not the sexy computer) and a shirt, went mad at Nut Hut and Cheryl spotted a giant horse in Habitat:

Then we went to the BBC again and queued outside again and went to studio 8 again and saw That Mitchell & Webb Look again. It was funny again and I will write about it again on the other blog again.

And finally:

The new issue of Angel is out. Lovely cover, crappy interior. Bugger.

Labels: comics, Daily Mail, Joss Whedon, That Mitchell And Webb Look

It's the lazy catch-up blog at the end of the busy week. I have had adventures in Freecycle (learning how people get uppity when they do not reply for 3 hours because they are "having a nap" and lose out on their goodies and wondering just how to reply to the greeting of "Hare Krishna!"), adventures in headaches, adventures in being bloody freezing and adventures in over-filled paninis. All good stuff but what about the comics, eh?


Spidey is back on form and there are Goblins about...

The X-Men's Emma is all Warren Ellis-ed so speaks in pithy remarks far more than usual. But I like it.

(Captain Britain and) MI13 are Paul Cornell-ed which is a bit like being Ellis-ed. But I also like it.

The first good Doctor Who comic in years continues with loads more references to the past. Nerdgasms ahoy!

But what about the tabloids?

So what would mopping with a mop made of onions do for one's health, oh World's Greatest Newspaper?

I am not going to talk about that Ross/Russ phonecall stuff apart from I ain't never even seen it yet I am disgusted and they should be burnt. Isn't that the correct response? It is over in Daily Maily Land:

John left the country because of it. Good riddance.

Laraine (spelling error?) has a funny thing for her caps lock. And is a loon.

Frank has read too many Mail stories about stealth taxes. And is a more than a little bit racist and sexist with it.

Chris is in France so has no right to such a bonkers opinion.

Opinions are like arseholes...

Labels: comics, Daily Express, Daily Mail

Labels: comics

What a busy week! I had a (working) day out yesterday and a 10 hour madness shift back in the office today to catch up. Nothing of today would be blogworthy, even receiving my complimentary Jade Goody book. Tuesday was more fun, what with stupidly fiddling with my iPod before going into the bank and letting my cheque blow away, leaving me to chase it around a small park just off the main road. I doubt 1980s Village has seen such fun since that timethe dish ran away with the spoon. Loving the £2.50 Lunch though: Crusty bap, large coffee and some kind of cake or pastry. It's like Ashes To Ashes without the "hilarious" sexism and racism.


The trip to London included lots of bus rides that could have been beaten by walking. I hate the place and am glad I'm mostly rid of it. I wouldn't dare complain about one of our delays which was due to a road being cordoned off by police looking at a big red smear in the road. I later found out that a poor cyclist had been knocked down by a lorry and killed. That was my first experience of a death scene and the Daily Mail readers didn't let that stop them having a typically friendly discussion on the story:

"Do not know details of this terrible accident but all i know is that most cyclists ignore all road signals and lights."- Mike, London,England, 25/9/2008 10:33

"A tragedy for sure...but what's the betting she was one of the majority of London cyclists who blithely run every red light they come across?"- Spencer, London, UK, 25/9/2008 12:11

What nice people!


Soundtrack tip for bad commuting on the tube: Antony and the Johnsons. Listening to Hitler In My Heart, The Atrocities or Bird Guhrl while getting sardined is strangely refreshing. Any other trannsexually songs with lots of religious iconography will also do the job.


I think whoever made the new Morningwood video has been to see a certain musical with puppets. Oh yes.

I had some very nice but very tiny yummy finger food last night at a certain famous Indian chef's book launch. Is it rude to take three mini paneer on tiny toasts at once from the waiter? I did a bit of schmoozing and had a few cocktails but was tired after sales meetings at Tate Britain, Waterstones, WHSmith HQ (mostly gays), Foyles, another Waterstones and, oh you get the idea. We also went past my old old bookshop which is also being regenerated into a bookshop with a big W on it.

I sneaked off to Forbidden Planet and bought the newly-released first hardback of Gotham Central, the latest issue of Manhunter and volume one of Terry Moore's Echo. All very good I am sure. Also nipped into HMV for the Saint Etienne singles and Zavvi where Juno was on the 3 for £20 DVD deal. Next was Fopp where I found myself staring at Patrick Wolf browsing DVDs with his friend. Weirdly enough, I had been after his first album but instead found the Magic Position for a fiver. As I am actually quite shy I left him alone.

He is very tall and had funny trousers.

I am so upset about Ruth Kelly pissing off*.

Tomorrow is the grand re-opening of my old shop as it has now fully regenerated. I wonder if it now owns a flute and occasionally wears a pointy hat?


It's not new but I love the video for Bryn Christopher's Smilin'. So I do.


*yeah, right, but I like The Daily Mash's view of the whole saga.

Labels: comics, Daily Mail, London, office manager, Patrick Wolf, public transport

How lazy would it be for me to fill this up with comic panels & covers?

Angel: After The Fall issue 12 was alright... and not quite what it appears. Did you know that popular horror auhor Kelley Armstrong is doing the next arc?

Future Buffy cover (Issue 21) looking nice:

Doggies!

If you're missing Y:The Last Man and need a new Vertigo title, you could do a lot worse than Air, which has just started:

It's mad. But good.

X-Factor currently has hideous Larry Stroman art (U-G-L-Y) but this December cover is nice:


How lazy of me. Good day!

Labels: comics

Holiday is almost over, bah humbug.

I attempted reading a philosophy book but found it to be a bit too bleedin' obvious for me. Does this mean I question the world or am I just a grumpy cynic?

Shelves got rearranged, bought, carried upstairs and shook all about, ending in some things like this:

The DVDs got expanded unit space but I still have an addiction.

The graphic novels bookshelf, also in the lounge, got reduced before the whole thing collapsed onto the 'family heirloom' lamp, lumpy sofa and way-too-large coffee table.

Thrilling, I'm sure.

We went to Plymouth and saw friends (the people, not the endlessly-repeated bag of shite 'comedy' show), a comic shop, a rather good vampire film (30 Days Of Night) on our first ever HD TV / Blu-Ray (everyone in HD has freckles), ate curry and looked at this sign:


Then we went to Bath:

Nice hotel, slightly wonky due to old age (the room, not me), and ate an extraordinary amount of food, including yummy tea and cake at this tea shop:

Luckily my latest Mystery Illness (the stomach one that ruined the last 4 weeks of my life) had gone away. I passed all 5 of the blood tests but received neither a gold star or a certificate. Would it make me mental to be a tiny bit disappointed by those results? I think it must be another mental thing like the other ones that made no sense. I am not on pills for it though, just "Mmm, Danone" and chcolate. Does that help? I think so.

Weirdest tabloid crap while we were away: The Daily Mail reporting that The Bunny Suicides had been banned in China due to some suicides that were A) Human and B) Totally unconnected to the cartoon book in question. This didn not stop my favourite Daily Mail reader commenting:

I should think so as well. What idiot thought up these stories.

- Jacqui Weems, Southampton, 12/9/2008 11:34

I would love to meet Jacqui if he is real. Sadly I believe she may be a spoof.

Bonus video:

Hello Saferide's new song Anna sneaked into my iPod the other week and I found a YouTube link so here it is. It's a peculiar song about a hypothetical over-achieving girl with a bit of heartbreak thrown in. I like it anyway.


There's a True Blood comic out... but it's crappy. Stick to the HBO series.

Labels: comics, Daily Mail, holiday, True Blood, youtube

For some reason, all of the blog is about ladies today. Hmmm...

I have no exciting Real Life news unless you want to know about my allergies, funny super-visible veins on translucent skin, back pains or stomach problems. So instead, as usual, here's some geeky stuff:

Superman has good people creating it these days: James Robinson, Geoff Johns and Grant Morrison. How can I resist?

Did I mention boob jokes?

House Of Mystery is coming along nicely too.

I had a "huh?" moment when watching Weeds this week as Bob Odenkirk turned up in Celia's rehab group playing the role of Barry. It wasn't the big loadz of drugz he was 'acting with that disturbed me but that he had more hair than I remember. How peculiar, now David Cross is the only bald one from Mr. Show again. Weeds was good, by the way, and this 4th season makes up for last year's yawnworthy 3rd one.

I have been slightly addicted to Uh Huh Her recently. Not the PJ Harvey album but the band. So it turns out that they've made a video for that single and my friend XO put it on his blog, reminding me of how I discovered them in the first place:

What a small world it is. Even smaller when I discovered that half of the band is only Leisha 'Alice from The L Word' Hailey. This means something to me for I am a gay.

Cirkus are back. Almost.

New tunes at their *cough* MySpace.

The 2nd new Keane song to appear?

I say "Bowie... with banjos." But I like it.


Solange's CD is rather excellent. Have I mentioned it already? She's like a non-Cylon version of Beyonce but her name is just as peculiar. It's got a Boards Of Canada-inspired track (when I say 'inspired' I mean 'sample-heavy') plus a heap of En Vogue-ish loveliness. I like her McDonalds-inspired makeup.

Unwanted Solange/Heroes crossover movie:

NOOOOO!!!

Labels: comics, Music 2008, youtube

“Simply copying photos doesn’t work. The trick is to find a way to graphically **impersonate** these characters, their gestures and expressions so that it feels natural. In the end it’s either spot on or something your uncle does at Christmas dinner. I don’t know how close I am to the former, fingers crossed it’s not the latter.”



"There was a guy in a crazy long scarf and a girl dressed like Andy Pandy running around a nuclear power plant as a disembodied rock hand growled, ‘Eldrad must live!’ And it scared me silly. I was hooked.”



I cannot recommend this enough, but then I am a Doctor Who, comics and Y: The Last Man geek.

Labels: comics, Doctor Who

I escaped the office today and went out 'on the road.' The road was the tube where I bumped into one of my old booksellers and the first port of call was The Imperial War Museum who have a bookshop hidden behind the big tanks. After a slight delay while the burly security guard had to use his walkie-talkie thing to get us in (no he didn't do the crackly radio noise over it) we sold loads of military books about wars and stuff to a nice man who knew my friend Adam who knows everyone in the world of books. I think he might be famous... Next was my friend Adam's bookshop but he was on holiday so I saw other familiar people and ended up using their computer system to add most of the titles on as they ran out of time and we had lots of nice things for them. It's like I never left. But I have. Then onto my friend Helen's bookshop for more of the same titles and then off to a tiny specialist shop in the west end for more military historyness. My celebrity spot of the day was TV (My So-Called Life) and film (Requiem For A Dream)'s Jared Leto looking pretty near the Avenue Q theatre. I think I stared a bit as I used to have a schoolboy crush on him. Too much coffee was drunk, yummy cakes were eaten, sugar rush was endured. Tomorrow is Office Day and Friday might be Work From Home before the Super Duper Bank Holiday Weekend...

This week's book purchases:


I gave in and bought Volume 1 of Angel: After The Fall. It works better as a book instead of monthly comic instalments but is nowhere near as good as the similarly-marketed Buffy comics.


Tori Amos' Comic Book Tattoo is big and heavy and in paperback as the hardback version would have snapped my puny wrists. It's lots and lots (over 80) of Tori songs interpreted via the medium of graphic novelisms and creators include David 'Kabuki' Mack, Mark 'Fables' Buckingham, Mike 'Sandman' Dringenberg, and Pia 'Y:The Last Man' Guerra so that might tempt you.


The new Who Mag is out.

I want to go read it right now.

Bye!

Labels: bookshop, comics, Doctor Who, Joss Whedon, London, office manager, Tori Amos

Random life stuff: Week 2 of Office Manager World has ended well. I am now fully immersed in my new routine of peace and quiet except for my own choice of music, having windows that open, practically no interruptions and the ability to show off my organisational skills. Is it just me that feels you should adapt spreadsheets to make the most of your colour printer or you're just disrespecting it? Hence all the colour-co-ordinated Excel sheets about releases, jpegs and XML conversions decorating my wall. The free books are tat though but you can't have it all. Anyone want a very quickly-newly-updated book about Jill Dando being dead?



Today's highlight (on Half Day Friday, oh yes, the 9 hour shifts on the other 4 days make it worth it) was being so keen that I was the first person in the building and having to unlock the door. What thrills. I also found a poo stripe in one of the toilets which is inexcusable when the bloody toilet cleaner* is right next to the spare loo rolls. To complicate matters there's always the fear of someone coming in as you're washing your hand, leading to the "Do I tell them it wasn't me? If I do they'll think I'm lying?" quandry.

*a bottle of cleaning material, not a small person on minimum wage.

I shop at Spar now for my lunch. I have to come to terms with the fact that I am slightly a chav, but only in a stealthful manner. And why ARE their 'Breakfast Baps' never made in time for my breakfast?

Chatterbox receptionist assumed Jamie was my brother. I told her. Her internal mute button flipped on. I have solved the challenge!

Here is some stuff what I like:


Made In Japan! It's not new but it is my Song Of The Week. Click it!!!!


Deirdre's Photo Casebook! Oh how I miss this in papery form since leaving the bookshop.

Torchwood FM! Oh sod typing out the press release. Click here.

JSA!

Oh such a good old fashioned but new fashioned superhero comic. From DC.

Labels: comics, music, office manager

// posted by DanProject76 @ 8:36 PM (1) comments

What a peculiar few days...

I got asked to open a bottle of sparkling mineral water for a lady on the tube and luckily didn;t go all weak and feeble.

I booked my leaving do restaurant.

I got my Euros for the France Trip.

I laughed at the puny Daily Mail readers' over-reacting to the Google Earth story by not reading the words and jumping to the usual mentalist conclusions.




"So where will the thieves start first?, talk about an online catalogue."- Ken Smith, Swindon, Wilts, 10/7/2008 17:27

"I'm looking forward to making a claim for trespassing. You would have to trespass in order to take the picture of my front door. Aren't aerial views enough for Google? Do you really need to see someone's front door? We've recently changed our front door. If they had taken a picture of my previous front door, would Google be anyway liable for not updating its records under the Data Protection Act?" - Laura, Derbyshire, 10/7/2008 19:57

"This is an invasion of privacy too far, Now I know why so many have objected to Google's collection of data. It's something that's never concerned me, I've been one of the I've got nothing to hide brigade. There is no way anyone can photograph either my front or back door from a vehicle, but it's the principle. It's going to help criminals and terrorists. Up till now I've used Google as my home page, have a Google email address, and use Picasa for my photo storage. I'm going to vote with my feet, and get rid of Google as a protest!" - RayB, Newcastle upon Tyne, UK, 10/7/2008 21:11

"Not only will this be useful to thieves, and save them lots of time because they will not even have too walk or drive around to stake out places, but it will also be used by the biggest thieves of all, the Government! Big Brother is watching you!" - Charlotte Browning, Bolton, England, 10/7/2008 21:50

"Were emigrating, we've had enough of Brown's Big Brother Britain. Who gave Google permission in the first place to spy. Tony and Gordon who else!" - Dee, Hampshire, England, 11/7/2008 0:41

What was that phrase used in the article? Oh yes:

So shut it.

I decided that the Google Cars were not as interesting as this car:


I ran out of things to do in the bookshop.

I still liked that new Verve song (mp3 here) with the owls and monkeys in it.

I went to London for my Exit Interview (and Forbidden Planet trip) and got rather damp, warm, pissed off and happy.

I went "hmmm..." at this picture:


I got freaked out by some proper acting in Hollyoaks followed by an appearance from the old old feem toon of yesteryear.

I was relieved that even though I am misssing the Mitchell & Webb Event on Sunday due to being in another country I have a spy there.

I gave the first two of my Starman trade paperbacks after replacing them with the super duper new Starman Omnibus Volume 1.

Mmmm, superior comicbook family crisis superhero saga!

And that's what I did. Then I ate sixty four croissants and drank twenty three cups of coffee.

Labels: bookshop, comics, Daily Mail, Doctor Who, Sarah Jane Adventures

This week in my comic collection:


1985 is the latest in a long line of Mark Millar-written comics, a bit like how that Wanted film would have been if it hadn't been completely changed beyond all recognition (Millar was involved in the change so I can't really whinge). This time it's about a kid (just like Kick Ass) who can see the Marvel characters from the comics he buys. In 1985. Hence the title. Hmmm...


X-Factor continues its marvelously consistent run (unlike some other mutant titles I could mention) with Mutant Town being empty since the massive mutant cull and explosions and shit. Jamie is being tormented by an imaginary Layla (in a nod to Galactica?) and finds out that he's going to be a daddy. Then there's a Lost-style time jump in the narrative...


Vinyl Underground seemed like a bad homage to many of the comics that came before it, with a little bit of Torchwood in the mix, but it's coming along nicely now at issue 9. Best not to read this before bed like I did last night as the current plot involves a weird concept that includes William Blake, snuff, sex trafficked illegal immigrants, Love Bomb technology and lots of blood and guts. Nice. And a hallucination talking fox of course.


The Initiative are busy fighting those pesky Skrull invaders over in The Avengers: Initiative, which isn't really all that Avengers-y really when you think about it.


The X-Men find one of those happy coincidences when they save someone from certain doom while out and about in the Tales Of The City city being homeless.


My bestest superhero writer ever takes over Superman so I buy it! James Robinson shows Superman tempting fate while playing catch in space with Krypto. As you do.

Labels: comics

Tatty tabloid guide to creating a panic story:

Step 1: Ignore the expert advice that that won;t be a petrol shortage, find a closed petrol station and pretend it is evey petrol station. Get your foolish herd of readers to start panicking. Then put Fern in Tragic Blonde Corner as she is a dirty fat liar according to some shrews and let Paul McKenna make himself rich by pretending to make your gullible readers rich.


Step 2: Find a petrol station with a bit of a queue. This could be most petrol stations at peak time but do not let facts get in the way. Uee the Enormo-Type setting for a big 'PANIC' to be really subtle. Plus put Zara Phillips in Tragic Blonde Corner because her horsey is not well and scream that an old man has cancer to make him feel better. Do not mention the whole '42 days' thing that has been all over the real news media.


Step 3: Find a shop with no stock in Spain because their tanker drivers are on strike. Ignore that this may only affect 1 in 10 shops here and the empty shelves are in Spain which is another country anyway. Use Super Underliney Red (copyright Maddiethon era Express) to be extremely subtle. Replace Tragic Blonde Corner with panic photo as it is a panic and usual rules do not apply. At least The World's Greatest Newspaper is still only 40p.

Right, that's enough of that shit.

Issue 2 of Captain Britain And MI13 is out now and is The World's Greatest Comicbook. For today at least. The new issue of that Angel 'season 6(ish)' comic is also out but I couldn't find anything worth getting excited about in it.

It's time for Bloggers Blogging About Big Brother (But Not Me) again! This week comes courtesy of Timey Wimey Mimey who quite rightly finds horror and amusement in the kind of person who decides to live in a televisual house, act bloody rude and shouty all day then accuse everyone who objects to their c@nty ways of being "simple" or "disrespectful." Oh the delicious irony:

So we have a character called 'Alexandra' who's had to fight for everything she ever got, who's grateful for her mother's tough love, who has NO FUCKING IDEA THAT SHE'S UNIMAGINABLY RUDE AND AGGRESSIVE. She made me a bit cross. In a kill or be killed situation I can pull all manner of defensive attacks out of my bag. In the heat of an argument it can seem perfectly reasonable to spit out all manner of foul smelling venom. It's not that I'm unfamiliar with conflict.

In last night's footage we had a discussion where the majority refused to be drawn, but anyone who did speak were silenced with a wall of rage. As I understood it, someone had burnt some oven chips, some people thought it was a deliberate attempt to look dim, someone seemed to be saying you shouldn't help out or have a try at anything if you can't do it brilliantly. And there I start to see why my righteous fury button got pushed. We can't all be talented at everything, but I believe trying should be encouraged, sharing is good, helping out and pulling your weight is the right thing to do and above all nobody should tell someone they shouldn't do something because they're not brilliant at it if they WANT to and might enjoy or learn the experience. That started it.

Grrr. So in the discussion Alexandra tiraded. Any opposing point of view or comment was shouted down and the speaker's right to speak belittled. And it is not nice to see a person inflicting such aggression and it's annoying when someone refuses to listen to what's being said, reinterpreting what they hear and reinforcing what they've already said, BUT it's the fact that she didn't seem to realise she was even slightly out of order. She had NO self awareness, none at all, and yet she was criticising others for being dim and ignorant of how the world works. There was an amusing irony in that.

If I had been in that room, and ok I'm pretty much a dripping tap tear-wise, there wouldn't have been a deep breath, moist eye wiping moment, there would've been FLOODS, whether the anger was directed AT me or not. How could anyone stand by and see a human being behave so badly. And the offended girls tried to be strong and show her they weren't defeated, but maybe showing the bully how she had made them feel, that her actions had caused pain would be a better option. Alexandra didn't see any reason why they would've been hurt by her, because she saw nothing wrong in yelling at and intimidating people she's sharing space with.

Maybe she has a hearing impairment and doesn't realise the volume she shrieks at. Maybe she never learned that shouting at people is not how adults should negotiate. Maybe she's a thick and spoiled bully.

Which then leads me to wonder how she has any friends, and loyal minions she does seem to have, when she's a mean old bully, an aggressive, ignorant meanie and when she's with her housefriends not a single positive thing comes from her mouth. It's a constant tirade of bitter criticism of everyone and everything. How do people like that survive? Does it make a person feel special to be under the wing of the bully? Does it feel safe? Is she cool?

Thanks, Mimey. More Bloggers Blogging Aboput Big Brother (But Not Me) next week. Probably.

Labels: comics, Daily Express

It's Great Comics Week, what with the new issue Of Buffy Season Eight (issue 15) and the long-awaited return of my other favourite strong woman character...

Manhunter is back! Kate does more than just phonecalls in the first part of a new story (issue 31)... but I am not spoilering anything. Unlike with Buffy where something bad happened last month...

...awww shit.

Some crazy fun things happen this time, especially with Dawn still being giant-sized, and the romantic complications of recent times are kind of resolved...

Oh those crazy magical lesbians.

Rocksellout has an mp3 of that Kleerup & Neneh Cherry collaboration that I have been liking very much this week, although the album it comes from is as imaginative as perxide blondes dying their skin orange with fake tan.

As I am not blogging about Big Brother this year I have decided to blog about bloggers blogging about Big Brother instead. So here are some snippets of Thom from A Boy Like Thom doing a live blog during the first episode:

"He looks like Sly Stallone. She looks horrendous. They appear to be a couple. Oh god he's wearing a t shirt that says 'The Man' pointing upwards and 'The Legend' pointing downwards...

If there's any fanny in there he is going to nail it. Not my words. He thinks he's absolutely gorgeous, but I'd like to disagree. He is however, a gigantic nob...

She's got a good sob story though, something about a Civil War and having to come to the UK. Well I'm sorry love but this ain't The X Factor. Sob stories won't get you anywhere in this game. Her skirt is so short I swear I just saw a bit of fanny. Perhaps Dale could nail it...

She's always having to do things. She's got a baby, commitments. Life is hard. Thank goodness that Big Brother has come along to relieve her of these burdens. Who cares about the baby, go and sunbath on telly love. You've earned it. Oh and she's got opinions. Ridiculous, moronic, awful opinions... "

So now you don't need to moan about not wanting to see me blog about not watching it. Sorted! More Bloggers Blogging About Big Brother That I Am Not Actually Watching may feature here soon. Or not. Who cares? You decide. Or not. I have more episodes of season 19 Doctor Who from 1982 to watch. I love plastic snakes.

Labels: Buffy, comics, crap telly, Manhunter

My crazy week led to a changed life. I have an inhaler (which I am still not convinced actually helps me breather better) and a forthcoming change of job. After almost seven years I will no longer have a bookshop to run around in ... in eight weeks anyway. In its place will be a small office where I only have myself to boss around and a computer and phone for company. No general public? How will I cope? No Christmas Retail Exhaustion? Oh noez! Managing a book sales rep's office excites me more than it probably should but I shall miss all the crazy (in a good way) people that have been my colleagues and friends for what seems like forever. It's not over yet though...

I was amused and bemused to see that a certain new comic that I am enjoying has got a whole load of tabloid coverage today. It's Paul 'Doctor Who' Cornell's new Captain Britain And MI13 comic, and the reason why is because it has a cameo from Gordon 'happy face' Brown in it. Not a big deal at all really, as it's hardly a news story when the likeness of an American president is used in that way but all publicity for the comics is good in my (comic)book:

Daily Mail readers showed their wit and gave exaples of why they would never be able to write professionally:

'Shouldn’t he be cast as the arch enemy?' - HoveMan, Hove, 02/6/2008 12:39

Oh very dry. Not. If you like the look of that then I recommend purchasing Cornell's Wisdom book which collects that miniseries that I enjoyed very much.

That Alphabeat CD is the latest 'old' album from Europe to become 'new' in the UK.

There are changes from the original version though: Out go The Hours (that whistley one), Into The Jungle and Ocean Blue (which I like even though/because it reminds me of Bucks Fizz) but in come Go-Go (excellent pop), Touching Me Touching You (average) and an 'interesting' cover of Public Image. Most of the old tracks have been remixed so the weird piano bit is missing from the end of Nothing But My Baby, Ruber Boots is totally revamped in a new mellow style (but it's still awful), Boyfriend has a new beat that sounds similar to a certain song about spinning like a record (baby) plus a new bit of vocal in the middle, Fantastic Six sounds busier, What Is Happening is a little bit more epic, etc, etc. It's a bloody good pop album just like it was before so we all win!

Echo issue 3 is out now. From the writer previously known for Strangers In Paradise and soon to be known for Runaways (screw you, slowcoach Joss Whedon!) aka Terry Moore. It's all rather odd but good.

That picture told you absolutely nothing about it, didn't it?

Labels: bookshop, comics, Daily Mail, office manager

What a dramatic week! Like Hollyoaks but minus the inappropriate gold hotpants, random transvestitism, imaginary Emo friends, murder trials done off camera cos courtroom sets cost too much, and hilarious gay misunderstandings. Instead: A two hour (yes really) journey from house door to bookshop door, a fire alarm evacuation that was all over the place, a joining of The Not Called A Shopping Centre, It's A Destination retailer directors board with biscuits (yum) and spilt coffee down my white shirt (bah), a very good annual bookshop audit score and a morning of Spreadsheet Hell that made me want beerz. Did not have beerz though. Thank the imaginary creative being it's the weekend.

Even my Siralanemoticon is bewildered:


Fact! The new ABC CD is quite good.

Fact! Runaways is being relaunched (again?) whenever Joss Bloody Whedon pulls his finger out and finishes his run. As those issues are roughly appearing only every three months or so the August relaunch might be delayed, and as for the cover...

Manga shite???? Do Not Want!!!

Fact! The Runaways movie (er...) is being written by Brian K Vaughan. He is that man what created Runaways. And Y: The Last Man. And Ex Machina. And Pride Of Baghdad. And wrote that Buffy Season Eight comic. And some episodes of Lost off the telly. So good.

Batman (by That Grant Morrison) is still great and actually comes out once a month:


As is That Warren Ellis' run on Thunderbolts, which is nearly over:

Letting Norman 'Green Goblin' Osborn run your dodgy villainy superpowered group who round up those pesky unregistered powers types: Never a good idea!

Tomorrow: No Doctor Who on teevee. So watch a Deeveedee.

Labels: bookshop, comics

What an exciting day!

I lost my voice and sounded like a 60-a-day old trout.

A nice lady from a publisher gave me a free copy of the Neil Gaiman/P Craig Russell graphic novel of Coraline.

Cherie Blair done a book, nobody liked her.

I wondered how many Lockets I could take before I became immune.

The Daily Mail produced some hard journalism about China and Burma's horrible natural disasters:

Oh dear. How could I have imagined real news there?

My Talk About The Unfinished Sympathy article was released into the wild.

I got some more postcards from the human (not Fraggle) Uncle Travelling Matt who is neither operated by rods or made of felt. Europe sounded nice, as it is. I know, I been there!

I cooked a delicious garlic mushroom spaghetti with pumpkin seeds and pine nuts as as I posh. Innit.

Yum.

Serious bit (although any excuse for a beefcake interlude):

Check your balls. Unless you're a lady of course. That would be silly.

Labels: bookshop, comics, Daily Mail

It was a momentous occasion last night when the end of an era was reached down the pub: We only went and won the Final Pub Quiz Ever (probably)! The pub in question, where we have been regulars since drinking was invented, is closing down before it opens again in one of those 'under new management' stylees. So no more smuttiest pub quiz in London, no more rubbish vegetarian option menu that I secretly like, no more leaky urinals, no more most overflowing toilet bin, no more regular team member falling asleep by round four (but still answering questions correctly), no more chance of stroppiest team member from the past ever doing a surprise return to have tantrums during the music round, no more horror at the scary elderly singles club team who just expand rather than ever cop off with each other (oh the horror) and no more me getting annoyed by the blind lady's dog randomly licking my leg and making me sneeze. It went out in classic form with the filthiest pub quiz mistress inserting a swear word between every word of the final ever question until she ran out of rude things to say, and they had no food so we had to go to Tesco for sandwiches. The fact that we won was unrelated to being the only team that bought her a present, honest.

Imagine that logo on a mug with a Shatner face and you'll have the present.

I do not approve of cheating. Now what will we do as our semi-weekly social life trip out? Answers on a postcard please.

Buffy Season Eight issue 14 is out now and is as good as usual. See?


Angel (season six in all but name) issue 7 is also out but is once again not all that spectacular, which is a shame.

Something has been bothering me about The Actor James Nesbitt for a while now and not just my jealousy at his marvellous range of accents. Now what could it be?

Hmmmm... I suspect magic was involved. Another one kicked out of the Bald Pride Club. Oh well...

Labels: Buffy, comics, holiday, pub quiz

Doctor Who was a bit silly tonight, although I like the two parter format very much. There was good and bad this week, with some nice scenes involving the regular cast and some gloopy cloning (which makes sense considering the villains) but what the hell? Sontarans and evil sat-nav and a child genius and a teleporter and gassy cars and UNIT with a new acronym? UNified? What happened to United Nations?

I hope next week's episode manages to makes some sense out of this but at the moment it seems a bit too Daleks In Manhattan and for good reasons. Don't let me down again, Rayner!

Meanwhile, in the real world, I was in a church this afternoon. Now I've only come into contact with God and Jesus and Co at funerals so going to a real live wedding with hymns (not hers, never hers) and prayers and stuff was slightly bewildering. I didn't go up in flames and neither did Husband Jamie, which was nice. The service was nice (I keep using that word but it was) too and we decided to just look at the hymn sheets during the singing bits as there was no obvious rhythm to the them, they sound rather un-joyous to my atheistic ears. Give me them funky clappin' gospel types any day, hallelujah! I'm still not remotely convinced that there is a supernatural being who done did all this stuff like making the world, it seems like a great way to keep people on their best behaviour if you ask me, but the catering was very scrumptious, thanks all the same.

Comicbookgeek moment:

Are you buying Ms Marvel? Maybe you should, as it has a certain Nextwave vibe to it these days. Issue 26 is in those funny shops now. From Marvel. Like duh!

Labels: comics, Doctor Who

I started the day with confusion:

What does that mean? I tried looking on The World's Gretest Newspaer website but all the stories were little red Xs in boxes. How great. Make your own minds up.

For some reason there was a lot of dog poo in inconvenient places on the pavement today. Not that poop in the street is in any way convenient, unless you're one of them perverts. There were also a lot more chavs in the bookshop than usual due to the schools being off. This implies that they go to school when they are supposed to but seeing as most of them just huddle around the gift section shelf that houses such classic 'hilarious' titles as How To Swear In Foreign, How To Chat Up Wimmin In Foreign, How To Flirt and How 2 Txt Flrt (not in foreign) and read out the most hilarious bits in the delivery of a baffled Hollyoaks actress who hasn't got the range then I am not convinced they're attending those 3 Rs lessons. Maybe the Daily Mail is right and it's all compulsary lessons in being gay these days.

Reasons you should be reading the Buffy Season Eight comic, parts 45 to 48:


and


and

and

Has that convinced you yet? Issue 13 is out now. The first collected volume is still out in bookshops and the second collected volume is due any day now.

I'm horrible addicted to The Apprentice. And this version too:

Memo to self: Employ a Dame Margaret lookielikey for when I do the appraisals.

Labels: bookshop, Buffy, comics, Daily Express, The Apprentice

While at work I missed the oven going mental, making a loud bang and smoke going everywhere, due to a part going 'whoops, broken!' or something. I also missed the burglar alarm deciding to set itself off for no good reason. What fun, I am almost glad I was in the bookshop with a major sinus brain damage headache and lack of sleep due to an I.T malfunction waking me up at 4am. Life is funny like that.

I recovered-ish enough to tube it into London after work, went to That Shop (you know the one) and bought another giant hardback New Avengers, the second part of Ed Brubaker's Criminal series and three Fables graphic novels for the Book Monkey, met up with The Adopted Internet Children That We Have Not Literally Adopted and trundled off to the BBC Radio Theatre, stoppong for sandwiches and biscuits and rubbish free newspaper vendor-dodging on the way.

Mmmm... Funny faces!

Behind us in these pictures was Creepy Greasy Haired Man who was a bit of a danger to women as he saw nothing wrong with standing way too close to them while staring in a mentalist way. I also spotted Strange Is It A Man Or A Woman Man who we saw at that Harry Hill recording. We moved further back in the queue, with a scowl, and eventually got to see the recording of John Finnemore's new Radio 4 pilot. As we were almost actually asleep we escaped at the interval but what we saw was good and will make a nice 30 minutes of radio comedy. No spoilers, it's on soon and I shall mention it again.

I haven't had time for Doctor Who excitement but tomorrow is another matter...

Labels: comedy, comics, pilots, recording

I don't like Mondays but fortunately, like Kurt Cobain once sang (growled?) I don't have a gun. It turned out Kurt wasn't telling the whole truth and I think some of our modern rock stars should take their lead from Mr Cobain. Busy busy busy with working and sleeping and eating, and trying to make my ramblings resemble something more sensible. Still time for comics, though, such as issue 5 of Angel:

Still not quite as good as That Buffy Summers Read but not bad at all.

Captain America is still the nest comic with a dead lead character and one of the best things made of pictures, word balloons and words out there. So buy the book, as Ellen Morgan once named her shop:


Meanwhile, in Mighty Avengers:

That Doctor Doom is such a bitch.

Less than a week to go until You-Know-Who and a bit longer until You-Know-Who is out on You-Know-What:

I wanna Ood, dude.

I still love The Daily Mail:

Er... no. I am a rational human being.

Labels: comics, Daily Mail, Doctor Who

My comic (panel)s of the week seem to be mostly about love and sex, which was never intentional. I wonder what that means but I am not Freud (dude) so I don't really care...


Buffy Season Eight Issue 12 sees that new season in comic form maintaining its nice little strengths, ie being fun and feeling real. When I say real I don't mean literally as I know that vampires and shit don't really exist. Except Madonna of course.

As well as complicated romantic entanglements, a major villain makes his/her return.

X-Factor doesn't get enough blog love as it never really screams for attention but is always a solid read, even when the characters spend most of the issue yelling at each other and leaving, like the current one:

It's not some kind of awful Desperate Mutant Housewives though. Yuck.

Millar and Hitch's second Fantastic Four issue arrives on time and gets the right balance of serious and silly, with the usual lovely massive artwork:

It's about the new Earth being built in another dimension as a back-up for when the planet gets too frakked-up to live on, in case you wondered.

Buffy is from Dark Horse comics while X-Factor and Fantastic Four are from Marvel. No DC got me hot and bothered this week.

Labels: comics

What an odd few days, again. I have been disturbed by seeing the cover for Madonna's new album and wish she would regain a bit of dignity:

Do we really need to have a 50-year old vagina thrust in our faces on a daily basis? I think not. Although I shamefully found myself listening to the single quite a lot on my iPod.

I got excited to hear about one of my favourite comic's planned return, via Newsarama:

Manhunter will return with issue #31, written by Marc Andreyko, with art by Michael (Alias) Gaydos. The solicitation for the first issue reads: Los Angeles is Manhunter’s town — so when Kate Spencer learns of the disappearance of hundreds of women along the Mexican border, she’s on the case both as law-breaking D.A. and costumed vigilante. Meanwhile, Kate’s bloodline tie to the JSA returns to haunt her — and it looks like her sidekick’s most notorious supervillain ex-boss is doing the same to him.
Hurrah for having the artist from another one of my underrated classic comics being involved! Now if only they can get enough sales to keep the thing afloat. Again.

I am not doing nuffink useful all weekend as I simply cannot afford the tax:

How would I know what's going on in the world without 'the world's greatest newspaper'? Eh?

I bought that Hercules And Love Affair album and although some of the leaked tracks didn't inspire me it's actually pretty good as a whole project. If you like disco with horns, Antony & The Johnsons having a party, the late 80s sounds of Inner City, a trans person who sounds like Boy George, and slightly theatrical songs then why not buy?

Talking of theatrics (no not my personal life) I was shocked and slightly bothered by this news from Digital Spy: Scissor Sisters star Jake Shears will write the music for a new Broadway musical. The singer and his touring bandmate John Garden are penning the songs for a stage adaptation of Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City. The show, which is focused around life in 1970s San Francisco, will open in 2009. It has been written by Tony Award winner Jeff Whitty and is being produced by the team behind the puppet musical Avenue Q. Tales of the City, which was turned into a TV series in the '90s, was voted Britain's favourite gay novel in a 2006 poll...
I tried to imagine the show:

I love Tales Of The City (the books) to the point of obsession, I own all the DVDs of the series (including the region 1-only series 3) and am a fan of Scissor Siters and Avenue Q. But I am still scared.

Indie pop track of the week, via Adem's blog, is Age Of Understatement by The Last Shadow Puppets.

You might find them slightly familiar as they are Alex Turner from Them Antarctic Chimps and Mils Kane from The Rascals, who I, as an old geezer, have never heard of. But great song and video so I decree a "hit!"

I also decree That John Barrowman Sound a hit. We played his latest album all evening for the late night shoppers on Thursday and even the sulky emo kids enquired about it. I felt like I was in Books! The Musical! at some points but even though Captain Jack scared us with his campy groaning during his rendition of Feeling Good we thoroughly enjoyed the Very Light Entertainment (copyright French & Saunders series 1) that it provided. If you too manage a bookshop I cannot recommend this treat for the ears of your staff and customers (and those annoying types who spend an afternoon on the armchair with a pile of books that they have no intention of buying or even putting back on the correct shelves) enough.


No excuse now it's gone dirt cheap on that internet place.

Labels: bookshop, comics, Daily Express, music

It's the weekend. Phew. I worked today, aka Saturday, and faced the extra level of oddness that is yer weekend shopper (there are always some who insist we are Waters****s when we are blatantly not and never have been, plus the usual chucking out of chavs who think running around a bookshop yelping nonsense constitutes appropriate behaviour). Still, it was nice to actually assist some people who wanted help buying books, and a lady who decided to not buy the first book in a series for her 80 year old friend because "she'll probably be dead before she finishes them" made me laugh. But in a friendly way, not an evil one. We sold quite a few of our lovely Easter Bunnies thanks to one enthusiastic salesperson, and I don't know if a child was humouring me or not when I promised her bunny would not suffocate in the carrier bag I put it in. Now don't get me started on plastic bags again...

Comic Nerd Moment 1:

Wanted trailer seems alright. I am ignoring the differences from the comics and just thinking it looks quite fun.

Comic Nerd Moment 2:

Terry 'Strangers In Paradise' Moore has just released the first issue of his brank spanking new series, Echo. Not to be confused with Echo from Marvel's New Avengers series. So far so odd but good. See?

That above picture reminds me of my 'special' moments with technology and puny human failure .

Comic Nerd Moment 3:

Still loving Buffy Season Eight.

Comic Nerd Moment 4:

Kick-Ass issue 1 is out now, by Mark Millar and John Romita Jr. You might have heard of these people. Clue: One of them wrote Wanted and one of them has drawn bloody well everything. It's one of those 'what if someone in the real world tried to be a superhero?' things and so far it's everything I expected. Which is nice.


My Captain John Barrowman action figure has been getting some action...

I should have kept him in the box. Those poor Daleks' plungers will never be the same again.

Labels: bookshop, Buffy, comics, Doctor Who

Odd moments of the past few days included my attempting to inflate a blow-up Dalek but instead finding all my wind re-directed to the wrong end of my body, going for an eye test and finding the opticians had turned into a Daily Mail 'Have Your Say' forum made flesh ("feral kids" , "foreigners", "...ruined this country", and "I'm not racist but...") , re-acquainting myself with Cardigans love after devouring the double disc new Best Of, almost falling asleep standing up after a particularly horrific first few days back at work after my holiday, enjoying the Torchwood episode written by Joe Lidster ("I'm broken!") and not just because he wrote some of my favourite Big Finish audio plays, finishing off and starting some geeky bits and pieces for elsewhere (mostly pies and rubbish mutants) and deciding not to blog every single day just for the sake of it. What a good idea.

So what got me clicking my mouse like a loon today? Well...

It's only the first batch of character portraits from the forthcoming Watchmen film. I had to be silly with them though.

There are more over at the official place where that sort of thing happens.

Labels: comics, films, music, Talk About The Passion

Highlight of my day was an incredibly jittery customer asking for The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx. I thought she said 'heron' so I was a bit baffled as I wasn't aware that gangly birds kept journals. Then she described it as Stevie Nicks which baffled me even further as I thought Stevie Nicks was more cocainey. Steve Nicks? Nikki Sixx! All rather Harry Hill...


But what would this Heroin Diaries book be like?
Monday: Did heroin.
Tuesday: Did some more heroin.
Wednesday: This heroin is rather more-ish.
Thursday: Had some cake. With heroin sprinkles.
Friday: Heroin again!

Angel issue 4 is out now...

I go onto an unashamedly geeky place whenever I read it.

Sam Sparro (one of my Music 2008 tips, yeah I know) has made a new video for the same old song: the video it deserves. So watch it, not on YooHooTube as it is not there yet but at this rinky dink link.


That was a photograph.

The end.

Truffle, please.

Labels: bookshop, Buffy, comics, Music 2008

She's back. (Maddie sightings from fantasists)
It's back. (The shit campervan)
That's back. (The 'NOW' phrases)
He's back (Brown takes all YOUR money)

No you didn't spot Maddie. Unless you drew a spot on the Scary Picture. Just stop it.

It's just like the old days. But where's Diana?

That was on Wednesday, aka Fantasist Wednesday. But who is the bigger fantasist? Fayed? Or Diana? Only one way to find out...

Dexter starts next week on ITV. Yes, that channel 3 button where Harry Hill lives. It seems like years ago that Dexter (Version TV) started and now regular telly viewers can see it too. Lucky people.

So what did I do on my day off? I finished reading The Hood by Brian K Vaughan (as very good as expected), I listened to the newest Doctor 8.0 Big Finish CD (a mostly unamusing Top Gear In Space style thing), got some new clothes and ironed them (well you know how things arrive in the post), watched two episodes of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (still silly ridiculous but still fun, with big orange school buses covering up the parts of the exterior sets that don't look like John and Pinochiette's School For Twentysomethings, and guest starring Penny From Lost, Dennis From 30 Rock and David Silver From Beverly Hills 90210), the latest Nip/Tuck (where almost everybody hurts, due to car crashes, stabbings and shootings), a new Brothers And Sisters (my guilty pleasure, this week featuring Keith 'Veronica Mars' Mars as a middle-aged friendly gay) , a new Skins that was once again rather great (and featured Sam Sparro's Black And Gold music on a trailer. How wonderfully obscure) and some of the usual shit.

Meh. Who thought getting Duncan From Blue to do 'acting' would be a good idea?

Now it's time to go to work.

Labels: Big Finish, comics, Daily Express, Dexter, Doctor Who, telly

It's Friday and I am knackered, both in brain and body. Too much time spent sorting out other peoples' messes (who really should review their own work before inflicting it upon others) and not enough time eating delicious deep pan pizza and garlic bread (and those funny mushroom things) made my day (and week) a bit like a massive juggling mission. And I can barely juggle two things in the literal juggley sense of the word at the best of times. Anyway, it's now the weekend, I have Sarah Cracknell in my speakers, a chunk of lemon meringue and a cup of tea. Life is great. So here are some comics that are out today:

I love New Avengers. No, not the one with Kinky Boots Man, Patsy Ab Fab and Mister Nescafe. The other one. By Brian Bendis, he of the fantastic runs on Powers, Daredevil and Alias. Ah, Alias. One of my favourite comics ever, and this latest issues made me all tingly inside, see above for the visual reason why. Pity it's all gone to shit for the team since they've become uber-paranoid about shape-shifting aliens in their midst and don't trust each other. A whole issue dedicated to the painful realisation that a relationship is really not working all that well? In a mainstream Marvel comic? Oh yes. And it works.


Talking of relationships, Marvel's first family aka The Fantastic Four have a new creative team this week. You may have heard of them: Mark Millar and Paul Neary? They did something called The Ultimates?

Those kids look a bit bored. They can't have read this issue, where quite a lot happens actually. Some cool new ideas and crazy big pictures, just like you'd expect if you know about these sort of things.

A whole blog post about Marvel comics? And I am 35 in less than two weeks. Shocking.

Labels: comics

Today's Daily Express cover confuses me, and not just because of the dodgy grammar:

And just how many non-migrants are arrested 'every four minutes'? I could not find this story on the web page of The World's Greatest Newspaper so I don't know. Meh. I suppose they'll still find ways to moan about the police not catching criminals... and ooh yes it's hot. Yay! But not for long. Boo! Thanks, World's Greatest Newspaper, for that surely is extremely newsworthy.

Buffy's back! Again! Issue 11 of Season Eight is out now and she has a big fight but luckily those pesky slayers have a monthly subscription to I Love Elastoplast Magazine (free binder with first issue) so she's patched up good and proper in time for issue 12.

Right, I have to go to work. Go me too.

Labels: Buffy, comics, Daily Express

It's the day of (mostly) rest today so here's some recommended geek bits...

That Hercules & Love Affair track is almost out. Some of you have heard it and like it. Here is the video:

It's a bit naughty and when I think about it, kind of disappointing. I don't know why Ray Winstone's daughter annoys me so much but she does. Maybe because she has a boy's name and what with Antony singing the song it's so genderbendery that I think it's 1984 again. The year, not the Orwell book that you will find under O in your bookshop's fiction section. Not G.

Out of context panel of the day:

While Manhunter is (still) on (bloody) hiatus we have Birds Of Prey to give us out monthly fix of Kate Spencer and her ginormous glow stick weapon. And pants-spying.

Buffy issue 12 has another damn fine cover:

It's out on the 5th of March, written by Drew Goddard From Buffy (and Lost. Which is good again. Have you checked out the webisodes yet?) and I appear to have a thing for strong women... but not in a Geoff Capes With Boobs kind of way.

Labels: comics, Lost

What this blog post should have included:
Torchwood episode 2 review,
Laurence & Gus recording review,
Something about gays,
No mention of Heath Ledger being dead,
A snigger at the "I am Robert Murat's lookielikey so he is like innocent, man" tabloid Maddie story.

Instead, here's a quickie as I worked late:


Indeed. Hang gliding and bunjee jumping are rife in the muslim community.

That's a whole lotta pole dancing. Dirty ladies!

That Messiah CompleX (yes the big X is intentional) crossover storyline has finished in them X-Men comics, at last. It were a'ight I s'pose. I have no idea why I am typing like that, before you ask. But anyway, whoops, how careless. Someone didn't put a 'Wet Floor' sign out and Charlie X slipped while carrying his tall skinny chockamochaladeedachino:

What do they do now indeed? How about close the school again? Have the professor in a coma again? Scatter the team around the world again? Relaunch some of the lesser-selling titles again?

Sorted, respect due.

Labels: comics, Daily Express

Oh what a tiring day. Waking up twice in the night for no good reason ruined my sleep and left me as coherent as Amy Winehouse after a night on the Tizer but I managed to get through my day-long meeting thanks to the Jaffa Cakes, orange juice and shortbread. I now have lots of notes to type up into a big plan of the cunning variety but first I shall listen to some Frankie Goes To Hollywood and look at the newspaper to give me happy thoughts inspiration:

Oh.

Bugger.

Miseryguts as usual. Unlike my book at bedtime from last night:

From the makers of the current rather good Angel: After The Fall, it's Spike: Shadow Puppets!

I normally don't go mad for Buffy comic spin-offs but this is a good one... and not just because it has the return of the Smile Time evil puppets. It's available in collected graphic novel form right now if you know where to go for a geeky old time.

Labels: comics, Daily Express

Someone has partly fixed the Daily Express website so the covers work again. Well, almost. It still thinks that the whole weekend was Friday but the front pages were probably identical as you know how it is.

So Zombie George Harrison has been spotted by 'floods' of people? Was he in a Yellow Submarine? Coleen Nolan is in Tragic Blonde Corner which is brunette today after recently housing Diana and Leslie Ash a few times each. Well she did used to be married to Shane Ritchie so she has earnt her tragic position, which is similar to The Magic Position, probably. Free Shit is a health & beauty treatment for every reader but they need to learn that beauty comes from within and vanity kills.

Thanks to Phil for the ABC obsession this week. I love that video so much.

My brain hurts from the E4 episode of Hollyoaks. Not only do we get a new gay who is ZOMG not poofy at all what with playing rugby I mean come on really but just happens to like the other gay in the village, whatever next, but the annoying child who is always getting kidnapped / lost / orphaned / not really paedophiled went missing while being Emo'ed up in a spin-off plot that could have been called Guyliner For The Stage School Boy but wasn't, while the long-awaited Whoops 'Your Baybee Isn't Really Yours' plot began and ended in the space of the episode with a 'nasty cold' developing into a 'we've tested your baybee's bone marrow and he has leukaemia and yours don't match so er sorry not the babyfather innit' by the 'shocking' ending. Phew. How can real life possibly compete with all that drama? It cannot, but we have learnt that it is not a good idea to break your girlfriend (who happens to be your dead wife's sister)'s mobile phone then steal the landline phone before leaving her with your sick child because then she will have to run out into the street with a doll wrapped in a blanket, getting agitated because none of the regular characters are currently doctors or nurses. So don't do that. Okay?

Oh dear. That didn't take very long. Them gays don't waste no time.

Angel issue 3 is out.

I still like it, it's all good, and I must recommend that other thing to you tomorrow.

Labels: comics, Daily Express, Hollyoaks

What a crazy day yesterday turned out to be...

Sunshine, clouds, rain, hailstones, winds, darkness... bloody randomly generated weather! I went off to London where I bought a lot of graphic novels (New Avengers Ginormo hardback version, Pride Of Baghdad (Brian K bloody Vaughan is a God) , Doom Patrol: Planet Love (Morrison!) , new Uncanny X-Men paperback (by Ed Brubaker of course), new X-Factor hardback (by Peter David) ) in a big comicsy shop then bought a lot more graphic novels in a small comicsy shop (Spike (by the current Angel comic team), new X-Men (by Mike Carey) , Powers Vol 11 (still very good), new Ultimate X-Men (a bit meh actually) ) then felt a bit spoilt, wasted loads of time looking at crap sales where I found nothing, visited Fopp for old time's sake and bought nothing, realised I still had an hour to kill so visited The Mothership Bookshop and had a coffee (and a cake. Of course) for a bit, went to wait for people outside a spammy theatre and got several weird looks off random gays (no idea why), had the "any change for a cup of tea?" off various blatantly drunk people, didn't know the directions that tourists asked of me and finally met my pals to wander off to another theatre where we found the theatre bar (darling) that was the venue for the new writers' evening of free books, drink, nibbles and chat. And very nice it was too. I managed to not drink loads of the free booze, had a long Doctor Who chat with a girl (yes really), managed to not mention a classic horror film that one of the colleague's colleagues starred in, and attempted to identify various vague nibbly buffet items. And I shall do it again sometime.

Labels: bookshop, comics, London

It's Official Extra Day Off Work day today as I worked myself into a lurgey state over Christmas and am owed a little time. So I got up at 11, just like the old days. Unlike the old days I always wake up with an aching back, stiff neck, nose full of green shite and stuffy head. The marvellous effects of getting on a bit are not to be dismissed, yoof folks. Meh.

Another day, another Express, and the big question on nobody's lips is who will play Maddie in Maddie: The Movie? They haven't written the ending yet, which might cause a kerfuffle, and as it's an ongoing legal case nobody involved would surely be allowed to be represented onscreen. I am sure the parents, as the main suspects, will be free to scash in on their tragedy though. What a great idea for all concerned. My lead vote goes to Danny DeVito as he has a chameleon-like quality and is probably the right height. In other news, following gas prices going up and electricity prices going up we now have house prices going up! Whatever next? Food prices? Stay tuned.

As I liked that Sam Sparro video I posted yesterday so much I thought I'd post the other one, which is much odder. After failing do define him yesterday I can now use my Lazy Journalism Dictionary and call him a One-Man Scissor Sisters. Or a Soul Mika with Better Hair. Will that do?

The song in question is Cottonmouth, which is actually rather funny and occasionally gross. But always camp.

Weird. As usual.

Buffy Season Eight Issue Ten is in your shops now!

I see Willow is also thinking about the eventual return of TV's 30 Rock, but in a different way.

Labels: comics, Daily Express, Music 2008, youtube

In a bonus blog (more than your recommended daily allowance of one blog) here is some of the usual shite that should have been featured had I not done just the music lists. Nothing interesting as I have mostly been eating fudge, biscuits and fruit while watching my endless Shield DVDs. Yummy!

Good news, telly geeks! ITV1 are showing Dexter from January (that's very soon. Yikes!) and ITV2 have Pushing Daisies from March. ITV having great shows? Two of my favourite shows? Whatever next?

Bad news, comic geeks:

The Magical Reboot Button has (sort of) been pressed over in Spider-Man land. Editorially-driven plot overhauls are a bad idea, especially when written so bloody awfully... *spoler alert* So in order for Aunt May (who must be 100 by now) to survive her 'fatal' shooting Peter makes a deal with the devil to have his marriage to Maty Jane belong in the 'it didn't ever happen at all actually' category? And nobody remembers that he is Spider-Man? And Harry isn't really dead any more? Oh dear. What a crock of spider shit. I shall stick with the Ultimate version from now on.

In other comics thangs...

Angel issue 5 does the inevitable tribute cover. Now where have I seen that layout before?

More reasons why I cannot stand Liz Jones, as if I needed any. This week she has mostly been moaning about how she has left that horrid London for the countryside but doesn't like to show off. On her London past: "I went to Boy George's birthday party at the Camden Palace where a member of Spandau Ballet tried to pick me up, sat through Marx Brothers nights at the Scala in King's Cross, and hung out with Adam Ant... I survived the riots in Brixton - the only London area I could afford to live in - and was touched when my parents sent a food parcel. London was the centre of the universe and I looked down on people forced to live elsewhere." How reassuringly charming of her.

On her London home what she has now gone done sold for a packet: "Georgian townhouse in an Islington square with Dido as a neighbour, mid-20th Century furniture, an Art House cinema round the corner, thrice-weekly meals in fancy organic restaurants." Are we meant to be jealous? One of the reasons she left the capital: "Meeting a friend for dinner meant you had to spend £70 a head for a bit of flatbread and houmous and endure the waiter endlessly looking at his watch, wanting his table back." I don't know of this version of London. Maybe it is for the special people with more money than sense.

On how her social life transformed when she went all rural: "I now talk to so many people who drop in that in the first few days of moving here I lost my voice." Hurrah! But unfortunately for us she could still type her verbal diarrhoea. On not showing off at all about her relocation: "I was able to buy my enormous, if completely unmodernised farm for less than the price of my London house with its hankie-size garden and, as a writer, I can work from home." But she is a writer! Why does she need to buy a farm, if not just for something to show off about? "The average wage in Exmoor is £17,000, while houses in the National Park have risen by a third in three years; no wonder so many young people have had to leave or resort to taking drugs because there is nothing much to do. I understand the resentment towards rich urbanites such as me, who swan in and start remodelling the ancient barn as a minimalist screening room (if I can ever get dozy old West Somerset council to green-light my planning permission). But at least I am employing local people (dozens: holistic farriers, equine chiropractors, vets, plumbers, a gardener), shopping locally and looking after the land."

Oh such a modern Mother Theresa, giving them poor yokels work. Yes, Liz Jones. And they don't really all talk about you behind your back, you poor deluded self-obsessed thing.


My New Year Resolution, if I had one, would be to become just like my icon Liz, and spend my days writing articles about how wonderfully generous I am yet all the men in my life are mean horrible creatures for no good reason, and not at all because I moan on and on about them in the national press every bloody day until they leave me. Oh no. Then I shall complain about being told off by the police several times in a small time frame for repeatedly breaking the law, have a silly strop about how this country is prejudiced against the white middle classes (boo hoo), move to the countryside and be horribly vulgar and shallow. Excellent!

Well it's either that or make a fansite for Melanie Phillips.

Labels: comics, Daily Mail, Dexter, telly

I still can't believe Christmas is all over, from a work point of view. We thrashed our sales expectations, ran around way too much, ate loads of chocolate and installed a sale. Then I lugged all my presents home (more on those in a few days), made the dinner (causing the smoke alarm to go mental as I was rather tired by then) and had a nice cup of tea and a sit down where I knocked this list of nerdy things together. Merry Humbugz and thanks to all my elves!

Angel issue 2 is in the shops now and is not bad but not as good as the Buffy comic... yet. Give it time.

It's got Captain John in it!

Talking of Captain John, Torchwood 2 is almost here! And the trailer looks not shit at all!


I've been so busy, I forgot about The Daily Express!


They had a bit of variety in the headlines this past week... but still just a comic masquerading as a newspaper when you think about it.

The annual Doctor Who Christmas short story is available online right now at the Telegraph website.

It's written by Paul Cornell so it's rather good. And Christmassy. So, er, yeah.

Labels: bookshop, comics, Doctor Who, Torchwood

Day 7 of 7 is done, I now have 3 days away from the books. Tomorrow will consist of a bit of pottering around the house then a trip to the new (oh how exciting) St Pancras station where I have to get a train to somewhere in the midlands, for the Work Christmas Do. Not my work though, it's I.T wife duty for me. Again. But I don't mind at all, it's actually rather nice being an oddity. I have a fully-charged iPod and the new Doctor Who Magazine (with free poster of That Picture) to keep me entertained, but knowing my luck the cold weather will freeze the tube system and I'll get nowhere. I am so full of Christmas cheer!

I have some of Music 200(and 7) left to do but today is a bit of Music 2000(and 8), with Adele finally getting the attention of da meedja everywhere. How unfortunate that she is being called 'The New Amy Winehouse' by lazy journalists. If anything, she is the new Alison Moyet and I don't mean that in a fattist way. She's got the range, darling.

Love that Chasing Pavements song, as I have done for quite a while now. But just how do you chase a pavement? Free mp3 here if you click. Ah go on.


Comics news: The first part of Ultimates Volume 3 is finally here! But it's proper shite. Bad dialogue, rubbish plotting, to much tits-n-arse artwork, horrible colouring, loss of all the magic. End of review. Boo hoo.

But... yes. Suburban Glamour issue 2 is out too, and it's much much better. Phew.

Labels: bookshop, comics, mp3, music

Those Heroes season finales are done and dusted. I re-watched s1 on the real teevee last night and s2 on the pretend telly computery thang and was once again astounded at how the main morals of the show keep getting repeated: Guns r bad, m'kay? Politicians are not to be trusted. It's all about love. Etc. I think there needs to be no more potential apocalyptic futures with bombs, holocausts, viruses, death camps, powers amnesties and anything else lifted from 1980s X-Men comics. And back to the shootings, when were any X-Men ever beaten by a bullet to the guts instead of some fancy super-powered attack? 'Bang' beats 'Bamf'? I think nearly every character has been shot now, and some of them even killed. Sort of. But like in all good (or bad, depending on your viewpoint) comics, death is rarely permanent. Still not loving Saint Joan but Zappy Veronica Mars is improving. All she needs now is a back-up dog.

I really must get these Crap Christmas Presents ideas finished so here are some more:

While Kiefer is off in jail for doing naughty things in the real world (whatever that is) you can have your very own Jack Bauer in your pocket. Impress the chicks with the annoyed cries of "damnit!" that apper to come from your crotch. Oh yes. What else does Jack say all the time apart from the actual time? Maybe it's just a complicated shouty speaking clock.

Girl Power! While the Spice revival continues, with absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever, you can treat someone who has smited you with this lovely deluxe edition of their greatest hits thang. It's the musical equivalent of mutton dressed as lamb, but with a pink feather boa round the mutton's neck. Damn all these 90s groups reforming. I blame Girl Power for the Verve being back. And Shed Seven. Or maybe I should blame greed?

Random Comicbook Geeek Picture Of The Day:

Heh.

Labels: Christmas, comics, Heroes

I am such a geek.

Comic Geek Picture Number One:
I don't buy it buy I look forward to reading this:

I am sure one of my geeks will buy it and leave it lying around.

Comic Geek Picture Number Two:
It's New York...

... Watchmen stylee. Oh yes.

In other news, I appear to be playing a lot of Kate Nash. And after all of my complaining about her, circa Foundations, all over the internet. I am such a contrary hypocrite. Or am I? Almost Thursday so almost pub night. It may stop me being so confused what with my erratic season 1 (stop a bad future happening) / graphic novel / season 2 (stop another bad future happening) viewing pattern of Heroes, and the contrasting reading of Dearly Devoted Dexter inbetween watching episodes of series two of Dexter. Which is completely and utterly different. Almost. Like I said, such a geek.

It's almost December. Fucking hell.

Labels: comics, Geek

This got me a bit excited. Coming soon. Well, February 2008 is quite soon, isn't it?

Mark Millar and Brian Hitch are the new creative team for The Fantastic Four. Geeks will know what that means. It means sales, coolness and probably very late shipping of issues.

Memo to the morning bus to work: Please don't come 5 minutes before the timetable expects you to arrive, at 6:30 am as it's bloody freezing at that time in this current day, and waiting half an hour for the next one is hardly ideal when you're freezing your knackers off. Thanks.

Memo to the customer who kept her iPod in her ears (well the earphones, not the whole mp3 player. Although that's a feat I'd have liked to witness) for the whole 'customer service' and till payment transaction today: You couldn't hear me as I was in fact lip-synching to prove a point. Grow some bloody manners please. Thanks.

Memo to self: Wearing white trainers (no I am not a chav) when it is wet, mucky and windy is never a good thing.

Memo to the woman at the bus stop on her mobile phone: Whatever possessed you to believe that anyone in a 30 metre radius wished to hear any of the admittedly uninspiringly tedious words that came out of your mouth? I really wanted to tell you that you cannot be "like" anything (and using this phrase in every other sentence is like so imaginative), you can have either done something or said something in the past tense. Unless you were Like A Virgin. But I never seriously considered that particular scenario. I wonder why?

Memo to the afternoon bus home: Please try not be half an hour late when it is raining. Or even when it is dry. You only come once an hour (allegedly) so it surely cannot be that hard. The lovely kind smokers use the bus shelter as a rain cover while puffing on their rubbish fags (for our American readers that should be read as 'smoking their cigarettes) , which makes the wait even more thrilling. I now have slightly more potential cancer than I had this morning, as well as a definite rise in dampness. And not in a good way. Thanks.

I was going to save the Daily Express covers for the end of the week but today's caught my eye in the newsagent. Because it is proper classic shite:

Red 'Madeleine' type and Diana is still dead? Oh yeah! Plus 'how to put a stop to your food vices'? How about not being so fucking greedy?

Do you want a KylieX track on free mp3? Of course you do! Click here for The One, courtesy of that rather good Rock Sellouts blog.


Oh noes! Books r doomed! Those pesky Amazons have launched their digital reader devicey thing called the Kindle. In America. It will appear in England at some point, and I shall get Hulk to smash them. Real books are so much better. But then I am rather biased.

Labels: bookshop, comics, Daily Express

It's my lazy day at home and there is no news. Well, maybe this:


How many more little girls are there in the world who are not Maddie? I have a horrible feeling that this one could run and run.

I would post a clip of the official winner of Worst Hollyoaks Episode Ever which was on yesterday but I cannot find one. It takes a special kind of writer to create several new improbable scenarios in one episode ('Rant Club' at the Student Union bar? Anybody? No? Heavily-implied-paedo lifeguard plot that will all be an hilarious misunderstanding? Anybody? No?) purely for the reason that they have worked out the conclusion to various plot strands and need gimmicks to speed down that plot road. Never mind the plot holes. Still, any show that has a mouthy caustic toxic bisexualist transvestite (Ian Paisley in polyester with worse hair), an army of actresses who who appear to be reading their lines off a board which is located somewhere to the side of the camera that is filming them, a 'whoops my girlfriend turned out to be my sister but she doesn't look all that bothered because she iz shit at teh actingz' storyline , a weird-voiced whispery law student who doesn't understand the concepts of perjury, evidence and probably the whole idea of law itself and has had two near misses with the grim reaper in the last few months alone, a sneering gay Vulcan playing the role of a bad boy chav (badly), and a couple of emos who add nothing to the plot whatsoever cannot be all bad. Can it? Whatchoo talkin bout?

Compulsary comic panel of the day:

Daminit the Marvel Universe Proper is rather good right now. New Avengers 36 is one reason why.

Obligatory clip moment: It's a bit shitty-looking but it's for charidee:

Halliwell is fucking stalking me on the internets or sumfink. And: Dok-Torrrs!

Right, I am off to listen to Listen Against on Listen Again. For the very first time. I obey when told to do these things...

Labels: comics, crap telly, Daily Mail, Doctor Who

Meh. Another day in the bookshop with not enough staff to do any 'special projects' but we had resonable music (including They Might Be Giants, The Smiths, Lulu, Dubstar and The Smiths) and had some nice customers (who couldn't believe that a human could find their books without the use of a computer, and an old man who tripped up the stairs and got looked after by me in a scarcely-seen outing for my caring side) so that made up for it a bit... and I learnt about sport while removing loads of old sporting titles and having no idea who these sporty men were/what sporty sport they did. So now I know. But I still don't understand football, rugby or cricket. Give me a comfy chair, a cup of tea and a slice of cake, some company and a nice DVD over watching sweaty men running around with mucky balls anyday. That sounds a bit rude though. Talking of rude, do you want some more bad Christmas present ideas? You do? OK...
I saw the worst possible porno DVD ever in that scary bit in the back of Attitude magazine today:

Oh dear lord. Shoplifting scumsex? Just no. No. No. Dirty chavsex4gays? It doesn't bear thinking about! Don't click this!

But is it more or less scary that this one?

Fun for the famerlee at Christmas. An interactive DVD game thing presented by that awful gay who keeps getting work. Yes please! Or rather, feck orf.

I have to cook dinner now so as I have no content today let's pad this out with a Comicbook Moral.

I love Astonishing X-Men by Joss Whedon and John Cassaday. Obviously.

Labels: bookshop, Christmas, comics

Was yesterday just a dream?

The Express have realised how farcical it all is?
Or is it because Saint Diana forgot her seatbelt in Paris, making it a French Farce?
If so, where are the vicar and the "whoops there go my bloomers" lady?
And Maddie is back, with The Scary Picture in half of the free shit banner. Her 'appearance' tour has now reached Bosnia!

I love Kylie Minogue's new album, and not just because I am a dirty old gay. Therefore here is a clip of Wow. But bejeezus those dancers in this clip (from somewhere/thing called Boombox allegedly. I think it's a young person's thing) are a state. It's like Visage and Spandau Ballet all over again. Plus Kyles looks like a post-op Baby Spice who's been at the dressing up box after too many gins.

See what I mean? Unless you're reading this on Facebook where you can't see. But you can click it.

Here's The One as well. It's another good track but the visuals are full of arse. Now that Kylie has some dignity the arse quotient is supplied by the Fembot Skank Thong Dancers. I just hope that studio has adequate heating.

I love it when comicbook characters get upset about grammar...


Tickets for Harry Hill's TV Burp are now available, free, from TV Recordings. If you go to the December 20th one, spot me and say hello you get a prize.*



*prize may be a lovely tin of juicy Sild. Or not.

All done. Time to make a cup of coffee and put a CD on.

Labels: comics, Daily Express, Harry Hill

What a crappy day, I am so tired after 6 'working's in a row. Day off tomorrow involving eating cake and watching all this week's telly as the groceries magically arrived at our door via the joy of the internet. Hurrah, more Christmas cake for me then. Tonight will be consisting of making some kind of pasta meal with mushrooms, chilli and a courgette (but I am not Ready Steady Cook, honest guv) and watching lightweight stuff like Robin Hood and that Kylie thing as it's about all I'm useful for.

Well I never. Or did I? I can't rmember. Anyway... The Daily Express Maddiethon has reached the magical 100. Yes that's 100 consecutive days on the front page! Some of you may be thinking that there had been no real developments in the case in the last 100 days, not enough to warrant more than a few column inches inside the paper next to a picture of this week's Pointless Reality Shrew getting out of a car with no knickers on, and you'd be right. But you live in the world of flesh and not the world of (cheap inky) paper.

'The three crucial moments revealed'? Only three? What about the last one hundred, you tabloidy charlatans? And pay some money to buy a new Scary Picture you f***ing cheapskates. Main headline: The poor woman who had her throat slashed 'bled to death in agony'???? But I thought you could bleed to death in a relatively happy happy joy state. What a ghoulish pointless headline, even by Express standards. When I say standards I of course mean any cheap stock photo, some red ink and a half-truth plus some Free Shit.


Buffy's back! Issue 8 is in all good shops now and some basically fine ones too.

Want some more ideas for crap Christmas presents? OK...

Magic 8 Ball is a pretty crap thing, isn't it? But Magic 8 Ball in the style of High School Musical? Crap cubed! Except it's round.


One of them dirty Josephs had gone done made a CD. Perfect for your gran, if you hate her. Or that horrible auntie everyone has at least one of.


Your racist uncle will love this Jim Davidson DVD. He probably says nigger, paki, dyke and shirt-lifter many many times, such is the high level of hilarity. He really is an unfunny useless c@nt, isn't he?

Labels: Christmas, comics, Daily Express

My guilty pleasure:

I shamefully had a marathon watching session of The Salt-N-Pepa Show last night and it's as marvellously rubbish as the trailers led me to believe. Episode 1 explained how Salt left Pepa in the lurch when she split the band many years ago and now they're trying to be friends again but Salt is all self-help and religion while Pepa is still an amazonian dirty flirty lady. Oh dear, what a recipe for some not at all stage managed personality clashing! In episode 2 they did their first comeback gig, in Salt's church, but changed Whatta Man to be about Jesus instead of a real man. Ho hum. In episode 3 Pepa had to move her family in with Salt's due to a convoluted problem not at all designed for the benefit of the show and they had some more peronality clashes involving a giant naked portrait, a load of pot plants and a voice lesson at the piano. What a palava! Next week: Spinderella returns! It's the hippity hoppity Osbournes, it even has small yappy type dogs. But with rapping. Not rapping dogs though.


It's day 98 of the Express Maddiethon and I think they want to make it to 100 but have really really run out of things to say after using up every possible non-news story angle. So she's in the new Free Shit Banner Box space for the second day in a row. Bah! Nice to see that 'sunshine vitamins' are more important than a mass murder spree.


Question & Answer Classic:
Q: "Where's the history section?"
A: "It's upstairs"
Q: "How do I get upstairs?"
A: "By going up the stairs"
This happens to me at least twice a week in my bookshop (which has a massive staircase in the middle of it plus a clearly visible lift) for some reason. I don't know how some members of the public actually make it out of their homes, go into the world and return home in one piece sometimes.

Are you enjoying the Buffy comicbook thang? If so, how about this too?


Hmmm...21st November here we come!

Oh no: "The bosses at EastEnders have seen how well Antony Cotton does as Sean in Corrie. He's become incredibly popular with viewers so they've decided it's time to have a gay character of their own. However, he's not going to be as camp as Sean. This guy's going to be very suave and a real charmer." I really hope they do this justice. I cannot believe I'm saying it but they should take notes on how to create a decent gay soap character by watching Hollyoaks.

A sarcastic witty footballing gay geek? Very very good.

Newsflash! Right Said Fred are in the jungle in the telly being celebrities shouting about getting out of there. As are Christopher Biggins, Malcolm McClaren, Lisa Hunter from Hollyoaks (the one with the big boobies and the rough man's voice) and one of 5ive... I really don't want to watch it but...

Labels: bookshop, comics, crap telly, Daily Express, gays

Oh my aching feet and knackered fingers. I spent about an hour today scraping transfer letters spelling out the shop's (now incorrect) opening hours out of the window with a pair of scissors. I got some weird looks off passrers-by although some of those looks were probably just their usual facial expressions. The long-awaited 'sorting out the inventory problem' hour got off to a bad start when the whole shopping centre was evacuated for its surprise (unless you've been told beforehand like I have) fire drill thing. What joy! Still, it was nice to get out for a brisk walk and a spot of milling around. There were more freaky people out than usual today, maybe because it's Halloween or something. Stupid crap American traditions can get out of my face, we have scary people roaming the streets at night every day of the year in this country.

See? I bet they got some great treats.

As it is indeed Hello Ween I demand you download Ben Baker's Halloween Mixtape mp3 thing here. Do it!

The Comic Geek Film photos continue. One commenter yesterday knew what it was but I had already done another graphic so...


Talking of scary shit, The Express is still stuck in a rather ungroovy groove for Day 659 of the McCann Madness Marathon:

Nothing else happened in the world today. Maddie, Diana, Free Shit. I love the way they keep life so simple."£300,000 for a picture of dying Diana? Surely The Express can afford that with the money they've saved using that Scary Picture of Maddie nearly every day for the last 6 months on their front page?

Audio Out has some rather nice 1988/9 Deep House mp3s up. Well I like them anyway and am off to listen to Paul Rutherford and Joe Smooth.

Labels: bookshop, comedy, comics, Daily Express, mp3

Hello. My Not Writer Of The Week this week is Liz Jones. Not because she writes for The Daily Mail. Not because she is self-obsessed to the point of mirror frottage. Not because she has the wrong kind of hair for a woman of her age. Not because she wrote a book full of the newapaper columns she wrote about her relationship / marriage / divorce and thought she really was a real-life Bridget Jones when she was just an annoying woman. Not because she is obsessed with cats, clothes and money. Not because... etc...

Here is why:


On her failed relationships: "I had never been loved by a man, not properly (I’d had only three boyfriends before I met my husband, and two of them didn’t like me that much)"

On marrying a younger man: "They might pretend to be able to cope with you but they are, instead, storing up anger and will hate you for being fabulous, for being independent, for not needing them in your life but just wanting them there."

On divorcing a younger man: "I slammed the phone down, shouting, "I can't believe you are doing this to me, after I bought you a car and a bike and a computer and holidays, and food and clothes and everything!"

On viewing a house: "The house was quite dark and gothic and hideous inside. (I really can't understand how people live with so many awful knick-knacks, and don't even make the bed – candlewick bedspreads! – when they know someone will be viewing their property.) I would have to rip it all out (bar the original flagstone floors) and start again."

On the danger of 'edgy' celebrities: "Should parents be worried that their daughter is listening to Amy (Winehouse)'s records or queueing outside Topshop to buy Kate Moss's latest designs? That their son is listening to Babyshambles?
Can you really catch a drug addiction (or alcoholism or anorexia) from a magazine or an iPod? Well, I am here to tell you that you can."

On zero tolerance of rudeness: "I feel like screaming: "No! I don't! I didn't have one yesterday-and I haven't rushed out and applied for the wretched thing, whatever it is, in the brief passage of time since!" Perhaps I am feeling particularly fragile having spent the past three weeks at fashion shows in New York, London and Milan."

On not being a racist: "I pointed out that my mum's live-in nurse, Rita, is Ugandan and I like and respect her."

On abortion: "Feminist commentators will insist that abortion is never entered into lightly. Among the chattering classes, I'm sure this is the case. Among the group of teenagers I spoke to on Thursday night who live in Hackney, East London, abortion is seen as a rite of passage, a completely normal part of life."

On teenage parenthod: "She needs to go on a gap year and to university; otherwise, she will never have a hope in hell of a highly paid career."

It's because she is a really awful writer with a strange hardcore following of those awful women that you see being awful in public. You know the ones? I genuinely thought that her columns were a spoof character until somebody pointed out that The Daily Mail doesn't do irony and she was real. She almost works on that level but alas it was not to be.

Stop it, Rapunzel!

In other shitness, The Express (Sunday version) went for another bleedin' obvious headline:

Are the papers still not allowed to mention the sw*****g then?

Today's Random Comic Moment is...

Mighty Avengers 5. Only on issue 5 and already running months late. Hurrah!

Labels: comics, Daily Express, tabloid shite

Damn that rugger! It means that The Daily Express, who love it as it is not uncouth football, cannot fit the Scary Maddie Picture on their cover today. So they made her the main story to make up for that, with a challenge set to all readers. Or something. Still no mention of the Karachi bombings but ooh look, free plants and free fireworks! Anybody care? No? Me neither. You can also get £1 off OK! Magazine where you can no doubt read about whether Kerry Katona's Jesus Miscarriage Resurrection last week is still on or off. Just say no. Please.


I was joking but the real OK! Magazine(!) cover is even better/worse. In case you can't read the small print, Kerry Katona is saying "Sorry Posh, you're too desperate to be Diana" , Cheryl Cole is saying "my marriage is perfect" and Jordan and some footie wife are saying "we invite OK! on our wild night out." Such horrible threats and irony, especially from the woman who would make Desperate Dan look like a Catherine Tate "Am I bovvered?" moment when comparing her desperation to his in an Ultimate Celebrity Desperation Deathmatch. I pity the modern woman who feels that they have to buy into this collection of crusty old baps, I really do.

This made me smirk too:

I really have no idea how to answer that. I assume it relates to the luminescence of their fake tans.

If you want some "whoooooooo!s" today then visit Pretty Much Amazing who has posted up a handful of the new (as in from the future) remixes of That Kylie's 2 Hearts. No it's not a song about a time travelling Gallifreyan, but the mixes include the Alan Braxe one and one by Kish Mauve. Which is only fair as it's their song that she's just singing the words over the top of in the first place.

Today's Buffy Comic Wisdom Nugget is brought to you by Willow:

Buffy: The Long Way Home is released next week. Ish.

No real life news today as I'm sitting on my chair reading things and eating things and drinking things ans watching things. It's such fun, what a perfect day.

Labels: comics, Daily Express

What an exciting day in my real life! The pub quiz last night never happened as there were only 3 teams so we came home and watched and loved The Peter Serafinowicz Show. Of course.
Then today we went to the greengrocer where I learnt that they weigh the things (and by 'things' I mean fruit and veg) for you and you just stand there feeling guilty for not helping. I am so self-servicey usually, it just felt mean. Then I didn't get the new issue of the Doctor Who Magazine as the crappy shop didn't have it so I went home and watched the Time Flight DVD and cried at the sheer awfulness of it all. But it does have a Janet Fielding (aka Tegan Jovanka as if you didn't know) interview on it and I want her to be my mum now. After that came a fee hours of humber-crunching over some super spreadsheets so that I am prepared for the mayhem that is Christmas In A Big Bookshop. So far so good. But I don't want to jinx it...

Doctor Who Tegan Jovanka Mad YouTube Extravaganza:

Weird.

I thought I'd finally found something to knock Madeleiana off the Express front page: A whole load of actual real deaths with no conspiracy theories or vagueness. Totally horrific, utterly horrible and very newsworthy. The Guardian had it as its top story and rightly so:

So I clicked onto The Scary Newspaper With No News to see if it was there:

Bad Express! Naughty Express! In your bed! I forgot that dead brown people are not worth as much as dead white people in certain parts of the media. Silly me. I hate the world sometimes. No, make that most of the time.

To change the subject:

It was inevitable: Ultimate Spider-Man 118 is the beginning of Ultimate Spider-Man And His Amazing (Ultimate) Friends. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Random comedy YouTube moment:

You Are Here is now on YouTube. It's written by Robert Popper, Matt Lucas, David Walliams, Paul Kaye and others). It has pretty much everybody from comedy things in it (Nigel Planer, Kate Robbins, Matt Lucas, Paul Kaye, Keith Allen, Peter Serafinowicz, John Thomson, Paul Putner, David Walliams, etc). But this doesn't mean it's extremely funny of course. It's a League Of Gentlemen with less laughs, but still worth a peek.

Labels: bookshop, comedy, comics, Daily Express, Doctor Who, Peter Serafinowicz

It's still the most important thing in the world...


Is the answer:
A) Home Alone 4, with hijinks and canned laughter?
B) A time travelling jaunt?
C) Nobody really knows but they have a newspaper to write?

Meh. What about elephants? What about us?

I am tired and lazy and I have lots of lovely food to eat. So here's today's Comic Du Jour:

Those target="_blank">Flash kids are getting a bit feisty, aren't they?

Right, I'm off to rustle up something fabulous in the kitchen for my husband. It's like wimmin's lib never happened round our way.

Labels: comics, Daily Express

The saga continues...

I have no idea what that headline means at all. It brings all sorts of surreal imagery to mind though.

Today I went to work, played The Divine Comedy to the public for a bit and discovered that I crave chocolate nuts. And that is not any kind of euphamism at all. And I bought some corn plasters to prevent my current painful limping turning me into one of those Cleese-y silly walks people.

Yesterday I settled down to watch that French and Saunders compilation thing and just as I got into each sketch it cut to bits of another one. I feel old but wasn't it better in the olden days when comedy sketches were allowed to run for more than a few seconds before extreme editing / camera changes / interruptions? Loved the show though. Might dig out some of my old episodes to watch without the interruptions. Still got repeats of That Mitchell And Webb to keep my hunger for longer sketches at bay. Hooray...

Rapping fish?
Dancing seahorses?
That weird boy from Doctor Who?
Aquatic facts?
Superstar Deejays?

It's The Salmon Dance. It's The Chemical Brothers. It's odd.


Did I mention the new issue of Buffy Season 8 is out? Well it is. And it's written by one of my favourite Brians.

Labels: bookshop, comics, Daily Express, music, youtube

In Express No News Watch today: Madeleine is relegated to a tiny box in the corner of the page next to the unwanted free crap they give away and Diana is banished to somewhere inside. Probably. I dare not open the thing to check. Replacing The Dead Blonde? Them nasty evil foreigners are back in the non-news and they want 'your' houses / taxes / daughters / sons / grannies / rubber duckies / delete as appropriate. It appears that they (as in 'them foreigns') have mastered some new means of transportation (maybe doing the Hiro Nakamura 'constipation face' to bend time and space?) in their seemilngly never-ending quest to come to this lovely country. It's evolution, there's bugger all we can do about these foreign mutant types.


An Express Reader (Mr Paranoia from Daily Mail Island?) writes (with grammatical errors and spelling mistakes) : "We are the laughing stock of Europe and fast becoming a third world nation... Watch it because the way the country is going we will soon be a minority and being a democracy sharia law could become the norm for regions where there are more muslims than white people! We have already bred ourselves out of the running so we have ohly our government to blame! Unfortunately, our government, in fact all those who live in London, in the upper class belt have no concept at all of how the other half live and how frustrating it is for those who see their community destroyed by immigrants who have no wish to integrate into the life of the village/town but who only want the monetary advantages with no thought of maintaining and enriching the fabric of a society which had hundreds of years of tradition and culture behind it. No wonder there are so many people leaving England and even the early migrants who came over in the 50's are now planning to leave for Canada or somewhere else because the country has lost something of immense importance, its soul."

Mr Paranoia has even less of an understanding or irony than Alanis Morisette, with his cunning 'immigrants are over-running the country so let's emmigrate' plan. What a genius.


Jamie McKelvie from Phonogram's new comic Suburban Glamour begins next week. Oh yes. Mister McKelvie is writing and drwaing it and says "I've been describing 'Suburban Glamour' as Chynna Clugston's 'Blue Monday' meets Jim Henson's 'Labyrinth,' which is to say it's about a group of teenagers doing what teenagers do in a small suburban town, until another world starts encroaching on theirs." Sounds like my kind of thing. Again. Phonogram is out in collected graphic novel / book form now so there's no excuse.


Geeks! And children! And geeky children! Rejoice! The Sarah Jane Adventures pilot episode (remember that? It's organic!) is out on DVD on 29th October. The full series will have started by that point. It's a kids' programme but I am not ashamed whatsoever.

I think I've won this week's Spot The Cylon competition.

Just don't give her ANY security codes, ok?

Labels: comics, Daily Express, Sarah Jane Adventures

What a smashing morning! I didn't get out of bed until 8, after over two hours of that snooze button slapping. The Husband keeps working earlies but I am on late so I've had too many biscuits and it's not even 9 O'Clock. Time to read some comics befroe I go to work and face the masses.

God I love Warren Ellis and his peculiar take on Thunderbolts for Marvel comics. Bloody freaky weirdoes, the lot of them.

Turin Brakes are back with another album on the way (the fourth?) and here is the first vdeo (with thanks to XO's blog). It's peculiar but very good and the song is a grower rather than a show-er:

Weird.

In geek news, Veronica Mars is going to be electric in Heroes... if you know what I mean.

Meanwhile, I think Hulk has been eavesdropping.


Today's gay word(s) is...

Furry cup.

Labels: comics, Geek, music

Back to work we went. It was about time really, as my computer-based lethargy was getting me down and leading to dangerous amounts of Facebooking. I might have ended up addicted to it / hating it like those trendy journalists from The Guardian ("Is this friendship? Or is it playing a game called Friendship, using someone else's words, by someone else's rules?") and The Independent ("I became obsessed with how many friends I had. I accepted people's "friendships" because it would add to my figure – not because I wanted them to be my friend").
Or not. Instead I just took it as a little bit of fun, with the chance to say silly things to people I knew I would never have the time or inclination (mostly due to geographical factors and the number of friends I have quality time for already, which isn't all that much actually) to meet up with in the flesh. Facebook is like a notebook to scribble your "hello"s and "how are you?"s in, and have conversations about the olden days (which are never as good as you remember), what you're up to next weekend, and random silliness with funny people I see often but in a more serious environment. And for that I am thankful. I like to talk, as you may have noticed, and some of my favourite people who I don't get to spend enough time with are on there.

Today I have been mostly listening to this. Yes, it's KT Tunstall doing that Bloc Party song that everybody likes. And it's rather good.


Peter Serafinowicz's BBC show is coming soon. Still. But at least now we have that trailer. You can get tickets to go see a 'screening' in Notting Hill on Mondays in September and October but why would I want to go to Notting Hill on a Monday?

With thanks to Chris from Bandwagon Best for pointing it out, here's another Rather Great DVD that is coming forth..

It's out on 29th October.

Now that I am back in the community I keep seeing people picking up their dog's poo. Does this always happen these days and I have just never noticed it until now? Well done to the canine parents for carrying their poopy bag and hurrah for that slightly ashamed expression some of the dogs make while squatting in broad daylight. If only we could train some of the puny humans to have similar embarrassment over their antisocial behaviour.


Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men run is slowly but surely approaching its conclusion. With only two more issues left to publish it could be anything up to a year until the end! Buy it in collected form so you can ignore the delays and just focus on its loveliness.

There's still time to see Mark Wootton next Friday. But remember: "Be part of this amazing nights of comedy and see a true comic genius at work. Please note that due to the popularity of this programme we ask that you limit your request to the number of tickets you can use, to a maximum of 4 per person."

Today's Gay Word is ...

Bum Chum.

Labels: bookshop, comedy, comics, Facebook, gays

I'm off on holiday so I shall leave you with some geeky bits:

I think I might be looking forward to a certain Jokester now.

I finally watched that Reaper pilot episode. It's directed by Kevin Smith and is about Sam who works in a dead end job in an unfeasibly large and quiet hardware store with his fat wisecracking friend and a sexy girl who he is probably in love with... but on his 21st birthday things go weird because Leland Palmer from Twin Peaks is the devil who has come to reclaim the debt that Sam's parents owe for selling the soul of their firstborn. This debt involves capturing those pesky souls how have escaped hell and getting them back there. Sam is a bit like a less psychotic Beaver from Veroica Mars (also from the CW network) while his fat wisecracking friend is from the school of filmic cliche. The sexy lady has been in Heroes and the whole thing is alright but it's a bit like a dumbed-down Dead Like Me in reverse. He doesn't actually reap anyway! Still, it could have been a hell (geddit?) of a lot worse.

It's been bought by E4, which is kind of appropriate, and there's a cameo from a Dead Like Me person that you'll catch if you're a Super Geek like me.

Talking of Dead Like Me...

I was so out of the loop on this particular happy time moment, but there is no Rube (mandy Patinkin) and a different Daisy. In a 'small world' moment the new Daisy (Sarah Wynter) is played by the actress who played the old Daisy (Laura Harris)'s sister when they were both in 24. When 24 was good. Desmond from Lost (Henry Ian Cusick) also has a major role in this. It's a straight-to-DVD thang, due Summer 2008.

It's pointless annoying DVD re-release time again!
What do I say to the definitive collection?

Feck off, definitive collection.

Worst thing I've seen all day?

Ghastly. I'll stick with Dead Like Me, thanks.

Back Friday with tales of Plymouth, Bath and Cardiff. Yes I shall be Hunting Burn Gorman...

Labels: comics, pilots, telly, Torchwood

The Return To Pub Quiz was a success. There were no smokers (hurrah) so the place smelt of beer and mayonnaise. There was food (with obligatory extra salady garnishing) that was yummy. There was a stupid round called 'Pants & Vests' where the answer started with the word pants or vest (vestry, pantheon, etc) which was fun to do as we mostly guessed the answers before the questions but we were disappointed with there not being a 'pantaloons.' There was, however, a 'vestigal' which made up for the previous disappointment. The cider was apple but good. That is all.

Then I returned home and watched the new video from Sia, who is a bit cuckoo if you know what I mean but her music is oh so very good:


Don't try this at home, kids.

... and then today at work I was a bit dopey until The Donut Pimp brought in some Krispy Kremes and I soon perked up. I also got a lovely bunch of chrysanthemums which I could pretend I bought for my lovely husband but that would be lying and wronge and anyway he reads this blog. So double thank you to my Uber-Minion for the precious things and hard work. Again.

In other exciting news I now have two schooldays Facebookers. It's like Friends Reunited only not shit, dull or expensive and you can waste hours on odd software packages deciding which of your friends is the greatest dancer. If you like that kind of thing. Other Sister Sledge song-themed software may be available. I would have had three schoolchums made big virtual adults but one did a 'delete' and no longer exists in the land of the books with faces on them. It wasn't something I said. Honest.

Joss Whedon is leaving Runaways already. Never mind. His story hasn't gripped me anyway. And guess who's taking over?

It's only Terry bloody Moore! ...

Well I'm excited anyway.

And finally...

I am such a Geek.

Labels: comics, Geek, music, pub quiz

It's Adventure Time!

Blogmeet 2007 was a surpise and a success. The original plan was to meet up with Chris and Kylie while they were in London the day after they went to the gay club that isn't the one with the attitude and poor musical choices but that plan suddenly grew and grew this morning when I received an email from Jemima who was also in town to meet Bert who lives in town anyway. Luckily we have things called mobile phones in the 21st century so the plan was hastily adapted to include meeting outside a Virgin (the shop, not the lady or man who have not done it yet. They are a rarity round these parts) once I got into London after a trip to Waitrose (coz we is posh) with Wonderful Husband Jamie. Highlights of the supermarket trip included both me and Jamie doing our 'uurgggh what the hell are you?' faces at the same time to an orange woman packing her groceries into her shiny 4x4 and she didn't see the funny side, me feeling like I was in enemy territory with most of the trolleys containing stupid 'news'papers for stupid people, and Jamie getting all excited about the wide range of cheeses on sale. What joy! I then went to the tube on the other line as our line is on its usual weekend off due to repairs that never end. Only problem was, the other line was in 'severe delays' mode. Meh. It wasn't all that severe in the end and it gave me time to listen to an episode of Doctor Who (co-starring the wonderful Michelle Gomez from the comedies) and a bit of The Go Team. I eventually got to London only to realise, after deciphering the text about looking at Freddie's fist, that I was at the wrong entrance because I am vague. The laydee needed water so we went on a mission to find water only to find the Virgin Basement Cafe had gone missing. Luckily there was a place down the road selling wet things...

To further kerfuffle the day, Mister Bate and co got the wrong Virgin so we trundled off to the Picadilly Circus one, in the rather sweltering heat, only to find that that too had gone missing. Then I realised that it had replaced Tower Records which had also gone missing. It was like Picadilly Circus at Picadilly Circus! There were rucksacked kids everywhere, like a gay pride march where 'gay' had been replaced by 'rucksack' and 'pride' had been replaced by 'irritation' and 'march' had been replaced by 'dawdling.' We decided on Pizza Hut because everyone likes a bit of cheese, right?

Yummy food and free refills of sugary fizzy pop! What more do a group of childish grown-ups on a day out need?

God we love the cheeseless parmesan substitute and the pizza pot pourri!
As we are geeks we went to lay floral tributes outside Fopp. Then we went on the usual pilgrimage to Forbidden Planet where I bumped into a familiar face...

The dirty knife was a bit of a worry, but then we spotted Ood toys and I almost bought a Mickey Smith action figure with the big gun but it was just too rubbish. Comics were purchased, as was the Phonogram book and Nextwave volume 2 in a lovely hardback form. I needed a wee so it was time for Starbucks and the 'one toilet for all' experience!

What do ladies do in the loo that takes so long? Please please tell me now! Is there something I should know?

Blogger Number Five arrived: Bert had finished working on what he works on at work and he had one of those cold drinks that isn't really coffee. We chatted about coffee, whistling, the perils of blogging about real people, which bloggers we had yet to meet, Top Shop, cheese, zoos, Birmingham, films, badges and other wonderful things.

Then I got the tube home and read my comics and uploaded the photos and wrote all this nonsense. What a perfect day, but without feeding animals in the park and without the heroin.

This post was brought to you by the following blogs:
Project76

Imitation Of Life

My Citrus Sarcophagus

Christopher Bate Propaganda

Kylie's Giant Tree of Disco Shrews

Labels: bloggers meet, Cheese, comics

It's Thursday but I am not at the pub quiz. Partly because it is now rrrubbbash! Partly because My Husband is at work this evening. I don't mind though.

I think I have recovered from the brief lurgey now. Not recovered from Rufus Wainwright being on Richard and Judy (no not literally) where Richard compared him to a seagull. Judy just winced at her husband.


Books are taking over the news. Which is nice. The Daily Mail found out that a certain Tintin book was moved from the kids' section to the graphic novels section because of the dodgy racial sterotyping that was used when it was written a very long time ago and went a bit 'PC Brigade' again. As if they needed an excuse. While moving the book in question many many weeks ago (the tabloids are so up-to-date) I couldn't help but notice pretty much all the Tintin books have dodgy racial stereotypes in them. Those pesky Belgians with their waffles, 90s Eurobeat techno and, er, the other thing. They're not even real French people!

"Remember the burning of the books in Nazi Germany? It could happen here if the Commission for Racial Equality has it's way."- John, Brentwood. U.K.

"Has the Equality watchdog thought of looking for another job? Let us abolish the CRE, it is only in existence to further the downfall of the British way of life!" - Norman, Canvey Essex.

God bless the hometowns of me and the wifehusband!


That Harold Potter person is still getting a lot of attention. Note to the public: It's not out until 00:01 Saturday 21st July. That's one minute past midnight. So pretty much a late night Friday night scenario where you go out, get horribly drunk, have a beer goggles moment, eat a dodgy kebab, go buy a childrens' book. As you would.

Meanwhile, in the bookshop, I decided to look at one of them Test For Foreigners To Pass To Live In This Marvellous Country We Call Engerland books as I am always getting asked what one the customer needs to buy first. After attempting one of the practice tests... I failed. But I can try again. And then again if I fail. Oh the shame. It was multiple choise if that makes me even more useless. I think The Daily Express readers should be forced to do the test and be deported to Daily Mail Island if they fail. That'll teach 'em not to know the correct maypole etiquette or how to jangle yer morris dancing bells correctly.


Musical moment of the day: Tom Jones doing I Bet That You Look Good On The Dancefloor. "Like a robot form nineteen eiiiiighhhty fouuuur! Get on up! Huuurgh!"


"I did Kiss because Princess Diana loved that song."
Oh Tom, you can never compete with Dame Shirley and her Slave To The Rhythm. Sorry.


And now a word from Peter Parker. It's Marvel Comics Catch-Up Time!

New Avengers Issue 32 is out today. Oh yes it is.

Labels: bookshop, comics

Why I love comics #3565:

X-Factor Issue 20 is out now.

Tomorrow in the real world:
Gazillions of poofs and lezzas stroll around London in the inevitable rain (with banners and shit) while Dan and Jamie are too damn lazy to get off their fat arses. What, like Dame Heather once bellowed, have you done today to make you feel proud? Accidentally liking men instead of women? How 20th century!

Tomorrow in Doctor Who:

Martha gets her turn at running around a quarry in Sussex doubling as an alien planet before being befriended by the local freedom fighters, screaming a little bit at unconvincing rubbery monsters and going on to help overthrow the corrupt alien regime after being reunited with The Doctor?

Or am I getting her confused with Jo Grant?

And... is it just me or does Barrowman's hair in Doctor Who look a bit too Travolta/Cagey if you know what I mean?

Wanna have a peek at the pilot for CBS' new vampire detective show where a vampire who happens to be one of the good guys does detectivey cases that regular human detectives cannot do while falling in love with a perky blonde that he cannot truly be with?


Hmmm... this seems very like a poor copy of Angel Season One to me. There must be a way to improve it if it hopes to succeed as a series, mustn't there?

How about they ditch the perky American blond from The O.C and replace her with a cool English blond from Doctor Who? Then replace the old dude playing the other vampire with a younger dude who played a misunderstood bad boy in Veronica Mars? And get someone with experience in running a vampire detective show to be the new showrunner?

They did?

Fantastic!

From Ain't It Cool News: 'Josef, the ancient vampire originally played by 60-year-old Croatia native Rade Serbedzija, will now be played by 25-year-old Ohio native Jason Dohring on CBS' new fall series Moonlight. Dohring previously played Logan Echolls, troubled teen spawn of movie stars, on all three seasons of Veronica Mars. This marks the second major recent cast change for Moonlight. Britisher Sophia Myles (Underworld Evolution, Art School Confidential) very recently replaced Texan Shannon Lucio (The O.C.) as the series’ female lead. Moonlight, the tale of a vampire private detective who falls for a young mortal woman, boasts as its new showrunner Angel co-creator David Greenwalt.'

Yay! I shall post a new clip of the newly re-tooled show when I find one.


Fopping hell! Fopp has flopped. Bert and Jemima will be weeping into their computers when they read this. Where shall we get our £5 Cult DVDs and CDs from now?

Labels: comics, crap telly Doctor Who, Doctor Who

I don't want to find people I went to school with as they were mostly horrible and if I liked them enough to be friends I wouldn't have lost contact in the first place. But then I found some people I didn't know any more and didn't hate and then it all just got out of control (like that Groove Armada song but less chavvy) and I spent far too many hours looking around Facebook. I need to get out more but as I am currently allergic to the everything it's a bit rubbish...

I went to Fancy/C***y London to celebrate/comiserate The West End Bookshop (see my blogs from Summer 2005 - Summer 2006 for details) closing down and do a bit of shop exploration while I was there. Drink, feck, girls and no arse. Phew. We had a nice evening in the local pub round the corner to the ex-shop and even got souvenirs... but I kept seeing this dude out of the corner of my eye...

... although I did pick up a nice Dexter poster, some books and the latest issue of a certain Slayer's comic:

Hurrah for those girls.

I'm still watching Big Brother and admiring Charley's fluid levels of botheredness about everything....

... and I am ashamed to be watching it really.

Labels: comics, London, pub

I woke up with a headache as I kept telling the alarm clock to piss off and I didn't have a grown-up there to drag me out of bed. I think yesterday's magical samosa affected my brain a bit, as it was like five cups of coffee in the form of a tasty Indian snack. Damn food for being so more-ish and me not knowing when to stop, eg the shortbreads and white chocolate cookies followed by the Pringles and ice cream at home. I truly am a vomitless bulimic. I should be on Hollyoaks. Or not. After doing too much washing and ironing and cleaning last night I am doing bugger all today except the usual nerdy things that take up all my times. Like this thing I am typing right now...


Why oh why oh why?

Gay Shame returns with a vengeance:

Here are some facts about the new gays on Big Brother that I found on the internet:
'Seány went to the United States to watch the Michael Jackson trial with his friend who is a Michael Jackson impersonator... Seány's guilty secret is that he loves Girls Aloud.'

I also remembered that this Seany is the very same Seany who popped up on the telly and in the papers at the time of the waxy king of pop's kiddie-fiddlin' trial. From BBC news at the time: 'Seany O'Kane, an Irishman who left his job so he could come for the climax of the trial, was part of a crowd chanting as the pop star arrived at court. "If he is convicted then it is a crime against humanity," he said. "There is too much reasonable doubt." ' Er... I think that says it all when it comes to him. Plus he has 'wacky' hair and 'zany' clothes and seems to be wearing mostly sunglasses in his introduction video. Is it cos he has piggy eyes? Why yes it is.

Also from that internet: 'Gerry says he is offended by "uneducated, common people", admits to being a "total control freak"... Gerry admires Paris Hilton... Gerry says sex is his only vice.' Well I never. A gay who likes clothes and sex and pointless herpes-riddled oxygen-thieving celebrities. At least he'll feel happy in the house as there are no uneducated common people (like you) in there.

Coming up later tonight:

Blinkin' eck! etc...

It's the end...

... but it's better to have the intended ending than have the ending you never intended. In the space of a week I have rettled through some kind of endings for Tales Of The City and now the end of Strangers In Paradise. I need a new 'thang' and I need it now!

Labels: comics, crap telly, Doctor Who

What a gay day. The bookshop now has this new fangled thing called broadband which means I can get emails just like that. And I can send emails just like that too. And I can use the internet to look at things and everything, whereas before I would click on the page, go put the kettle on, have a wee, pour the water (from the kettle, not my bladder) on the teabag in the cup and leave it to brew, check on the webpage opening progress, tut a bit, go squash the teabag and add the milk, go back to the computer and hey presto a webpage had appeared. I don't know what I'm going to do with all this extra time. I feel like some kind of Gallifreyan (if they weren't all dead except for..) or summink.

Talking of books...

This bloody thing and its sequel are bloody marvellous so bloody well buy them instead of bloody Spider-Man or Fantastic Four ar whatever the kids are reading. Yes it's a graphic novel. Yes it has pictures. Yes it's about a girl in Iran and her life growing up (and leaving the country only to return later). Yes it's also going to be a film...

... and it's sort of a bit French at the moment. How sodding posh!

Bonus feature!
Drugs are bad. See?

Kids: Never mistake massive quantities of LSD for transfers. Licking just one LSD will make you laugh in class, find a piece of chalk far too interesting, knock some things over and clamber over a random balcony, threatening to jump.

It must be true, I saw it on tee vee.

Memo to self: Do not watch the performing monkeys on telly at 9pm. They always scratch their arses, pick each others fleas and throw shit at each other.

Labels: bookshop, comics, crap telly

It's the last day of my holiday. I am listening to some truly excellent yet shit dance music from my youth. Hurrah for cassettes and Dolby B NR and other technological wonders. But I keep seeing flashing lights...

Now that makes sense. What would I do without The Daily Express? They tipped me off about the spies in my house last week too. It was gas meters then but actual miniature men with cameras looking at my taxes? Disgraceful! What would Princess Diana say? And how dare the media cash in on her memory? My beloved Express must be so angry about people going on and on about the dead princess to make money from her memory. Honestly...

I think I meant The Other Princess Diana. Damn you, Jodi Picoult!

What shall I do for the rest of the day? More comics?

How can Kate Spencer aka Manhunter resist such an offer?

I love monkeys!

Labels: comics

It was my Comic Nerd duty to post that picture.

Labels: comics

I feel like I have become The Manners Police. While in my bookshop I won't tolerate any nonsense so the endless procession of baseball-capped young men (aka oiks) talking in shouty voices and laughing at the mere hint of ladies' boobs in a book get shown the door, as do the gaggles of moronic teenage girls who find the sofa a thing of unique pleasure and proceed to all sit on it at once accompanied by noises resembling a group of bewildered cows and geese. I didn't realise that my Manners Police was slowly taking me out of my safe environment and into the real world until today:

After a long and hard (missus!) day at work I got on the tube, finally having time to listen to the last two episodes of World Of Pub (a rather good comedy series from a few years ago, highly recommended) only to find two girls and a boy gathered around one of those mobile phones that plays hip hop and R&B through a speaker that sounds like the world's tinniest tin teapot that is actually made of tin. I politely asked them if they wouldn't mind turning it down a bit. Girl 1 (the obvious leader as she was far fiercer than Girl 2 and her hair was oh so much flatter) attempted to reply to me in that kind of yoof speak that just sounds like noise to people with a reasonable command of the English language. From what I could make out, she was very angry that I dared to ask such a thing of her and then queried why I was even bothered as I was carrying an iPod. I informed her that I could hear her noise over what I was listening to and there were other people on the train who would not really be happy with her music being inflicted on them. This confused her further as she asked why I should care about the other passengers and I explained that it is something called common decency (not mentioning my thought about the word 'common' being oh so appropriate in this situation). Her response was, from what I could understand inbetween the shrill tones and repeated references to a sexual act as a verb, noun and indeed adjective, that it was her music and she didn't care about anyone else. At this point I was expecting all of these other passengers to help out with the 'what is manners?' lesson but only one old woman had any kind of guts. Cue various threats to do something involving either kicking or sexual acting her up or something plus something that sounded like a pig at a slaughterhouse and some more innits. It's very hard to understand these youngsters but I believe they had not progressed from the newborn state where their perception of the world consists of themselves and people who exist for their convenience. Or maybe they were just nasty stupid little bitches. Puny humans! At least I had a nice chat with the old lady while Girl 1 and Girl 2 (who like totally had no volume control on her voice, innit) spent the next five minutes saying how they couldn't believe that I was annoyed with them and that this had never happened before. It's political correctness gone mad! Or maybe it's time to blame the parents.




Y: The Last Man- Motherland by Brian K Vaughan is my Book Of The Week. Why? It's the ninth in the graphic novel series that includes the almost-extinction of all men (hence the title), cloning, escapology, massive swords, lesbian boffins and monkey shit. What more do you need, reader? It really is the best comic out there.

Digital Spy reports that some crazy Americans have surpassed themselves on the crazy stakes:
'The family of a girl who was shown Brokeback Mountain at school is suing the education authority. They say Jessica Turner, 12, was emotionally damaged by watching the movie, about two bisexual cowboys, and are claiming $400,000 (£202,000) in damages. The claim alleges negligence, false imprisonment and intentional infliction of emotional distress. Turner's family say she felt she could not leave her Ashburn Community Elementary School class and still needs counselling for the experience. Papers filed by the Turners also say Ms Buford, a stand-in teacher, introduced the film by telling pupils: "What happens in Ms Buford's class stays in Ms Buford's class." '

I really have no idea what to say about that! I enjoyed the film and will not be suing the cinema for a squillion pounds in the near future. I shall, however, be suing Heat Magazine for all those airbrushed photographs of Jordan and Peter Andre as I believe that being exposed to the images has made me shit-scared of waxworks. I cannot go within a mile of Madame Tussauds anymore or I get panic attacks.

Is Veronica Mars dead or alive (as a show, not as a person?) ... Who bloody knows? The network have announced pretty much everything else's fate but are keeping schtum. I am in the process of suing them for distress... and not just because of that Search For A Pussycat Doll programme. Skanky ho show ahoy!


I have just watched episode 22 of Heroes and for about five minutes I thought it was the season finale. So I growled a bit. Then I looked on the interweb and realised there are 23 episodes this year. How bloody odd. But good. Anyone who loves a bit of complex geekery should look for it on real telly soon... perfect for those missing Angel or wanting a more sophisticated version of those progressively worse X-Men films but on a smaller screen.

I really should be writing my Rufus Wainwright review. But fuck it. I'm on holiday now so I'll do it tomorrow. It will feature the following words:
Flounce.
Soaring.
Ponce.
Epic.
Lederhosen.
Naughty.

Labels: comics, gays, Rufus Wainwright, telly

I am blogging on a weekend at a much earlier time than usual... I actually got up early without having to go to work, leaving the wondeful husband in bed snoring lightly and occasionally. Yes, I woke up feeling strangely fine, refreshed after yesterday's Sleep Experiment Gone Wrong. It may have helped me remember my weird dream which I can, for the first time ever (as far as I can remember), share here. I can remember is being in some kind of rather large Wembleysque musical venue which was also really quite small. Like a corner piece of an arena, which is completely mad. The stage was both miles away (I remember this feeling from real life. Never go see comedy in a massive place) and close up and could see that it would change from a stage to a green or off-white (the kind of colour the Little Chef's ceiling had after years of cigarette smoke and no air con) area in the style of that bit of BBC TV Centre that needs refurbishment, i.e. very retro. Which makes no sense whatsoever. I remember that my chair was very wobbly, dangerously so as the usual steepness of the rows of audience was taken to extremes and it was quite a drop in front of me. How dangerous! And on stage? None other than bad 90s rap 'artiste' and friend of Turtles Vanilla Ice (with bad hair extensions for reasons unknown) joined eventually by Beth Ditto who was wearing a catsuit that she really shouldn't have, with KISS-style face painting which was all very lime green. I unfortunately cannot remember any of the songs but knowing my dream-mind as I do it would have been a horrible mash-up of both their (lousy) work. I didn't fall off my completely dangerous chair as I woke up and had a cup of tea and blogged this.

And that is why I do not usually share my strange dreams with anybody...

Nerd Film Alert! That marvellous fellow Neil Gaiman did a rather good book called Stardust with the fantastic Charles Vess. Now it's a film. But it doesn't look like it's been ruined, unless you notice Ricky Gervais is in it. Mini meh for that but the trailer looks excellent. This is the UK trailer, which is slightly different and better than the USA one:

Funny and exciting? Oh yes! The American one is missing most of the bits that made me smile:

Did the studio think they wouldn't get it?

Poor old Des'ree. Not only does she have Lynne Truss constantly posting dog poo through her letterbox (can I point out that I am joking here and it's because Truss is obsessed with inappropriate asopstrophe usage? Just in case she tries to sue me) and is currently suing Beyonce for nicking bits of one of her songs, but now she has won a thing that she won't want to win. From BBC News:

'A vote for the worst lyric in pop has awarded the dubious title to soul singer Des'ree's hit Life. The offending lines are "I don't want to see a ghost/It's the sight that I fear most/I'd rather have a piece of toast/Watch the evening news". Listeners to Marc Riley's BBC6 Music show have been voting for the past three weeks on a top 10 list of shame. Second place went to Snap's Rhythm is a Dancer which goes "I'm as serious as cancer/ When I say rhythm is a dancer". In third place was "And I met a girl/ She asked me my name/ I told her what it was" from Razorlight's 2005 hit Somewhere Else. Other songs to make the top 10 are U2's Elevation (Been living like a mole now/ Going down, excavation), Champagne Supernova by Oasis (Slowly walking down the hall/ Faster than a cannonball) and Black Sabbath's War Pigs (Generals gathered in their masses/ Just like witches at black masses).'

I am sure Des will find it funny. Then she'll count her money (honey) and watch Deal Or No Deal.

Labels: comics, Geek, music

What time is it?

What day is it?

I am totally bafled after my 3AM experience yesterday. And I don't mean a revolving collection of 'glamourous' celebrity hacks mingling with me and someone who Dean Gaffney once propositioned...

The bookshop had its stocktake and it took forever, as these things do. The thing that I predicted would cause problems of a time variety did indeed cause those problems but there were no surprises. No alarms too. Fueled by a veritable feast of sugar-infused products we counted and recounted and tried to work out why tangible objects did not exist according to computers... Seeing as it was 3AM when we finished a trip to The World Of Late Night Transport was called for. Cue us three cold book folks standing outside the cab office while a group of men (I use that word in the biological sense only as they took turns to do a wee in the bushes so I assume that they had penises) who were already waiting discussed how they had been cheating on their girlfriends, seeing prostitutes and getting blowjobs on holiday. What charming men. Bonus charm points for them not all using the same cab (which appeared to be the only cab the company had) but instead making three trips that didn't take all that long. Maybe they were seeing more prostitutes for more blowjobs? Or maybe they lived with their mums...

Even though I was almost asleep and hallucinating from the Krispy Kremes by this time I still managed to do a convincing impression of somebody who was interested in Mister Cab Driver's opinions. I learnt that night time shifts are much better as there are less cars and you can drive quicker (he took this a bit too literally and got me home in impossibly quick time), picking up old women with shopping bags is far worse than a group of drunks (he did not explain his thinking for this one) and everybody's name is "mate." I got home, had a shower and some rubbish sleep then accidentally had a huge amount of good sleep that left me with a pounding headache and the time at 2PM.

That'll teach me.

Random comic panel of the day:


Strangers In Paradise 89. The penultimate issue.

Bah!

Labels: bookshop, comics

Today's going to the supermarket trip's highlights included being almost cut up by a German car that did not understand that there are two lanes on the road for a very good reason, spotting a souped-up (Heinz, naturally) chavmobile parked in literally the middle of two parking spaces that then drove off with more noise than a very large bag of kittens that had just been placed in a river that made the irrational part of my brain take over and run to the crossing to I could make it wait while I slowly walked across and mouthed several rude words to chav driver (while accidentally wearing my Numberwang t-shirt that I tend not to go out in), and giving a local woman driver driving all over the place due to being preoccupied by her mobile phone a great big beeping that she like totally didn't regiseter because she was probably saying things like "What? I can't hear you! I'm in the car!" before accidentally ramming a small child on a bicycle and crushing its head. That last bit (the sqishie kiddie) did not actually happen. As far as I know. But it's only a matter of time. And you wonder why I hate puny humans?

I wanna go Cardiff! Them dirty Torchwood feckers are oot and aboot from Monday doing running, jumping, shagging, shooting and confusing. I can't hardly wait until January 2008.

Actually, I can.

The next part of the Doctor Who cartoon is here!

It's not as good as Captain Caveman, is it?



Calling all fat fucks... Susie is coming to England... The Newbury Comedy Festival is taking places in Newbury (shockingly) from July 7th to 14th and Susie Essman is one of their key bookings. They also have Shazia Mirza, Adam Hills, Lucy Porter, Ardal O'Hanlon, Mrs Barbara Nice, Arthur Smith and Stephen K Amos. Plus others that I am too lazy to name. I maight go or I might be too lazy and get put off by the cost for what are basically very short shows.




After the rather popular indeed Buffy comic that isn't actually ribbish for once, what could they come up with next? How about a continuation of Angel? But didn't they all die? Heh. Joss Whedon says the new comic will be "Season six— that is, the storyline we were planning to pursue— made much more epic and fleshed out quite a bit. We're looking at it as a 12-issue miniseries, to keep it tight and intense. Brian (Lynch) and I have been exchanging juicy ideas. And some that are more bran-y. For health." I might be rather excited by this development.

Is is Gary Time? It is? OK...

I cannot think of anything to say about that clip from Robot Chicken. It scares me yet makes me laugh.

Labels: comedy, comics, Doctor Who, Geek

Saturday was a work day so Sunday is a washing and ironing and cooking and cleaning and food shopping day. Hooray! We went to our local super(but not SUPER)market and got enraged by all the inappropriately oversized vehicles that we could only assume were driven by men with very small penises. Or women with large vaginas. I really should leave a wad of my 4by4 leaflets in our normal sized car's glovebox but I didn't, so when Wonderful Husband had to take a deep breath and squeeze up against an inexrticably shiny offroader to get into the car and drive home he accidentally left them a little present on their window. The poor dear has a crappy throat at the moment and that phlegm is a real bugger to clear. I also managed to mutter in a local crazy person way at a man who was loading his shopping into an enormous shiny landrover with not a speck of off-road (or even on-road) mud on it that was parked in the spaces reserved for parents with children. Unless he had bred with some Lilliputians or the invisible woman I can only assume the fucker was too lazy to park anywhere other than right near the shop. What swung it for me was the thing I saw at the top of his trolley:

Damn them foreigners bringing their exciting new foreign food, foreign films and music to our country and causing the death of morris dancing and tea on the lawn!

I have gone all YooHooTubey! That Doctor Who cartoon episode 3 had a familiar voice in it, plus pirates. Everybody loves pirates, don't they?


I had completely forgotten that Naoko Mori from Torchwood and Avenue Q appeared in the much-missed The Smoking Room. It's a great one... and in a scary coincidence thing I have seen three of the four people in this scene doing comedy in the flesh. But I am not a stalker. Probably.


That Tori Amos has done a weird video. And like Rufus, she has a pop at Georgie Boosh on her new album. It's a bit like a combination of all the previous Toris, including rawk chick Tori from way before the orange-hared pianoeyness era. It's out soon (and in a special edition with extra nice bits) and I have it pre-ordered but I am listening to it right now as I am a naughty boy. It's good.


That Bjork has done a weird video too. Whatever next, eh?


Those Scissor Sisters have done a weird video that isn't as weird as some of their other ones. It does feature a lot of wigs and funny clothes though.



Oh shit. Wonder Woman bought a Hummer! What was Kate Spencer aka Manhunter thinking when she made that sugggestion? I may have to change my opinion about my favourite (almost cancelled but not quite) comic!

Labels: 4x4s, comics, Doctor Who, Tori Amos

Dead Like Me is back! But only in the DVD sense. Bah. The peculiarly hard to define show is one of my Shows We Love That The Public Didn't Get and the second DVD box thing is in the shops now. I recommend getting the first one first and then purchasing this. You know it makes sense. Want a clip to tempt you?

That was technically a trailer so here's a clip:

Sorted.

Good Weather For Airstrikes? Of course! It's one of my favourite mp3 blogs! Not just because it has the quite frankly bizarre spectacle of The Feeling doing a cover version of Miami Sound Machine's Doctor Beat with a bit of Mylo's Drop The Pressure thrown in. And not just because they use the 'rock 1' setting from a Casio SK-10 for the beat, my personal favourite retro noise. Fact! The SK-10 had a 'sampling' option and it was crap but fun when you are an annoying child in the 80's with nothing better to do. Trust me, I know.

The marvellous (meaning wanky) Daily Express have an article full of hints to help their lady viewers keep hold of their men. Oh yes, really. I would start the hints by telling them (in a massive shouty voice) to buy a nicer paper, one that is not obsessed with Princess bloody Diana, muslims, asylum seekers and gays. Anyway, here are the hints (with my own hints) in case anybody out there feels the urge to do an experiment:

8 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO HIM

1 My ex could do X, Y or Z.
Express Woman needs to tell us what X, Y and Z stand for. Is it some kind of romantic algebra?

2 Well, let’s get a divorce, then.
Never a good idea, I find. Unless of course you want a divorce. But what if you are not married? Huh?

3 You never satisfy me in bed.
I can see whay Express Woman thinks that would not be a good one to say. Maybe Express is preoccupied with the state of that Princess Diana Memorial Fountain, wondering how a leaky water feature could be deemed an appropriate tribute to The People's Princess.

4 You don’t care about my feelings.
You're right, they probably don't.

5 You’re never there for me.
Are they having an affair with a woman who reads a less racist newspaper?

6 You’re useless at DIY. Let’s get a builder in.
Is that a euphamism? I don't see that as a bad thing to say to a husband if they are indeed hopeless with a tool.

7 Orlando/Brad/George Clooney is the most gorgeous man in the world.
But they are not! And at least one of them is probably a gay. Maybe two of them for all I care.

8 You’re such a wimp.
Express Woman, you're so wimpist! You shouldn't have married a wimp then, should you?

Blog bit pick of the week? Easy! Mick's weird post about what happened went he went into town (Birmingham) the other day:
" There were Morris dancers in the Bullring (all one word, these days) they were in Victoria Square, there were hundreds of them on New Street, all different colours and shapes. There were Morris dancers dressed up in yellow, black and red strips, being cheered on by a gang of pissed up Watford supporters (who were up in Brum for the semi-final at Villa Park) because they were wearing their team's colours. There were the traditional looking ones with the straw hats on, and there appeared to be a troupe of blacked-up Morris dancers, which I don't think you should be able to do these days, tradition or not. What the black people who saw them thought I can't imagine. What I was wondering is why April 14th? Isn't May Day the official time to put this shit on? Why the middle of Birmingham? Was it a countryside alliance demo?
I think they should bring back full-contact Morris Dancing. Either that or ban it altogether, like smoking. If I can't smoke then they shouldn't be able to pollute my atmosphere with that shite"

Quite right!


Optimus Prime?
Captain America?
What could it all mean?

Heh.

Labels: comics, crap telly, gays

Meanwhile, in the real world, the whole nation has gone a bit Doctor Whoey. Barrowman was on Richard & Judy (my eyes are bleeding from the images that phrase bring to mind) and they did their usual schtick of her talking nonsense and him telling her off. Most tiresome. Barrowman was then on Charlotte Church (he'd have to be pissed) which made me realise that my initial opinions of her potential to be a good television presenter were unfair. She is in fact even worse. Then Tennant was on Graham Norton, who appears to have transplanted his old very very poor Channel 4 show to a BBC2 slot. Cue lots of Graham pretending to fluff lines, do an hilariously piss poor thing with something mildly resembling a TARDIS by The London Eye for no resaon whatsoever and the usual amount of rubbish gay innuendo. John Inman would be turning in his grave if he was dead and now he is so I think it might just happen. Luckily The Times did a rather good article to balance the oddness of The Martha Jones MySpace.


XO found a Scary Picture!

Why, Rufus, why?

Wonder Woman hates Starbucks as much as I do!

Jodie Picoult is writing that comic at the moment. Really. So when is Dan Brown penning Ghost Rider?

A certain radio comedy sketch show that doesn't even start recording until next week (full report forthcoming from me) is already available to pre-order on a well-known website. How very futuristic. Is it Torchwood.Com?

Did I mention that thing is on telly tonight at 7?

Labels: comics, Doctor Who, Mitchell and Webb

Oh how I love to multi-task in the workplace. I can get too good at it and completely ignore people though. That and forget who people I know via MySpace are when told by their girlfriend that I have been leaving messages that I remember nothing about. It's not meant to overlap, this interweb life and the real one. That's not normal, is it? Even though I know quite a few of my 'friends' in the fleshy way too. No not that way. Meh. I fulfilled an ambition the other day when I put in a Doctor Who window in the bookshop, er, window. Is it wrong to be excited by such things?

Only a few more days until The Doctor Who Party! Including the first episode of Season Three (aka Season 29 for hardcore nerds) , a new Doctor Who Confidential, a showing of That Weakest Link Special that you can see me in the background behind John Barrowman in, loads of nibbley food, a cake of some sorts and probably too much wine. Plus various nerds, geeks, new fans and that woman who gets phonecalls while at parties from Liz Shaw and is having lunch with Romana (Version 1.0) on Friday. Oh such a showbiz whirl! I shall, of course, take some photographs of the drunk confused people not understanding why the Judoon look a bit too Sontarany.

Here's the new video from Client. I like it. So should you.


Why do I love Wisdom, that comic written by the staggeringly talented Paul Cornell so much? I shall show you why:



See?

Labels: comics, Doctor Who

It's the friggin' weekend and I didn't get out of bed until lunchtime. Such is the way when you wake up in the night due to having an elderly bladder and then wake up really really early in the morning because you usually do but not today. Blah blah blah washing ironing blah blah blah Battlestar Galactica blah blah blah Harry Hill blah blah blah cheese, mushroom and spinach omelette very nice indeed...

I surprised myself by watching Castaway and enjoying it. No, not that Tom Hanks film, the thing with the people who have to live together in a made up community in the middle of nowhere except they're really down the road from a Starbucks (I wonder if that is where Robbie Walliams did his rehab?) but they're not just vile fame-hungry 'promotions girls' or 'aspiring DJs' or stuff like that. They have old people too! And an annoying Scottish man! And presenting duties from Danny Wallace who is on some kind of lifetime random contract with the BBC. Still it's not got any loony tunes attention seekers who will be plastered all over the chav mags when it's all over. Probably. I shall see how it developes...

Oh look! It's that song that I love but instead of the band I love it's the woman I love. But only as a friend:


I swapped the Amy Winehouse CD from my birthday what I had already got for a History Boys DVD. Oh those history boys so deserved a kicking. If they went to my Essex comprehensive their bags would have been chucked in the bins at least once a week. It wasn't a bad film though but it made me feel a bit common. Which in turn made me feel a bit dirty.

Comicbook words of wisdom of the day come from Grace from Outsiders:


That's all folks.

Labels: comics, Winehouse

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